Open Eyes

It was something in the scrolling through the Bible School material, the constant planes, the play passports we were ordering for the kids, Daddy's old passport Rachael has been playing with, Daddy's new passport sitting on the counter, the missionaries and countless children on our missions wall, the adoption stories I have read and celebrated with as children from desperate situations in and out of the States have found their Jesus-loving forever families... something in it all brought a tear to my eyes.

This years VBS theme is "Amazing Adventures" and is airplane themed. Each year Matt, Mark and I tackle the sixth grade class. Usually by sixth grade VBS is no longer cool. The glamor and flare of VBS has become commonplace and the kids are coming because their parents are involved or their little siblings wanted to go. Matt, Mark and I try to take that opportunity to not focus on the cute- VBS, but instead we lean more on the side of "cooler" stuff. I have enjoyed the challenge of transforming a brightly-lit, plane Sunday school room into a basketball court in the Bronx, an outdoor Western Scene and various other "slightly on the edge" themes in VBS pasts. This year we're going "world travel" in our theme, erring on the side of transforming the room into an airport hanger with country flags hanging. We've erred on the dog tag, military, and world travel side of the cute airplane theme, choosing our symbol to be a bomber.

While I am one to believe that the Word does not speak void or does not need dressed up to speak, it is nice to pray over and try to break down barriers and allow the kids to be comfortable in their uncomfortable skins.

But all the airplanes and passports and luggage and country flags carry so much more today than they have in the years past.


Monday we drop Matt off with his Daddy at the airport with hugs and kisses. He and his Dad are going on a preview trip to Haiti in preparation of planning next year's first-ever youth mission trip out of the country. Matt's vaccinations, malaria medicine, and travel preparations have filled our household conversations for a few weeks now. This will be Matt's first trip out of the country and I am as certain as can be on this side of Heaven that it will not be his last.

Haiti has brought up so many conversations: adoption focus, world missions, our family's involvement in world missions, local missions, potential 3 year missions stints with our family, short-term missions, bringing the gospel to unreached people, who constitutes as unreached people, and so many more topics. God has really been using the past few years to open our hearts and our minds to the reality of His hand around the World. Isn't it funny how you can learn that God loves the whole world and God has the whole world in His hands, but as you allow God to breathe the Truth of that into your heart it's like the blinders come off?

Matt surprised me this past Christmas with a future trip to Jos, Nigeria, to visit and see firsthand the community for which I have been praying. The community that is displayed on our missions wall through a few pictures. The community that we track the time of with our "Nigeria clock." The children, the faces, the hearts.... needless to say it was overwhelming. I would never have anticipated seeing or meeting these people and have been content to just love them from across the ocean.

With God's timing and the reality of vaccinations, this trip has been postponed to next year. (Yellow fever does not have a pregnancy equivalent and dying, I'm hoping, is not on the agenda). While my heart looks forward to and longs for the adventure to visit such dear friends and the Nigerian people, I am so excited at the prospect of seeing the fruit of Will and Theresa's labor in the Lord as they begin to close out their 3 year mission stint, turning the work over to those that they have trained and invested in for three years: the Nigerians.

And then there's the heart for the world that God is opening inside of me as He reveals His heart for mankind - no matter how sinful. I am blessed to be in the shelter of His hand, for His full heart for His people is beyond me to comprehend. But He is such a good God that He would even dare to open my eyes to His compassion.

Missions adventure readings have flooded our household. Conversations about the nations and God's heart for the nations have saturated our dinner tables and family walks. Practical sacrifices and being useful to the Lord here and now has filled our planning in more ways than financial planning.

This all comes to mind upon thinking about passports, luggage and airplanes.

Something in it all brought a tear to my eyes.

It was the heart of God.

The heart of God.

"In Me" Lyrics

- Thankful.

Anticipating Everything BUT This...

A few days ago I posted our goodbye to a beloved friend. I wanted to update you all on the grieving process:

She appears to be over it. I'm not even sure if she needed a grieving process, honestly. She asked twice during nap the first day about her pacifier to which I told her "Paci's all gone. Paci's bye bye." And she altered her affection to her blanket and singing seahorse (who were previously a needed trio and now a needed duo). At night time (day 1) she didn't even mention it. The following day at nap time she asked about paci. I told her the same two lines I had recited the day before. She moved on. That night (day 2) - no issues. Yesterday (day 3) at nap she never mentioned the pacifier and yesterday at bed she asked one time with the same response to my answer.

Today (day 4) she didn't mention it at nap time.


That's it. My drama queen has been surprisingly undramatic about the whole process.

I had anticipated everything but this kind of a reaction.

