Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Ode To Cheap Earrings


Nickel, plastic, and all the cheap earring relatives and relati0ns, this one's for you:

For every gold sprayed delight and hand painted copper, my sanity goes out to thee.
Such gifts of green puss and expanding, enkindled ears you give.
Such superior manufacture, unbreakable to all but the touch.
And how blissful those Pirate days of one- ear- earringed joy.

Cheap earrings, what would the world do without you?
Hide and Seek would never be the same.
Jewlry counters worldwide would vanish all due to content consumers' discovery of preferable products.

Ah, yes... cheap earrings... your dispensible, nominal, glitzy, erroneous, adverse characteristics enervate all your admirers.

So, alas, I must find another... yes... I bid thee farewell. I must asset another who can better propitiate and palliate these universal desires of my two lobes.

Farewell. Farewell.

[throws them in the trash can.]
(I shall be saving for "real" earrings.)

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Little Jack and Emily



















I miss these little boogers!
I love you, Jack and Emily.

Faded Me Reflection


[an excerpt from my journal]

I was listening to this song today from Faded Me:

The Best Is Yet to Come

Wait a minute world... the thieves will steal your innocence
Now wait a second world... they'll prey upon your ignorance
And we all become fatalities of this state we call humanity
And we're going down in despair...

But don't give up... Don't give up...
We're all victims, we're all casualties...
We all want rescue from this tragedy...
So don't give up...


Wait a minute world... we're desperate in dissolution...
Now wait a second world... seems we're blinded by illusion...
And temporary satisfactions lead us further into depression
And we're lost within ourselves

But don't give up... Don't give up...
We're all victims, we're all casualties...
We all want rescue from this tragedy...
So don't give up...


Don't give up!!!
So hold on!!!
The best is yet to come!!!


It reminded me to keep fighting. Granted, this song is written for a soul who was contemplating suicide, but I think it finds relevance in my life currently. [No, I'm not contemplating suicide. Let me explain how it finds relavance in my life...] It's so easy to give up fighting for what I know is right. It's so easy to give in to the flesh. It's so easy to stop fighting just for a second, just for a short breather. But then the chorus pierces my ears...

Don't give up... Don't give up!!!
- Just thought I'd share.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Cat food & a Diamond Ring

It was later in the afternoon and a gentleman hobbled up to the counter. He slowly unloaded seven cans of cat food onto the counter from his cart. Then he grabbed a twenty pound bag of crunchy cat food from his cart and nearly struggled to get it onto the counter.
"This all for you?" I asked the man once I have finished entering it all into the computer.
"Yes," His voice came in a quite, gentle tone that displayed many years of experience and wisdom.
"Ok, that'll be $12.67." Came my response as I fumbled to pry the bag from the grocery bag holder.
"$0.60?" He sought clarification.
"$12.67, sir." I projected my voice louder, realizing he was struggling to hear me.
"Okay." He slowly reached into his right back pocket with his right arm, retrieved his wallet, and then laid twelve dollars and sixty-seven cents in change on the counter.
I put the money into the drawer and he put his bagged items into the cart.
"Have a good day!" I quoted the regular line as I watched him slowly put a glove onto his left hand. That's when I noticed that his left arm had yet to move from his side. It just remained there in a right angle, pressed against his stomach. Even when he put his glove on, the arm remained still.
I thought about asking the man if he needed help getting his things out to his car, but I was forbidden from leaving the register and I was the only "employee" in the store. Most customers that would like assistance ask for it at the counter, but this man never said a word.
He put the twenty pound bag into his cart, balancing it on his left arm, which still remained at his side, and securing it with his right. And then he walked slowly out of the store.
A few more customers came into the store and left with various pet stocking stuffers. About ten minutes went by and then I saw the same gentleman walking slowly up to the store. "Oh no, he must want to return something," I thought. But he had nothing in his hands.
He approached the register immediately, or as immediately as he could, after entering the store.
"Did I leave a ring in here?" He spoke in a monotone, yet concerned voice.
"I did not see one, sir." I began to look on the register counter.
"Oh, no." Came his concern. "I must have it somewhere. I must have it." His words trailed off in fear as he emptied his pocket of change onto the counter. Once it failed to appear in his change pile; "I had just put it on my keyring..." He fumbled his keys, appearing aimless and lost.
I called for Jonathon, the store manager.
"Where were you in the store?" I asked the man, hoping to send Jonathon on a search party.
"The last aisle, there." He pointed while he continued to fumble through his pockets with his right hand.
I sent Jonathon to search, knowing he'd search well since his wife had lost her wedding ring before, so the situation was very real to him.
The gentleman put his change back into his pocket and headed for the door. "I'll search in the car." He notified me with his back turned.

God, if it be in Your will, help this man to find his ring. No matter how simple or cheap this ring may be (I thought of a plastic ring.), it means something to him, so Lord, please let it show up. In Christ's name. Amen.

He leaned in the entrance, beaming, "I found it!" He held an older gold wedding ring with four diamonds above his head for me to see.
And he left again without saying a word.

Thank You, Lord.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Painted Egypt


VERSE:
I don’t want to leave here
I don’t want to stay
It feels like pinching to me either way
And the places I long for the most are the places where I’ve been
They are calling after me like a long lost friend

It’s not about losing faith
It’s not about trust
It’s all about comfortable
When you move so much
And the place I was wasn’t perfect
But I had found a way to live
It wasn’t milk or honey
But then neither is this

CHORUS:
I’ve been painting pictures of Egypt
Leaving out what it lacks
The future seems so hard and I want to go back
But the places that used to fit me
Cannot hold the things I've learned
And those roads were closed off to me
While my back was turned

VERSE:
The past is so tangible
I know it by heart
Familiar things are never easy to discard
And I was dying for some freedom
But now I hesitate to go
I am caught between the promise and the things I know



ENDING:
If it comes too quick I may not recognize it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?
If it comes too quick I may not appreciate it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?

- "Painting Picture of Egypt" by Sara Groves.

~ Just wanted to share this rockin' awesome song with you. ~

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Run For Me


When it rains...
Are you going to be there next time
or are you just going to stand there to say it's raining?

When it rains...
will you bring an umbrella
or just bring boots to drown my soul in splash overflow?

You tell me to cling to the cross,
I wish you could see how white my knuckles are
But it feels like they're prying my fingers away
and the splinters burn...
The splinters burn!