Wow! That was easy! This ROCKS!

So it appears that the beloved friend is in the past with minimal eye batting and much moving forward.

As for blankey and seahorse? I couldn't care less if she sleeps with them for the rest of her life. They won't make her teeth rot out or delay her speech. And they are loved, snuggling friends who provide much comfort primarily at bedtime or on "waking up on the wrong side of the bed" mornings. Dude, we all need our comfort snuggling every once in a while. ;)



- Thanks, Jesus, for the evidence of her trusting that we'll provide what she needs.

The Least

While sitting on my porch swing during the girls afternoon nap, I was reading the Word. I read a bit about doing unto "the least of these" (Matt. 25:40) serving Jesus. I flipped on to the next passage in our daily Scripture Readings and read Philippians chapter 1. Paul spoke there of how his current situation was spreading the gospel.

I was just praying in my heart to use my home as a ministry when I looked up from the Bible to see a young teenager stumbling across the road, carrying a baby pumpkin seat. The afternoon sun had come out and the girl was obviously fatigued. My first thought was wishing I had a stroller to give her to help her with her load. But then thinking of how God has not given us so much to give out, I then thought what I had.

I walked over to the road and offered her a drink, in which she gladly came. Asking her about her baby, she offered that she was 3 months old. I came out of the house with a drink and peaked in on the little one. A huge smile came from the baby that melted my heart. I instantly thought how the child had no control over the situation and my heart immediately thought of the many, many children needing adoption from situations far worse.

The young mother asked me for a phone. When I came out from the house with our phone, she proceeded to call someone nearby and explain that she believed she was miscarrying, had been refused help from someone she knew and saw up the street, and needed someone to watch the baby while she went to the hospital. The person on the phone offered their help to watch the child and the conversation ended. I offered the mother a few female supplies to help and then she walked on with a bit more energy in her step.

I was stuck at the house with two sleeping little ones otherwise I would have happily driven her to her destination. But I am so amazed how the Lord opened an opportunity literally from my front porch to serve someone in their need. And how that precious baby's smile is burned into my mind.

I hope and pray the Lord NEVER stops bringing people by our house.

God blows me away!

Ministry is all around us.

All we need is willing hands. 







- To the least of these, my Jesus.


*** Please hear my heart that I am not trying to brag and bring glory to myself in this post. Instead, I just wanted to share the goodness of our God to use open and willing hands. Many times I have far from open and willing hands, but this time was different and God just blew me away.

Learning Lately

It's days like today that I just feel so blessed to be a part of this family God has given me. There was nothing special today, nothing out of the ordinary. Just a regular day. But it's amazing how different the day can feel through eternal eyes.

Gratitude. It's been something my dear friend, Theresa, and I have been trying to incorporate more of in our everyday lives. And I could not stress more how our everyday lives differ. She's in the dry season Nigerian desert, me in the cool Ohio Spring. She's in the "foreign world" and I'm on the "homefront". But we share some common things too. She's on the mission field (3 year missionary with her husband to Nigeria) and so am I (serving in the States and through prayer and finances). Do I long to walk the dusty streets of Nigeria some day? - oh how my heart longs. But I do not long so for my ministry there to begin that it discredits my ministry here.

I think there is a danger in Christians viewing ministry in the extremes. We are truly ministering to God if we are full-time on staff at a church or "on foreign soil". This is not to discredit either of those positions. But could God possibly call us to be a martyr in our own house?

Luke 9:23 says, "And He was saying to them all, ' If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me." (emphasis mine). 

Sounds like daily martyrdom to me.

Matt guest preached at a nearby church Sunday from Ephesians 3:14-19. Wish you could have been there. Your heart would have been cheering and uplifted like mine. So amazing to sit there and just feel the exhortation from the Lord filling your heart and mind. It was like Jesus was saying, "be full, child, and run hard the race before you!"

Ephesians 3:14-19 goes like this [exactly like this to be specific ;) ] :
(Keep in mind that Paul is speaking to people that will later be martyred and harshly persecuted for their faith - the very people whose faith and deaths God will use to bring more to the faith)

"For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name (the Alpha and Omega), that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory (limitless, never-ending glory, people), to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love (key part), may be able to comprehend with all the saints (counted among the saints? those amazingly loyal ones sold out for Jesus) what is the breadth and length and height and depth (can you even imagine?), and to know (KNOW!) the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge (indescribable), that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God."
* (commentary clearly mine).

Can you even imagine that people? That we would be filled up to all the fullness of God. I can't even fathom that. I can't even grasp that concept in my mind. The fullness of God through joy, peace, love, hope, might.... His attributes are endlessly wonderful. And just like God through Matt explained, all we have to do is ask. It's not like God is unwilling to grant us things in line with His will. It's not like He wants us to walk through this life as mediocre believers. It's not like He's restraining his fullness from us. He is more than willing. He died in an ultimate display of willingness.


Gratitude! What more could we possibly be thankful for?

 When we look at our lives through God's eyes suddenly right where we are becomes our ministry. I am not waiting to do something for the Kingdom - today I can. Maybe my ministry is begging the Lord of the Harvest to send more laborers. Maybe my ministry is asking the Lord for His fire and His zeal and more of Jesus in me that more of Jesus would touch someone's life for His glory. Maybe my ministry is showing my children unconditional love and practicing self-control in Christ when they are living out their sin nature. Maybe my ministry is doing an extra load of dishes to serve my family and my husband.

The Lord has not forgotten us. The Lord has not mistakenly placed us "on layaway" until we can do something Kingdom worthy. He has given us an opportunity TODAY to deny ourselves, take up our cross (crucifying our flesh and walking in the spirit) and follow Jesus. When we follow Christ in speech, manner, the way we love others, the way we raise our kids, the way we open our homes and our lives to believers and non-believers, the way we set aside time to meditate on the Word and let it permeate the depths of our soul, we point to the Leader of our follow-the-leader-line. The Head. The very One worthy of all the praise, honor and glory.


Today, dear brothers and sisters, today "lift your eyes up to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, Maker of heaven and earth," , "seek first the Kingdom of Heaven and all else will be added to you," , "delight in the Lord your God," , "lean not on your own understanding," , "run the race, fight the good fight and keep the faith." For we can "do all things through Christ who strengthens" us. He is the "Author and Perfecter of our faith" and He's more than capable of winning every battle of flesh verses spirit in us throughout the day. For one day you will stand before His throne while the angels call out "Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord, God, Almighty" and oh so much your heart will beat to hear the words drip from His tongue, "Well done, good and faithful servant... enter into the joy of your Lord."

"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen." (Ephesians 3:20-21).

Goodbye, Beloved

This morning marked a huge step out of babyhood for my dearest Abi Grace. This morning after breakfast (don't mind our wild night time hair), we said goodbye to our beloved friend, Paci. We rounded up all the paci's in and around Abi's bed (the last remaining ones in the house since we weaned her back months ago from daytime paci use).

Rachael talked all about how big people don't use pacifiers and proceeded to list off a list of all the people we know that don't use pacifiers while we gathered up the friends.

Then we put them in a bag, Abi having a last suck of "the favorite" one.

And we paraded off to the closet where we stored them away. We purposefully put them into a closet that they are not stored in so we can recheck the closet in the moment of her distress and see that the paci's are truly gone. (I already pocketed them and moved them while no one was looking). During their nap time today, I'll take them down and thoroughly clean them before returning them to storage.

And while this morning she was smiling and saying "Bye, bye Paci. All gone Paci,"

I know that nap time and night time will come with grieving. So today we are putting on our sackcloth and ashes in memory of the dear friends and we will be grieving and providing many condolences throughout this process. Paci has been an emotional and trusted friend since Abi was only a week or so old. And today, at 21 months we have said our goodbyes.

After much thought I figured paci would be the best one to go first in the months of transition that lye ahead for dear Abi. Since Avocado will be joining us a few months post-Abi's two year old birthday, getting rid of the pacifier, changing to the big bed and potty training possibilities are all around that time frame. Since I know there will be much transition in adding another burrito to our mix, starting a transition slightly early will allow for a more natural transition that is not fueled by the new baby. Due to how Abi grieves, saying goodbye to paci while still contained in her crib is a better strategic move than unleashing the wild in a run-around-the-room-availability bed. At this rate Abi will be long past paci (3 months) before moving to the "big girl" bed at 2 years old. Then we'll see how potty training fits into the mix as is dictated by Abi's desire and readiness. I'm in no push to move her from diapers until she is ready, but paci, on the other hand, is only serving an emotional purpose (no longer fulfilling the physical teething need) and that emotional attachment will only get stronger with time. Thus, paci has "moved out" and we will grieve his departing until the new normal kicks in. 

And yes, all you Moms out there, cry with me because my baby's growing up. ;)

Well done, Abi baby, you are and will brave this adventure well. We're here for you, Abi, in this transition.  And we'll all be sure to nap together after the first potentially rough night. ;)

- Hopeful and Proud.

Snail Mail Arrival

Well, after needing to return the cloth diapers we had recently borrowed from my sister in law, we invested in our own "full" set. Unfortunately with timing of needing to return them, I ended up anxiously awaiting our pocket diapers' travel to the States from China, reminded nearly daily as I washed the dwindled stash we had remaining post returning my sister in law's diapers.