But I cannot give up!
I cannot forfeit!
the Spirit inside cries, "RUN ON!"
I cannot turn back,
when I feel I can't win.
Jesus, run in my place. My flesh is giving out.
Hold me... Please... run for me...

[Just a few thoughts than formed a song in my head tonight.]

Saturday, December 17, 2005

That's Mine



Have you ever had something in your life that was so obviously of the Lord? You know, it's like you can see that nothing you did created it. It was God Himself that molded it and shaped it to His liking. It's just so unmistakably obvious that God is the One spurring it all to happen. And you can sit back and see God pointing to it and saying, "That one... yeah... that's Mine."

"That One's Mine."


Soli Deo Gloria.

Friday, December 16, 2005

For Today.


I’ve been feeling kind of restless
I’ve been feeling out of place
I can hear a distant singing; A song that I can’t write
And it echoes of what I’m always trying to say

There’s a feeling I can’t capture
It’s always just a prayer away
I want to know the ending
Things hoped for but not seen
But I guess that’s the point of hoping anyway

Of going Home, I’ll meet You at the table
Going Home, I’ll meet You in the air
And you are never too young to think about it
Oh, I cannot wait to be going Home

I’m confined by my senses
To really know what You are like
You are more than I can fathom
And more than I can guess
And more than I can see with You in sight

But I have felt You with my spirit
I have felt You fill this room
And this is just an invitation; Just a sample of the whole
And I cannot wait to be going Home

Going Home, I’ll meet You at the table
Going Home, I’ll meet You in the air
And you are never too young to think about it
Oh, I cannot wait ... to be going... to be going Home

Face to face, how can it be?
Face to face, how can it be?
Face to face, how can it be?

Cuz this is just an invitation
Just a sample of the whole
And I cannot wait to be going Home...

- "Going Home" by Sara Groves


me too... (sigh) me too...

Can't Say It All

"... I know that sometimes my words can be as hard as stone
And sometimes my words have left You feeling so alone
So please forgive me and hear the words I'm saying now
I will spend my whole life looking for a way somehow
To let You know just how precious You are to me
I'll use the best words I know but I still won't say it all


'Cuz what I really want to say
Is what the sun would say to the sky
For giving it a place to come alive
But my words get in the way
Of what I really want to say
Oh what I really want to say ..."

I love You, Jesus.


Come breathe in me again today.


You are Life. Come fill me up.

Be seen.


But even then... "What are my words compared to Yours?" ...

Fill me with You, for Your name's sake. For Your name's glory.



Wednesday, December 14, 2005

For Jes



Who says you can't dance with God?
Keep on dancing with our Savior, Jes.
He's the reason to dance.
(No fear, He'll teach you the steps.)
- I love you.-

Rejoice in Unsafety



... "Is - is he a man?" asked Lucy.

"Aslan a man!" said Mr Beaver sternly. "Certainly not. I tell you he is the King of the wood and the son of the great Emperor-beyond-the-Sea. Don't you know who is the King of Beasts? Aslan is a lion - the Lion, the great Lion."

"Ooh!" said Susan. "I'd thought he was a man. Is he - quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion."

"That you will, dearie, and no mistake," said Mrs Beaver; "if there's anyone who can appear before Aslan without their knees knocking, they're either braver than most or else just silly."

"Then he isn't safe?" said Lucy.

"Safe?" said Mr Beaver; "don't you hear what Mrs Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you."

- "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe" by C.S. Lewis (p. 146)

I love You, Jesus. Safety or not. You are worth it.

You are worth it.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Nap Time!

I'm exhausted!
Nap time!!!
=)

Monday, December 12, 2005

Cinderella Messages



I was reading an old post tonight. And I thought it helped explain why I have no desire to get a television.

Further expanding upon the previous explanation:
Television has become so difficult to filter these days. You can't even watch cartoons anymore without seeing something that is not "child friendly". Sure you could easily label me as "hiding from the real world", in fact I've even received a similar comment from a close friend. But at what point do we draw the line? See, some parents draw the line at rated R movies. But not all rated R movies; for example, I watched Die Hard with my dad when I was four. Some parents draw the line at sex scenes, kindly asking their child to close their eyes during such obscenities. My question would then be, are you filtering their minds or heightening their curiosity for the deleted scenes? How many of you out there did something that your parents specifically told you not to when they weren't watching just to see if you could get away with it? Some parents filter out the violent movies, but some of those very same parents are the ones allowing their kids to watch power rangers or powder puff girls.

Where do you draw the line?

At least for now, [later it will be up to me and my husband -- Lord granting--] my current solution is to chuck TV. Too often there are messages that I do not support that are flashed upon that screen and in no way do I want to encourage it or be associated with those who are apathetic to the messages that are being programmed into our heads. [All those Cinderella messages that creep in.] Tolerance is taught. And sometimes you just have to put your foot down and say, "No. Not me. Not my house." I can find better things to do with my time.

Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things. They then do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. Therefore, I run in such a way, as not without aim; I box in such a way, as not beating the air; but I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified.

- 1 Corinthians 9: 24-27

Watermark



Come check out the COOLEST band EVER!!! This band is called Watermark. I know, I know.. you (just like most of the world) have yet to hear of Watermark. But that's ok, because people, like myself, have already heard of them and are out there in the world promoting their songs of true worship and praise.

A little background on them: Watermark is made up of a couple; Nathan and Christy Nockels. Christy's voice is the main voice on the albums and Nathan sings background vocals and plays all the instruments in the recordings. [Yeah, he's really that gifted from God alone.] Now, you can read all about their history and their devotion at their site, but I'd like to wet your appetite with these words from Watermark...

"We have to rest in the fact that God measures the heart. Only God can measure what is pure and what is just."

"Our dream is that God would be blessed by our work, instead of asking Him to bless our work."

"We’re excited because we feel freedom. This doesn’t mean we have it all figured out, that is definitely not the case, but God is working in our hearts more than ever before. "

"We pray that these songs will be a daily reminder of truth to replace the lies of this world, and that they will bring peace, comfort, and most of all, worship of a holy God into their lives.”

If you do happen to go to their site, click on the "Listen" tab on the left-hand side of their webpage to get a taste of one of their AWESOME CDs, "The Purest Place". This CD rocks my world and has really helped me focus on my Savior and lead into quiet times with my Lord.