So, needless to say, I was THRILLED when I was able to get these beauties in the mail and thus mark the end of my constant washing of cloth diapers. It's so wonderful to be back into the routine of washing every 2-3 days and just grabbing a diaper without needing to track down pieces and assemble them from the dryer.

While the USPS failed my expectations on many accounts (long story), I was delighted when I could FINALLY pick up my "where it was supposed to be when it was supposed to be" package and get these lovelies washed and ready. Now while the package wasn't exactly a beauty in itself (HA!)

 the contents were. =)

It was fun to "ooh" and "ahh" with the family as we enjoyed the diaper display post opening the package. We all identified our favorites, Abi's being "diaper", and then they were whisked away to the wash and boiling pot (I boil my inserts instead of washing for 10 times to get the max absorbency without the exhausting amount of time and effort). So without further delay, I give you.... our blessed new friends:

*** Not pictured are a second light blue with white polka dots and an all black with white snaps. These are not pictured due to either being in dispose or having been in dispose. ;)

I stuck with "gender neutrals" with only one specifically "girly" one (couldn't resist) that can be used as a nighttime sleeping diaper should avocado be a boy. The white one in the first picture is clovers and an occasional darker green heart. I still think a boy can get away wearing this one since the clover leaves are shaped like hearts, but not overly girly. Rachael's favorite was every other diaper I pulled out (she likes the flowers/red butterflies on green background, the animal shapes on creme background, the teddy bears, the stars, and the hearts). Matt's favorite is the Teddy bear one, in which he stated I should have gotten more of those and let him pick some out too - my bad! And I like the hearts one, flowers/red butterflies, blue with white polka dots, blue circle outlines with green circle centers, the stars, the yellow/green diamonds on the blue background.... the teddy bears.... yeah, I picked them all out so I like them all. While this stash could be considered a bit boyish upon just looking at the blues, I steered clear of cars, soccer balls, etc, that tend to scream boy and steered clear of pinks and violets that were distinctly girl. To me, blues can go either way and I didn't want out stash to just be ugly neutrals, one-colored or all green and yellow. So I think it's quite cute. =) I may along the way add a few more diapers to our stash (only a few) especially once we find out avocado's gender. But really, we don't know what our family is going to look like in the future and I try not to be a pack-rat of "maybe we can use this in the future" items. So I am trying to keep our diaper stash usable and not too big (since washing past every 3 days starts to leave bad stains, can ruin your diapers due to oogies being left in there, and smells like a dead animal. All good reasons to have no more than 25-35 diapers in a stash. =D

[We do have 2 other pocket diapers not pictured that I got (1) or fixed from my sister in law and then got to keep (1) that are used for night diapers since they do not have hip snaps (best fit on Abi). They are white (1) and black/white diamonds (1). Then the remaining stash is 10 prefolds and 3 covers. That makes our total 24 diapers.]


So there you have it, the newest additions to our team. I couldn't be more proud. =) They represent freedom from daily diaper washings. =D


FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Ok, I promise I'm done......

....promise. hehe.

- Thanks for sharing in my joy.

For the Sparrows

Last week while the girls napped I decided to break out some old recyclables and make a bird feeder to hang on the front "mini" tree. I enjoyed hearing the birds outside the window, announcing their Spring affairs, when waking earlier in the week and thought I would encourage their return.

It was nice to reflect on God caring for the sparrows (Luke 12:6-7) being a reminder for us never to worry because He will care for us so much more. I grabbed an old marshmallow fluff jar (not a common item in our household, but left over from a youth event much to the delight of two little girls to enjoy in lunchtime sandwiches), Popsicle sticks from the dollar store, Elmer's glue, and some colored paper clips. And out popped this lovely creation.

- Grateful for the moment of "rest" found in creating.

- For the sparrows.

Costly Diapering?

**** Warning: This post has potentially too much information for the non-cloth-diaper enjoying crowd. For those who would like to read and learn, I have included this post. For those who couldn't care less, you will be bored and potentially overwhelmed so feel free to find another time filler for today. ;)



So since I'm a borderline dork when it comes to frugality and practicality, I decided to do some math today while my diapers dried. Now, I don't claim to be a math major (HA!) but I can add and subtract with use of a calculator. ;)

Back in December we decided to give cloth diapers a try. Abi's little bum had had enough of disposables and the diaper rash thereof so we decided to stop spending so much in diaper rash cremes and making poor Abi suffer and instead to try my sister in law's, at the time, vacant stash of cloth diapers. Now we are well aware that the ability to try out and then decided what kind of cloth diapers fits your family best cuts the initial cloth diapering cost down HUGELY, but I also found in my research a few offers to try cloth diapering for a $25 deposit for a month to come to a similar family decision on likes/dislikes and practicality.

---------------------------
Let me take a break to define helpful vocabulary in the following posts: We use a pocket diaper for nighttime, nap time and Daddy's favorite/babysitter needs. A pocket diaper has 1-2 inserts (depending on age of child/volume of pee) that slide into the pocket and do not require a separate cover to be worn in the diaper. A pocket diaper looks and functions like a disposable diaper and, thus, is most appreciated by the disposable-diaper-friendly world. A pocket diaper requires the insert to be removed prior to washing and the insert to be dried in the dryer whereas the shell can be line-dried. A pocket diaper is considered a "premium" diaper and usually ranges around $15-$20 new from in the U.S., $5 new from out of the U.S. and $5 used inside the U.S. for a quality pocket diaper that will last for multiple kids. A pocket diaper can come size-specific or one-size to snap down for newborn through toddler (potty training) size. We prefer the one-size method since it is the most economical. And we also prefer a pocket diaper with an additional hip snap (second single snap on the diaper flap) to adjust leg size and make for a better fit. Pocket diapers also come in snap or velcro for the top diaper attachment around the hips. We prefer snap closure on the pocket diapers since Abi has quickly figured out how to unvelcro (probably not a word, but whatever) pocket diapers at night/nap (eeek!). We have 14 one-size pocket diapers. This is a one-size pocket diaper:

A prefold is a classic cloth diaper which requires pins or a snappi (substitution for pins) to hold the diaper in it's shape around the baby. You can reuse snappies with diaper changes. We have 2 snappies. 

 A prefold can be folded in many different ways to specialize the shape, fit and needs of the baby (ex. different folds can be used for boys vs. girls, heavy wetters vs. normal wetters, and pooping vs. non-pooping). A prefold requires a cover or else the baby will wet their clothing or your carpet. A prefold can come in different sizes (newborn, infant, toddler, large toddler), but can be as simple as just 2 sizes: infant (7-15lbs) and toddler (16-30lbs). We have 10 toddler-sized prefolds. This is a prefold:

A cover is only needed for a prefold and can come size-specific or in a one-size. We prefer the one-size. The top closure system comes in snap or velro. We prefer velcro due to a better fit in varying hip sizes and Abi being too busy in the daytime to unvelcro her cover. We have two one-sized covers and one large cover. This is a one-size cover that can be snapped down to baby's size for newborn through toddler:

So our total diaper count for our stash is 24 diapers (pockets and prefolds/snappies/covers) which gets us 2 days worth of diapering and a few left overs while I wash diapers.

--------------------


Okay.... now back to the one-sided conversation:

To me, cloth diapering is less an environmental issue (though it does have wonderful perks) and more of a cost-effective, practical and reality issue. If you cannot put forth money up front, cloth diapering may not be for you. If you cannot keep up with your current loads of laundry and have no desire to, cloth diapering may not be for you. If you hate handling poops and pees, cloth diapering may not be for you (because poops and pees that have sit for even 24 hours in wait for the laundry are smelly business - though you don't have to stink balm the house).

So with the grace of Matt's "we can try it" encouragement, we stepped into the unknown of cloth diapering. Abi's rash immediately disappeared, though my sensitive skinned baby still has rash bouts when she passes a silent poop and does not inform us until we find it an hour later. Any kid sitting in poop with sensitive skin will rash. And Abi's a unique skinned baby. Diaper rash for us disappears w/o creme in 24 hours with cloth diaper airing and more frequent changes [10-12 vs 8] until rash is gone. With disposable diapers Abi had a blistering rash for 1 to 2 weeks with continual diaper rash creme application.

It took us a month to get it together - wish I would have researched "things I would have loved to know then that I know now" topics about cloth diapering and I could have avoided our figuring out soap to diaper quantity, laundering guessing, and some general "how to"s. The reality of cloth diapering, though, is that you need to know what you want (ex. how frequently do I want to change a diaper and how realistic is my want?) and what you can tolerate (ex. how often do I want to wash my diapers and be tied to the whole laundering process?) and then look for the diapers and stash that best fits that need.

Some things are trial and error, especially if you have a heavy wetter. So it's nice to have a starter kit or borrow some diapers from a friend who has different kinds. Or buy small amounts (1-2) of different kinds of second-hand diapers to figure out what works well for you. I would not suggest investing solely in one type of diaper, especially if you've never used that diaper before. I bought many second-hand diapers from a lady who did just that and have seen many posts from likewise sellers.