What artists do you know that encourage your passion for our Lord? What songs encourage your verbal declaration of devotion?


Oh, and let me know if you ever want to borrow this Cd. =)

Sunday, December 11, 2005

From One Parking Spot to the Next

Today after enjoying lunch with Chris and Matt at the China Cottage by Apex, I began backing out of my parking spot as usual when I heard the sound of metal striking metal. Just as I was backing out of my spot, a lady came flying into the parking lot and hit me. Being as how I was backing out guess who's at fault? Regardless of the fault, I pulled the car forward and the lady whom I collided with pulled her car into a nearby parking spot. As I drove forward I heard something dragging. I got out of my car and sure enough, there was my bumper; it was attached to the lefthand side of my car, but the right side was dragging. There was a pile of rust and random bolts/etc on the concrete behind my car.
Oh boy. Came my thoughts.
Then I looked at the lady's car. Her front passenger door was nicely dented in. Looks like she won't be having any front seat passengers for a while.
Keep your cool, Monica. These things happen.
Matt pulled his car around the parking lot, preparing to leave (Chris had already left) and much to my blessing, Matt looked back. Matt pulled up alongside of me, turned his car off and got out.
"What do I do now?" I asked Matt. See, I've never been in an accident before, but I was smart enough to realize that insurance people needed to be contacted, so I was holding my insurance card.
Matt coached me through the affair and even went to meet the "less happy" lady with me. The woman spoke no words to me other than verifying information off of my insurance card. All other words she spoke to her friend, whom she was meeting for lunch. After exchanging info, the lady left and Matt shoved my bumper back on (or at least temporarily). Matt offered his car as a shelter from the wind while I called my Dad and the insurance company. After getting off the phone, Matt followed me home to make sure that my bumper would not fall out. I called Kelly to try to get directions for back-roads to take back to Wright State, but she didn't pick up. So, then I phoned Andi Hill to try to find a quicker route then I knew. See, I was doing ok until Andi asked why I couldn't drive on the highway. I choked back my tears as bravely as possible. Focus on facts, Monica. Focus on facts, not emotions. I worked myself through the potential breakdown.
I arrived safely home. Praise be to the Father alone because in all honesty, there's no reason that my bumper should have held together. And as I drove down Zink Road, Matt told me after I pulled into the parking lot at my apartment that he was watching the right side of my bumper begin to fall out and was praying down the whole road. He shoved the bumper back in again and then offered his own car for me to drive to work tomorrow as opposed to risking it with my own car. We discussed whether insurance would cover me driving his car, etc, but couldn't come to any solid conclusion. So, it was resided that Matt would speak to his father about the whole situation and see what would be best.
"Could I bother you for a bandaid though?" Matt said politely. And at once I remembered his bleeding finger from his initial efforts to replace my bumper. His pants were now stained with blood, but he brushed off the issue with gentleness; "I'm sure it'll come out; but if not, they're only pants. I can buy another pair."
I did well, I managed to keep my cool and focus on tasks. I gave Matt a hug [Thank you again, Matt. Sincerely, thank you.] and I kept it all bottled up until I shut the door behind him. Then the tears came.


It's just another reminder that my treasure will forever be in heaven.
[Not to allude that my car is something I treasure. But again, it's all that I have been given.]


I don't know how this situation is going to figure itself out between the insurance people and the repairs of my car and all, but I trust that the God that has provided for me in the past will provide for me in the future. I have to trust that fact. That's the only thing I can cling to. Afterall, a lot can happen from one parking spot to the next.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

The Right Time

I received these verses at the end of a recent email:
There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven-- A time to give birth and a time to die; A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted. A time to kill and a time to heal; A time to tear down and a time to build up. A time to weep and a time to laugh; A time to mourn and a time to dance. A time to throw stones and a time to gather stones; A time to embrace and a time to shun embracing. A time to search and a time to give up as lost; A time to keep and a time to throw away. A time to tear apart and a time to sew together; A time to be silent and a time to speak. A time to love and a time to hate; A time for war and a time for peace.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
All I could think was; how often had I tried to uproot before planting or tried to gather before first throwing stones. I was thinking about how there indeed is a time for everything and it's so easy to use these verses to support our own lifestyle choices, but what if we choose to do some task during the wrong time? What if we choose to run after something when God is clearly saying, "It's not time for that right now?" We run after peace, but the war is not yet over. We jump to hate when we are first called to love. We seek to sew together when God says, "the tearing apart is not yet complete." What then? Where are we then?
Maybe we're further from God. Cause just maybe if God's calling us to remain in the war or the love or the state of throwing stones or the mourning or the dancing or any of these things then maybe it's because that's where God is. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying God is not everywhere. But I have found that sometimes when God calls you to a place it;s because He wants to reach down and be closer to you in that exact spot. It's like when you call a friend on the phone. You both can talk just fine over the phone and you both can enjoy sharing your lives with each other, but there's something more personal about standing in the same room as a friend. Sometimes words are not even needed or cannot be found. Maybe it's like that. God's standing in the place of war, the place of love, the place of dancing and saying, "come here, just come hold my hand."
Dare we remain or go? Dare we listen? Dare we obey? Dare we?
There is a time for everything. And if we are seeking His will, there's a right time indeed.
Patience, weary ones.
Patience.
The time will come.
And just maybe it'll be better than you imagined.
=)

Thursday, December 08, 2005

just words. so few. too fast. but So High




these are just words and are not enough to contain You
Jesus, just words could never suffice to acclaim You

Father just words,
and i have so few
i run out too fast to speak them to You
Father just words,
and i have so few
i run out too fast to speak them to You


You are indescribable, You are beyond expression
i run out of words for You,
i can't speak that high
so hear my spirit groan in me
a painful sense of urgency
to tell You that You are to me
So High
...