So I sat down to do the math today, like I was saying earlier, and came up with these numbers from buying off-brand disposable wipes and Huggies snug and dry (basic line of diaper) diapers (since that was the only diaper that was least rashy on Abi and produced the greatest bang-for-your-buck coupons).

*** Matt caught my math error in wipes calculations and I have adjusted the costs due to my error. ***

Wipes per month cost us approximately $18.00 (1 box of 556 count is $12.00 cheapest we have found). This doesn't seem too bad and costs a total of $216.00 per year. That's presuming you are wiping only one child, using a box (556+ count) and a half of wipes per month (which is what we were using when adding in boogey-nose wipes and restaurant-table wipes, etc).

Diapers per month cost us $51.38 presuming we could find some coupons and buy the largest sized box of 156 diapers (or buy the smaller boxes with more coupons = more money savings). That's a total of $616.50 a year and I'm not adding in the up to $8/6 oz bottle of diaper rash creme that can be added on the top to the diapering cost.

Total wipes and diaper costs are $832.50 a year for one child (if you don't have to buy diaper rash cremes at all).


Now, our initial diaper stash we have put at most to total $175 between diapers, inserts, laundry soap ($5 every 3 months - you only use a TBSP per load), homemade wipes solution (I just found it more practical and cost effective to cut up and sew together old receiving blankets and wipe Abi with that in a solution of baby oil, lotion and baby wash which I can throw into the wet/dry bag and wash with my diapers vs finding a separate trash can for just the wipe and not knowing if the wipe is causing a diaper rash or not for sensitive skinned baby), clothes line/clothespins (used previously owned white string-stuff and $1 for 50 clothespins), wet/dry bag (transports diapers home when out - you could use a plastic grocery bag, but we prefer an odor-shut-out bag that is washable), trashcan liner (for trash can when diapers are waiting for wash day), $2 trash can from thrift store, second-hand diapers/diaper covers, and I don't think I forgot anything else in the equation. I can only count $150 that we've spent thus far, but I'll add it all up to $175 to be generous and realistic (since my memory's not 110%).

The ongoing cloth diapering cost is $5 per 3 months of Purex Free and Clear detergent (the cheapest cloth diaper safe detergent) so that equals $20 per year in detergent alone. Then there is the monthly cost of $4.92 ($1.64 per bottle for off-brand baby safe baby wash, baby oil and baby lotion to make wipes solution)  that we choose to make to use cloth wipes so that's $59.04 per year for wipes. ***You could just use water instead of a cloth diaper solution with wipes, but we choose to spoil our little Abi (and future little ones) with a whopping &59.04 per year. I know, I know... we're really luxurious over here. ;)
So that's a total of $79.01 to cloth diaper a child per year.

So this year alone we will have saved $578.49 for diapering Abi.


Now, due to the age breakdown of our kids and the little one on the way, Abi could still be using her toddler diapers when peanut 3 comes to join our family. Since we bought all-in-one diapers to save on cost (even if peanut's trousers are a little bulky initially) we can use many of the same diapers since our stash allows for 14 diapers a day with me washing diapers every 2 days and Abi only uses 8. Since a newbie uses at least 14/day and will not fit into Abi's toddler-sized prefolds, we will be looking at adding an additional $50 to the total spent on the whole cloth diapering project. Since $50 is what we spent per month on disposable diapers, a one-time $50 investment is looking nice. Abi will also be out of her toddler prefolds when baby needs them so we'll not need to double anything else in our stash. And my guess of $50 is a bit high since most entire stashes of newborn/infant prefolds are being sold for $20 secondhand. But I am also taking into consideration that the diaper covers Abi wears cannot also be worn at the same time as newborn so we'll need to invest in a few more covers to get the job done. While a few more covers will not get us to $30 I am taking into consideration that I may need to add a few more wipes to our stash ($0.50 at the thrift store for a receiving blanket that makes 7-8 wipes) and making some potty training pants could be helpful for Abi in the future though not necessary.

Adding that $50 to the ongoing cost to cloth diaper a child (x 0.5 because it is cheaper to buy in bulk and Abi will not be diapered for the full year) would make $168.52 for the year.

So that'll make our next year savings at $663.98 to diaper 2 children (one newborn to 1 year and one in late toddlerhood).

The following year (kid 3 age 1-2) we'll save $753.49.

So that'll put our total savings over 3 years to be $1,995.96.

Does time, labor and effort play into the cost? Certainly! I'm not going to pretend like the laundry is not an extra effort. I am doing one extra load of laundry every two days. It does take time - a cycle and a half in the washer and a full two-three cycles in the dryer for the inserts/wipes (the night inserts take the longest to dry) plus a half hour of drying outside on the line for the diaper covers/shells or over the night for the covers/shells or 40 minutes in the dryer on low heat. It does take me at least 4 hours from start to fold to wash/dry my diapers. It takes time. It takes effort and work.

And so does my other laundry. And the house chores. And investing in the kids. And homeschooling.

Cloth diapering is not for everyone. It is work. It costs up front. And it can be time consuming and frustrating until you figure out what works for everyone who'll be diapering the child or children. Matt has preferences in the cloth diapering world, and I do my best to cater to them because I want him to change baby's diapers too. ;) And he has also been very gracious and flexible in learning what is best for our daughter. I am grateful because not only can I do the math of savings as a result of cloth diapering, but I can also provide the best for Abi, and lil apple-sized invader (we don't know gender yet).

There is much to think about in the world of cloth diapering, but the numbers do add up nicely in your favor.  But for us, cloth diapering is a helpful, realistic, practical, and cost-effective method to provide the best diapering options for our family. Also has the unexpected added bonus of helping me keep up on the other laundry too. ;)

Outside!

We have spent some good time outside over the past few days enjoying the beautiful weather and soaking in the joys of

being barefoot outdoors (Mommy's favorite).

Yesterday we made recycled milk jug bird feeders. Rachael picked brown for the paint color, which initially I thought to be kinda ugly, but shrugged and pulled it out. Post-project I think it cute because our milk jugs look like they're filled with chocolate milk. =) We also used colored paperclips for the "string."

With proper supervision,

We took our painting joys outdoors to the plastic picnic table I got for $2 at a garage sale last year. Old shirts made nice paint smocks.

Little one needed a hair tie to keep from tripping. =)

Then I handed them the paint brushes (strategically picking a smaller brush for the little one) and gave them one rule, "Paint the inside, not the outside." Look at the concentration.

"Inside, not outside," was the preschooler and toddler chant for the first five minutes of painting.

We used non-toxic and washable paint on the inside so should some rain water get in, we won't kill the very Snow White friends we were intending to feed. I had an image of bird carcasses littering the yard and the cats losing all control and felt assured in my paint selection. =)

And also this was the reason I used washable, non-toxic paint.

They seemed to highly enjoy the project.

And they did a great job keeping the paint inside the milk jugs, with only a few splotches on skin and table.

Later we found some time to do sidewalk chalk before the late morning rain clouds approached.

Fill and dump mischief.

I just love being a part of their little thinking world.

And I was again reminded that she has become a little girl.

And while she may be getting huge... she's still my baby.

- Great times had by all.

The Fall.

All parents have been there, it's the terror of the fall. That slow-motion fall that you know will result in bruising, scrapes, blood, head-banging, chin-banging, skidding, or other pains. It's that helpless moment when everything went wrong and no one can stop it. The look of chaos on your child's face as they feel completely out of control and helpless falling in mid air. The time in which you brace yourself and pray for the best, fearing the possibility of the worse. The fall. I'm not talking about the trip or the bump. I'm talking about the fall. The all-out fall that can only end in those sobs of pain or worse, that shriek of great pain.

I have found that the sinking feeling in your stomach doesn't change when witnessing falls at older ages. That kind of a fall results in the same unpredictable outcome whether you're a baby or a teenager, the first or the tenth kid. All parents should rightfully fear the fall.

Thinking about the fall, a few terrifying moments come to mind. A normal outing at the park, sitting around the picnic table with the cousins enjoying Popsicles. Abi was asleep in the stroller, she did that a lot at nearly four months and Rachael sat amongst a gaggle of cousins and her nearby her Daddy. I sat on the other side of the table with Abi and Uncle Ron when I saw it happen. Daddy was preoccupied and 21 month old Rachael fell backward, head-first off the picnic bench. For those of you who need a mental image, when you fall off a picnic bench your legs are the last things to dismount. Sure enough her head hit with a thump on the concrete, producing a bloodcurdling wail. I remember it like it was yesterday, being stuck on the wrong side of the picnic table to catch her. All I could do was pray for the best in that moment of terror. Watching her head bounce off the concrete didn't aid in my assurance. We scooped her up, Daddy and I both at the same time - both of our hearts in the pit of our stomachs. We watched her walk for the rest of the afternoon and kept a look out for signs of a concussion. She was fine. Just rightfully shaken up. And you had better believe over-protection came thereafter for the next hour.