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

A Special Blessing

Today God sent me a special blessing. This morning at work I was a bit annoyed and frustrated at the usual "motherly" (picking up after everyone) tasks that I had to do in order to get my job started. It kind of started my morning off on a bit of a rough note and I was pretty discouraged. After speaking to my manager, I felt a bit better since I had actually shared my frustrations this time and done it as tactfully as possible. After drying off a bit (long story) and getting all the pick-up tasks done, I started about my regular routine. That's when God sent a special blessing.
"Monica! You have a job shadow." Sarah yelled at me from the front of the store.
"Great... I'm already way behind," came my Ebenezer thoughts. "Oh well," I shook it off. "Maybe I'm not supposed to finish all my work today. You can only do so much."
I headed up to the front to find a familiar face. It was Cassie, she had shadowed me about two weeks ago for a high school project. Now Cassie wasn't like all the other job shadows that we got at Pet Supplies Plus. Cassie actually #1. cares for animals and #2. WORKS! So I found it quite a blessing to have a friend to talk to while we completed my allotted tasks for the day. Cassie willingly worked hard and her smile and sweet personality was quite encouraging.
So, thank You God for your special blessing today.
You are so good to me.
I love You.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

A Rat Tail Tale

Today at work I assigned myself the job of cleaning out the feeder tanks in the stock room. The feeder tanks are nine aquarium tanks [7 ten-gallon tanks and 2 forty-gallon tanks] full of either mice, pinkie mice [baby mice], Siberian dwarf hamsters [because they multiply faster than mice], and rats [of various sizes]. Now, usually it's my job to clean out these smelly prison chambers on Fridays, but being as how I was sick last Friday and apparently no one else in my work works, I found myself cleaning out these tanks to avoid having to do the Tuesday/Thursday animal department person's jobs all day. [Can you gather a slight sense of disapproval of my work environment? Ok. I'll stop with my frustrating complaining now. Breathe through it.. breathe through it... Ok, I have managed to shake the days stresses from my mind. Now, I can just tell you the story for the story's sake. See... I can already tell that you are much more comfortable sitting there in your stiff computer chair. Ahhhh, yes... so relaxed you are.]
So, back to the story... I was cleaning out feeder tanks and was nearing the end of the row. Now, the stock room where these feeders are housed is not necessarily the warmest of places. In fact, there is no heat in the stock room at all, so when the huge truck delivery door at the end of the long, skinny stock room opens to receive stock, the frigid winter air is vacuumed in; it creates a wind tunnel type experience. So, these poor little feeders are freezing and often pass their days huddled together for warmth. [Don't I paint such a pathetic picture of these little feeders? And yet I hypocritically am the one who feeds them to our snakes and our lizards. What can I say? That's my job.] So, since these little critters are freezing, I tried my best to find little animal shelters (wood boxes) and extra warm bedding for their tanks. Alas, after six hours of spray washing, water filling and bedding fluffing, I found myself at the last tank. And that tank was none other than [cue the scary music] the rat tank. Now, normally our rats are not so psychotic as they are on this beautiful winter morning. See, our rats have recently just popped out babies since the super annoying male rat in there finds it his personal life goal to repopulate the world one rat mom at a time [or some twice]. So these moms that would otherwise be kind, playful, sweet rats [well... sorta] are turned into mean ferocious people killers. [Well, maybe "people killers" is taking it a bit too far, but I have been bit before for simply changing the food in the tank.] So as you can probably imagine, I was REALLY looking forward to changing the rat bedding this afternoon [heavy on the sarcasm here].
I grabbed a big shovel [no, I wasn't going to bash them over the heads] to distract them while I grabbed their tails [the best way to pick up unfamiliar rats] to transport them into a box while I cleaned their tanks. It worked quite well for all but one rat. See, this jumbo rat was the most recent rat mom of nine baby rats and I had taken two of them this morning for another lizard's breakfast. AKA... she was not a very big fan of me.
I tried my little shovel technique on her and nearly got bit twice. [Yay fun!] Then the third time was a charm and voila! I got the rat mom out of the tank. I was congratulating myself in my head when the mom began swinging. Now, let me explain something about swinging. Rat swinging has nothing to do with a back and forth motion of an ordinary park swing. Rat swinging begins much like a two year old's tantrum with the body flailing, but then turns into a psychotic tire swing-like motion of spinning. I moved a bit quicker toward the box and in what felt like hours I looked down to see the rat's lower third of her tail rip completely off and the mom fell into the box. I held the third of the tail for a brief second before dropping it and nearly throwing up. See, here's the bad part. I had the outer section of the tail, but the inner section of the tail? Guess who still had that? You got it! The Mom!
VOMIT!!!!!!
So, I had another girl come get on a glove and pick up the rat mom so I could dip the remaining section of her tail in this stuff that would stop the nasty bleeding. The girl who was holding the rat mom got bit through her CONSTRUCTION glove by this furious rat mom. And... Ugh..... that was just enough that my stomach could handle for the day. No more biting... no more bleeding... Ugh! Monica had reached her max and stepped outside for some air.
Eventually, I finished cleaning out the tank and then I was faced with another problem. How in the world am I going to get this rat mom back into the tank? My manager was kind enough to come and face Jaws, the wonder rat mom, so I did not have to move her. [YAY SHANNON!]
Ugh... my stomach is still churning as I remember the story. But, no fear... it does bring me great comfort to know that you too, my faithful reader, are out there suffering with me. [LOL. Sorry. I couldn't resist sharing.]
And that my dear friend is what I call one nasty Rat Tail Tale.

Monday, December 05, 2005

Toes and a Blow Dryer


Was talking to Kelly on the phone earlier tonight. She is always a joy. We were laughing and carrying on like our regular hooligan selves and out of nowhere she said,

"My toes are cold."

Next thing I hear? A blow dryer.

"Are you kidding me?"
"What?... My toes are cold."
I laughed. "Most people with cold toes put on socks, but leave it to Kelly..."
"I am wearing socks." She cut me off. "And shoes..."

- Laughs encompassed the next few minutes of our conversation. -

That girl cracks me up!

Friday, December 02, 2005

Through My Cheekbones



I really thought I could make it through the day today at work, but I was wrong.

I came back home, sick as well... sick, at about ten this morning. Being the typical child in distress, I called my mommy. About ten minutes later, I found myself on the road to the doctor's down in Cincinnati. A quick swipe of the throat cells proved negative in a strep test. YES!!!! But then something strange happened...

"Does it hurt here?" Dr. Moreira's thick Spanish accent whispered as she put her fingers on my cheekbones and my forehead.
"No."
"Here?" She slightly adjusted her fingers and pressed.
"Nope."
"Hmmmmm"

Then she flicked the lights off and returned with her little light (pictured above). [Sidenote... so this light is actually referred to as an "Ear Nose and Throat Medical Light". Kind of a long title for such a little light. But then again, we are talking about doctors here and we all know they like to make up words and long titles to explain simple concepts.]

So, Dr. Moreira turned on her little light thingy and came back over to me. I assumed she was going to look in my eyes with it.
"Are my eyes supposed to tell her my ailment?" I wondered. "I'm not on cocaine...."
Then she put the light on my cheekbone. "Open your mouth." She told me.
"Are you kidding me?" I thought.
I opened my mouth.
She looked inside it and then repositioned the light.
"Yep." She went back over and turned on the lights. "Your sinus is blocked."
She sat down and scribbled out some kind of chicken scratch that she believes said a prescription, which I cannot spell, but I know really didn't say a single English word.

So, I guess I must just be dense, but it entertains my mind to think that some doctor a long time ago was running out of options in a diagnosis. So, he decided... here, I'll just put this little light on their cheekbones. And then when the light failed to shine through the patient's left pinkie, the doctor declared, "Open your mouth." And BINGO!!!! A SINUS INFECTION!!! EUREKA!!!!

The medical world never ceases to amuse me, I tell ya.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

When the Day is Done


When the day is done,
When the curtain closes,
Will I prove to be the one You saved me for?
Will I be seen as “upholding your will”?
Will I have given everything I had for Your name?

When the lights go down,
When the air becomes cool,
Will my decisions have reflected my devotion?
Will my heart prove obedience?
Will I be less
and You be more?

When I lay down to rest,
When my life is laid bare,
Will Peace blanket my face?
Will I be found dethroned?
Will my crown be cast
with no emphasis on it’s number of jewels?

When the day is done…

What will You see…?

Please, may my integrity attest faithful devotion

…when the day is done.

[written earlier.]

Sandpaper Breath


So me and my sandpaper throat are headed to work today. I've packed my little medicine bag, dressed in my layers, and brought enough money for a noodle cup for lunch. (A whole whoppin' $0.59!)

But no matter what I feel like today, I am so blessed to be alive today.

The Lord has blessed me with this breath and even though it can be so easy to get into a rut of feeling sorry for yourself because you feel ucky... I have still been called to share the love of Christ. And people at work are not in any less of a need to feel Christ's love than they were yesterday.

So, I'm grabbing my scarf and my cough drops and heading out to serve my Lord.

I'm no hero... just finally stepping up to the plate instead of choosing to ride the bench.

I love you, Jesus. May today bless your name.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiicola!!!









Today at work I had:
1. sniffley nose
2. sore throat

...

=/ I don't want to get sick. =/

Hope I can sleep this one off...

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Burnt Out



yeah... me too.

Empty Hands


empty hands held high
such small sacrifice
if not joined with my life
I sing in vain tonight

may the words i say
and the things i do
make my lifesong sing
bring a smile to You

let my lifesong sing to You
let my lifesong sing to You
i want to sign Your name to the end of this day
knowing that my heart was true
let my lifesong sing to You


Lord i give my life
a living sacrifice
to reach a world in need
to be Your hands and feet

so may the words i say
and the things i do
make my lifesong sing
bring a smile to You

let my lifesong sing to You
let my lifesong sing to You
i want to sign Your name to the end of this day
knowing that my heart was true
let my lifesong sing to You


Hallelujah
Hallelujah
let my lifesong sing to You




- only You can make these more than words.

i love You.

teach me to serve You better.

i need Your hand in mine.

in Christ, I pray.

- amen.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Again... Rejoice!



Oh yeah!!! I can't wait! It's gonna be a GREAT concert!
I can feel it in my bones... (hehe)
"Rejoice in the Lord always; I say again, REJOICE!"
- Phil. 4:4

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Saturday, November 26, 2005

My Only Worth

"Wonderful Savior
my heart belongs to Thee
i will remember always the blood You shed for me
Wonderful Savior
my heart will know Your worth
so i will embrace You always as i walk this earth
be blessed, be loved, be lifted high
be treasured here
be glorified
i owe my life to You my Lord
here i am....
Beautiful Jesus
how may i bless Your heart?
knees to the earth i bow down to everything You are
Beautiful Jesus
You are my only worth!
so let me embrace You always as i walk this earth
be blessed, be loved, be lifted high
be treasured here
be glorified
i owe my life to You my Lord
here i am....
here i am...
here i am...
knees to the earth, here i am..."
Luke 9:23
Matthew 10:38
Luke 14:27
teach me, Savior.
please, teach me.
i am Yours
only because You have called me Yours.

A Cup of Popcorn and the Kids



I had the opportunity to go to The Fantastic Four with Matt Stauffer and "the kids", Sarah and James Stauffer. (Sarah and James are Matt's little sister and brother and are commonly referred to as "the kids".) At the theatre, Matt nominated himself as "popcorn/etc go-getter" and I happily remained with Sarah and James in eager anticipation of the soon-arriving popcorn. On trip #1 to the concession stands, James went with Matt while Sarah and I had a little heart-to-heart.
"So, what's it like having so many brothers?" I struggled to start a conversation with the 12 year old.
"I don't know. It's ok, I guess." Came back the stereotypical reflection of societal influence on the pre-teen's apathetic mind. [ooo, don't I sound like a sociology major... Oh wait... I am... for now.] "It can be annoying sometimes." - And that part of the conversation was done. -
"So, do you have any pets?"
And thus began the long history of pets that had died while in the Stauffer household. Slightly morbid, yes, but I was grateful that Sarah was choosing to disclose any information to me. In fact, I was even told of an animal accident in which only family members were supposed to know. So I considered it a compliment that apparently something within my character was acknowledged by this 12 year old as "trustworthy".

The reviews began and Matt and James returned with goodies. Some ways into the movie there became a popcorn shortage, sending Matt back to the concession stand for "concession Stand Trip #2". [Officially labeled by yours truly. ;) ] Taking advantage of the empty seat between us, James leaned over to me.
"Are you liking the movie?" He yell-whispered.
"Oh yes."
"Shhhhhh," a father reprimanded from a row back.
There was silence.
Then came a voice.
"Are you liking the movie?" James belted out again. Apparently he had not heard my response before.
I leaned closer to him and spoke with joy, "Yes, James, I am!"
Another Shhhh.
James sat back down, satisfied with my contentment.
I didn't mind the shhhing. That man could shhh all he wanted. James was trying his best to be a good host. And at the wee age of 6? I was thoroughly impressed.
Then came the comment as the child's eyes remained glued to the movie screen, "You and Matt must be good friends, huh?"
"Yep! ... We are." I smiled.
"Yeah, good, good friends." He ended as he went back to his silent movie-trans.
Matt returned with popcorn reinforcements.
"Close your eyes," Matt told James when a less "kid-friendly" section of the movie popped up. (I was glad Matt had already seen the movie so he could monitor what images were impressed into his sibling's minds.)

It was fun seeing a movie with Matt and "the kids". Yes, the movie itself was entertaining, but I found my real entertainment from watching Matt and "the kids". James attempted to be a good host. Sarah pointed out every child she knew in the theatre and generally tried her best to distance herself for the label of "child". Matt tried his best (and he did an excellent job indeed) at "calming" James and Sarah back to their normal selves when they felt the need to show off for "the guest".

At the end of the movie, James asked me as we were leaving, "Are you glad we took you?"
"Oh yes, James. I am!"
He hopped off with a smile.

We got into the parking lot and James began utilizing the energy that he had been storing all throughout the movie by poking Matt and backing away before Matt could reach him.
"Alright, James... that's it." Matt turned around, grabbed the child and threw him over his shoulder. James laughed, expressing his delight in hanging upside down. Matt pretended to throw James into cars and run him into stuff. James, at the mercy of Matt, squealed and laughed with absolute trust in his brother's care. Sarah leaned closer to me as we walked, "Boys..." She spoke with a teenager attitude. I giggled.

They're fun!

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Over a Candle

Woke up from a nightmare this morning. It went like this;

I was the middle child of three kids. I had a little sister named, I think, Katie and an older brother named, I think, Caleb. Katie was five (or around that age), and Caleb was like nine or something.


Katie and I were playing outside on our property. We lived in the country so we had a lot of land to play on. As we were playing an image appeared to us. "Come," spoke the spirit who whenever she spoke to us, she spoke with her face over a candle with a long flame. She kept fading in and out quickly so I couldn't really define her complete shape. It's kind of like those really old movies where the people are standing still, but because of the recording technology it appears as though they're inconsistently moving. She kept fading in and out quickly and reappearing slightly to the left or to the right of her prior placement. She looked quite lovely and attracted Katie's eyes and mind immediately. Katie dropped what she was doing and kept telling me that she wanted to follow "the lady". "I don't think that’s a good idea Katie." I spoke with the amount of wisdom that I contain today at age 20. [It was the mere fact that she spoke slowly with her face near the flame of the candle and did not even flinch that fueled my discernment.] "No, I really think that..." Katie appeared in a near tranz, following the spirit with partial curiosity and willingness and yet the spirit appeared to be dragging her in. I followed Katie, partially curious myself, but also hoping to change Katie's mind and leave the, who had now become, creepy spirit. Caleb, at this point, was playing nearby and yet far enough away that he saw what was happening, but remained behind to do whatever it was that he was doing.

We came to a darker area of the property where it almost instantaneously became dusk. There were large dark, rough wooden remnants of barn/shed-like building frames around and the spirit seemed to be weaving in and out of them, strengthening Katie's curiosity and drive to follow, all the while strengthening my own discernment and desire to break Katie from her tranz. I kept telling Katie that I didn't want to follow anymore and that is was a bad idea. "But she's so beautiful. She's so lovely. I want to see her," Katie continued her pursuit. The spirit then spoke in a riddle, alluding where she next desired Katie to go and then appeared much farther down a path that led up toward an old house-like building on our property. "School!" Katie yelled out discovering the answer to the riddle and immediately ran off toward the spirit. "Wait, Katie! Wait!" I struggled to catch up to her. I found her out by the barn looking through an array of old school desks. I immediately knew what she was doing; she was looking for a desk that she could bring with her. I too looked for a desk because at this point I knew the spirit was bad, but I did not want Katie to go by herself and who knows what could have happened to her. If I were there, at least I might have a chance of breaking her out of the situation. In fact, that was what I was relying on.

Katie found her pick of desk and ran off. I found a desk that was not too heavy and appeared to be the best choice for me and grabbed it from the long, overgrown grass. I ran to the building that Katie had now begun to enter. When I got in, the room was lit by the sunlight coming through the windows. I spotted Katie, but the scene began to unfold as I placed my desk catty-corner to Katie's desk. In fact, there was a row of desks lining one wall of the small, closet-dimensioned room and then a teacher's desk facing the row of desks, but in the corner of the room. Due to the fact that the room was so small and rectangular, the teacher's desk was quite close to the students, in fact, some students desks overlapped the teacher's desk. But this was no problem because, you see, I then realized that every child, excluding me and Katie, was a spirit. Each spirit found its body to be very doll-like, turning their heads/arms very stiffly. I was quite sure that if someone had not set them up in their places, they would surely have fallen over. On the teacher's desk sat a large, yet strong, male spirit who watched the class. I knew instantaneously that this was the teacher. The lady spirit, who Katie had been following, stood up by the teacher's desk, all the while keeping her focus on Katie as Katie feverishly wrote. This "lady" watched Katie with hungry eyes. When I entered the room, I immediately positioned my desk (somewhat in the middle of the room, but catty-corner to Katie's) and immediately began taking the test that everyone appeared to be so feverishly taking. The spirits both viewed me, but the lady spirit quickly refocused her attention on Katie, while the teacher continued to watch me. I looked through my paper (as if it wasn't even there), not caring what the test was, but drawing a mental image of the room; planning our escape. I tried to make the teacher believe that I was testing, but my eyes kept shifting from Katie to the lady spirit. The hunger in the spirit's eyes drove chills down my spine and I knew that if we did not escape when Katie finished her test, we would be in serious trouble. It's no longer a game, Katie; we have to get out of here. This is not right. I thought.

Katie finished her test and handed it to the lady, who then handed it to the teacher, I got up to bring my scribble-scrabble test to the teacher. On the way to the front, I spoke to Katie through the corner of my mouth; "We have to go Katie. We have to go." I tried to remain focused forward, hoping not to draw attention to my warning for our escape. The lady spirit, seeing Katie's subtle distraughtness, turned to me; identifying me as the source. Katie did not want to go, but knew she must. The spirit starred at me coldly, angered by my causal of Katie's distress. Then, all at once, the spirit burned with rage. I dropped my paper, grabbed Katie from her desk and threw my desk behind us as we ran for the door. The lady spirit shrieked in a horrifying shriek of mixed fury and terror. I shoved Katie ahead of me, as I got closer to the door; knowing that once we got outside of our confinement we would have a better chance at outrunning the spirit. Katie got through the door and I nearly got through when the lady spirit appeared before me. Katie ran, but was caught by the teacher and as I tried to run by the lady spirit, she grabbed my ankle. I tripped and fell on my face. I remember as I fell keeping my eyes on Katie. I had to get Katie free. I wanted to make sure nothing happened to Katie. "Caleb!!!" A scream arose in my throat. "Caleb!!!!" I screamed with everything I had. "CALEB!!!!" My voice hit high decibels and seemed to stun the spirits for a short second. Then the lady spirit fought more violently to silence me. "CALEB!!!!!!!!!!!" My final scream of horror and desperation arose. Sure enough, Caleb jumped out of nowhere onto the teacher, who was attempting to contain Katie. The spirits at this point became fleshly, though still the same spirits, but were able to be touched. I grabbed the arm of the lady spirit and turned it around behind her back. I heard her bones crack as I continued to twist her arm. The spirit screamed out in pain and struggled defenselessly, now on her knees on the ground. I remember seeing her collarbone muscles rip from beneath her skin as I twisted her arm and watched Caleb and Katie struggle with the teacher. I knew, instantaneously that we would be free soon. And then I woke up.

I grabbed at my muscle that stretched over my collarbone. Right by my shoulder, the muscle ached. I rolled over, putting pressure on it to relieve some pain. I think I fell back asleep. When my alarm went off, the pain was gone.


It's still kind of sore, though, as I type this.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Press On

You know, it’s really hard to wait. Lately I’ve been seeing some examples of women who are tired of waiting. Yeah, we can take that sentence as far as the aspect of choosing to have sex before marriage, but that is not the full intent of my previous words. In looking about I am seeing women who are just plain tired of waiting for God’s will. There are women who are tired of trying to uphold His standard in their lives. And there are women who are tired of feeling incomplete. They’re just plain tired. And so in their lives they are selling themselves short, whether through sex, or needing a boyfriend, or even homosexuality. See, in all these situations, women are seeking for completion. The media really helps fuel the inbred need for completion. How many movies out there depict a woman “lost without her beloved”? And the thing that kills me are the “Christian” videos that show the same “helpless”, incomplete, searching, lost woman who inevitably finds her phenomenal love-life (whether it's prior to marriage or not) and picturesque lifestyle in her cookie-cutter house with her gorgeous husband who supplies her every emotional and physical need. What is that? Slowly those who are seeking His standard in their lives fall victim to the repetition of the worldly messages. Don't listen to the lies, women of God. Please, don't listen.

I cannot run the race for you. I am struggling to keep my own head afloat in the suffocating waves of destructive messages that this generation seems to be promoting.

But women who are truly running after God’s heart,
Women who are seeking His kingdom and not this fleeting one,
Women who are staking their foundation upon our Completer,

Women… press on! Press on sisters and help each other press on!
Please, whatever you do, just remember… Jesus is so worth it!!!



Jesus is worth it.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

O Come All Ye Faithful


"O come, all ye faithful...
joyful and triumphant..."

Celine Dion's voice came to my ears.
And a smile flooded my face.
Tonight I was just sitting here listening to Celine Dion, grateful and joyfully enjoying my "night off". How nice it is to do absolutely nothing for a change. =)
Celine Dion sang her usual love songs, flailing her gorgeous voice into the silent night air. And I hummed along and fake sung where I felt it appropraite. =)
And then all at once...

"O come, all ye faithful...
joyful and triumphant..."
goose bumps.
Christmas is fast approaching. I absolutely love this time of year. Not the shopping craze, or the santas on every street corner, or the gift exchanges.
No, none of that... not for that reason.
See, it's in this season that I get to sit back and reflect on the amazing glory of our Lord first coming to this earth. Can you imagine Mary's face when she saw God's Promise placed in her own arms? Joseph? The Angels? The shepherds? What joy, what amazement and what utter awe must have struck everyone, every living thing to see that little babe.
I can't wait for Christmas.
That's my Savior! That's Christ the Lord!

"O come, let us adore Him,
O come, let us adore Him,
O COME LET US ADORE HIM
CHRIST THE LORD!!!"

Friday, November 11, 2005

Bleep


5:45AM and I rolled over. My, my, what a sleep. 5 hours is not enough for anyone to run on. Franklin's filter made it's normal filter noises and shot out the jetstream at a few rock which clanked noisily in his tank. Great. Shhhh, I though, The noise will magically vanish without me having to get up to fix it. Go back to sleep, I tried to convince my head. Shhh, go back to sleep.
I managed to tune out the filter (well, kinda) but I worked hard at ignoring it at least. I rolled back over at 6AM.
I have to get up anyway. I grumbled in my head. No, wait... what day is it? Saturday. So that means I can sleep in til 7AM cause I don't have to work til 8AM. Yay. I thought. [Now granted, it's not Saturday, but honestly... first thing in the morning... It was good that I remembered I was working.]
Bleep. What is that? Bleep.
Shh, go away. just one more hour.
Bleep.
Please?
Bleep.
Come on, please? I don't get enough sleep as it is and I'm really trying to.
Bleep.
Is it a fire drill? My thoughts immediately flew to 4:30AM firedrills at UT all during exam week because people were just plain mean and thought pranks were funny.
Bleep.
Man! I realized it was my smoke detector that they "supposably" came in to change the battery on two weeks ago. And sure enough, the battery was dying. AKA, they didn't change the battery.
Bleep.
What time does maintenance get in?
Bleep.
9?
Bleep.
Man!!! I got up. I just can't ever get a good night's sleep can I?
Bleep.
=/ ...thanks... =/

(sigh) Day #47809485 without a good night's sleep. Here we go!

I shook it off.

It's all good... (bounces around in a Rocky fighting stanz) I got this!

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Study of Quality Text

Oh how mine heart longeth for the days of yore,
Blissful, youthful, joyous hour spent with thee, dearest "Study-of-quality-text".
Hours, days passeth whilst in thine midst.
Thine captivating lyric accenting thine smooth, gentle leaf.
Thou art, dare say, fascinating?
Delightful?
Nay, mine eloquence fails to expound thine true beauty.
Thou art IRRESISTIBLE!
But alas, I must resist thee whilst exercising the prospect of achieving satisfactory caliber in universital, though institutional, standing.
Alas, woe is me, for mine heart belongs to thee, dearest "Study-of-quality-text".
Soon I shall return to thee, fully embracing the joy of thine comfort and companionship.
Forget me not. Forget me not, dearest.
My leave shall be brief, for mine genius (HA!) be beseemed to another.
Yeah, it bring much sadness to disclose the name of the other that consumeth mine furlough.
But thine truth requireth such a name from mine lips.
Alas, mine hated,
mine torturer,
mine disputant defiler bare the name;
"Study-of-NON-quality-text".
Woe, mine heart cries in shame!
Forgive me. Pity my dishonor.
Pity mine humiliation of the very devotion I pledged thee, "Study-of-quality-text".
Thou art mine only true object of affection.
I shall return to thee posthaste.
Alright, alright... I better get back to studying for exams.
Enough messing around.
- Bummer -

Monday, November 07, 2005

Mailed Mystery and Awe


As usual, I grabbed the mail on the way into my apartment. I sorted through the mail at the mailboxes in front of my apartment, trying to find anything with my name on it. I got a bit disappointed when nothing but ads read "Monica Elvy". Inside, I headed straight for the "coffee table" and sorted out the mail into 3 piles for my roommates. That's when I found the envelope. "Monica Elvy" read the square sunflower envelope. "Ohh, who's it from?" I looked for a return address, but there was none.
Inside my room, I opened the envelope to find a traveler's check with $100 addressed to me. "What?" I was confused. "Why would anyone send me $100?" Then my mind reverted to the mysterious $400 that had turned up in my mailbox last year with my name on the envelope. I flipped the envelope back over to discover that the address was written in the exact same way that the previous envelope had been written. See, you'd think an address would we written the same, regardless of the sender, but this case is not true. My address, when I give it to people, is not written in the same way as these two envelopes.
I stood there, staring blankly at the envelope. Then I discovered, unlike the last envelope, this one contained a letter inside. The letter contains the following;
Monica
You are an inspiration to me and to many others. Thank you for loving God and people. He loves you, and I know He will use you to do awesome things. Life can be so exciting! It can also be hard, so please use this gift to ease some of that and know you are loved and lifted up.
- heart -

No words came.
- Awe, pure awe. -
Soli Deo Gloria.

Ucky


I feel ucky today.

ucky. ucky...



ucky.


But I can't afford a sick day.
Have to work. Have to school. Have to homework.
Can't stop. Go, go, go.

Friday, November 04, 2005

Want One







I want one.

A Hobbie

[The last box says, "The secret to enjoying your job
is to have a hobbie that's even worse."]


Ahhh... so that's what I'm lacking.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Chaos at it's Finest.

So I would like to begin with a general explanation fo the "situation". Due to the fact that I have taken a plethera of classes at WSU and UT alike, the University College 'kindly' informed me yesterday in a letter that I was being denied financial aid starting next quarter if I did not declare a major.

Today marked the application deadline day for the Social Work department. [AKA, University College, I'M TRYING!]

So last night when I recieved the letter and was struggling to figure out all the details that I seemed to be uninformed about, that officially marked Monica's 1st breakdown of the quarter. [Oddly enough, I really didn't think my first breakdown would come from my major, but then again... breakdowns don't really tend to warn you about their arrival.] Despite being locked off ROX (my access to register for my classes for next quarter) and despite slim chances that I will be able to meet the requirements that will allow me to be accepted to the Social wrok major because of the dwindling number of open seats left in my needed classes, I came to a
peaceful conclusion. And thanks to three wonderful friends, I made it through breakdown 1 with impeckable "delight".

I went to University College this morning to ask them, basically, to have patience and inform them of my current efforts toward the Social Work major. There I discovered that the advisor I have been seeing fo rthe past 2 years is not my official advisor [odd that that never came up in our meetings] and that my official advisor was not going to work with me at all. I was then handed a piece of paper and told that my options were either to continue to be in University College without a major and without financial aid or to find another major. My official advisor then told me that Sociology best fit my current stack of classes, so I should change my major to that and then work from there between the Social Work departments and the
Sociology department to transfer into the Social Work Major. [Confusing you? AMEN!]

So I signed the paper because without signing the paper I could not schedule for my social work classes for next quarter and I headed to the social work department.

Upon walking into the social work department I #1. turned in my application, #2. put my name on a waiting list to talk to the SW (Social Work) department chair, and #3. noticed that my current SW Professor was on the phone in her office. I decided it would be in my best interest to swing in and ask her if I could speak with her after class. I popped my head in after she hung up the phone.
"Hey!" She welcomed my familiar face.
"Hey. I was wondering if you might have any time after class today to talk with me? I mean, I'm sure you have a lot to do..."
"Of course," She cut me off, "I mean it's crazy around here, but sure, sure...what's it regarding?"
"Um," an unexpected lump arose in my throat, "so, I got a letter from the university that says I can't be a social work major and my financial aid is going to be cut next quarter if I..." I couldn't finish.
"Ok, well, let's see..." She spoke with concern. "I have an apointment at 10:30 [my watch read 10:26] but it should be fairly quick and my next apointment's not til 11 so do you have anything to do or can you hang around for a bit?" She openned a doorway of opportunity.
"Yeah, sure I can just hang here and study."
"Great." Came her response.

So breakdown #2 of the quarter occured in the hallway as I was going to get a drink of water in waiting for Dr. Baker's apointment to conclude. I guess the stress and the events of the morning caught up with me. But thanks to mom, I was able to walk back into the department with, granted, red eyes, but with a restored determination.

Despite the possibility of adding an additional year onto my graduation date, I left the Social Work Office with two people on my side; Dr. Baker, my Professor, and Dr. Brun the chair for the Department of Social Work [AKA, the Big Cheese of the SW department]. And I also left the office with one other thing; a piece of paper signing me into the closed SW 271 class.

There battle is far from over, but I am at peace that God is obviously handling this one.

~ Soli Deo Gloria. ~

A Leap of Faith


Ok, God. So here we go.
Today I turn in my Social Work application and hope to figure out this recent confusion with my credit status and requirement completion.
God, you are in control.
Hold my hand.
Ready or not... Here we go!

Monday, October 31, 2005

No Words. Capture.


There's no real words to describe my
thoughts and feelings today.
But this picture best captures them.