Today, while drawing outside with chalk, Abi tripped over her own feet while nearly running resulting in a Superman dive to the sidewalk. I thanked the Lord on impact that her elbow broke her fall instead of her face. But her feet and arm took the skidding impact of her 20 month old body. Mommy was instantly needed and with some antiseptic creme and many kisses, Abi returned to normal in five minutes of heavy sobbing into Mommy's shirt. 

Or the time that Abi fell out of her booster seat, catching her chin on the table the way down. Her head bouncing backward in aftershock. My heart sank. Suddenly "you should have listened to Mommy" didn't matter. She needed comforted and I needed to know she still had a tongue attached properly. Comfort and time produced healing, leaving behind the battle scar of a red spot.


I wonder what God's face looked like as He saw Adam and Eve eat from the tree. I wonder if His heart sank to His stomach watching that slow-motion fall that He knew would result in bruising, scrapes, blood, head-banging, chin-banging, skidding, or other pains. It's that helpless moment when everything went wrong and His redeeming love knew it was better not to stop it, though His compassion wanted to.

Being a parent is teaching me so much about the restraint and the heart and the compassion and the self-control and the reckless running that the Father has for His kids.

Being a parent is teaching me more about God

and forcing me to run to His arms all the more.


- thankful, even in the scrapes.

Shorts, Sandals, Soap, and Seeds

Last night for pajamas I picked out none other than a pair of shorts. Now this is impressive on two levels. 1. The weather is warm enough for me to think this a good idea and 2. I'm was not freezing to death due to this pregnancy last night to even think about exposing my sun-needing legs.

For the past three pregnancies I have been a hot mess -literally, but for this one I'm cold. Take whatever housewife tales you want from that as to whether I am carrying a boy or a girl. ;)

Rachael has clearly voted for a girl, explaining a few times at random that Hannah (our girl choice name) is a really good name. I'm still not sure if she knows that her opinion will not create the gender of this baby.


In other news, our little red wagon has gotten much use amid the neighborhood walks. I had left it on the front porch after our first walk and thus been reminded about it since.

Yesterday it was so beautiful that we ditched the red wagon, due the distance we'd need to travel and the fact that if we bring the wagon then all 35lbs of a three year old feels the need to ride, and grabbed the stroller. Abi is still young enough that her legs give out at the end of the street. So instead of carrying the 26lb toddler on my hip, I thank the Lord for strollers and so does my back and arms.

After digging through the shoes box of hand-me-down shoes, I happily busted out a pair of little white (really off-white, but still lovable) sandals for my growing-footed toddler. Abi smiled as she wiggled her toes in the open air.

When Rachael asked for a pair of sandals as well, naturally, I was sad to not offer her the same excitement (Rachael LOVES getting clothes and shoes from the hand-me-down box ironically). So to the dollar store we headed. Oddly enough, our local dollar store has decent "throw away" shoes that are surprisingly well made. The sandals don't usually make it to the hand-me-down box, as well as the Chuck Taylor's (LOVE) do, but for $4, they have a great variety of styles and options. Rachael was thrilled to get to "pick out her own" shoes after I had weeded out the ones that would not fit with her wardrobe or the flip-flop between-the-toe ones that I knew she would highly dislike. So she picked these white ones with pink/purple butterflies (who would have thought) over the yellow/gray butterflied ones. I'm glad she picked them, they're cute.

And of course until they break (your feet) in, they produce this:

When we turned the corner of our block on the way home we saw much to our squeals of delight and running, DADDY WAS HOME!!! I love watching a three year old's reckless abandonment to hug her Daddy. "We just saw him at lunch," isn't going through her mind. She just adores him and Abi would have run too if she wouldn't have been caged in Mommy's favorite, a stroller. =) But Abi's kicking legs and flailing arms spoke volumes of her intentions.

Bubble play with Daddy was a necessity on such a beautiful afternoon. These pictures brought to you by Matt's photography skills. =)

Then two little ones delighted in standing on the back of the couch to watch Mommy refill the bird feeder. I watered just about everything but the bird feeder with small, weed-producing seeds. GREAT! But a successful bird feeder fill did eventually happen.

Dinner, nursery and youth group at church concluded our evening and produced a Mommy in pajamas of shorts tuckered out after a wonderful day.

Hope the weather finds you outside too. 

Adjusted Worldview

This morning a thought hit me. I was sitting in a half-filled bathtub to allow for Matt also to have hot water for his shower when he awoke. This alone is not blog-worthy, but the thoughts that God impressed upon my heart are blog-worthy.

It was in that moment that I realized most of the world doesn't take a hot bath in the mornings or have the luxury of a shower. Here I was silently cursing our less-productive hot-water heater and suddenly I felt very grateful for it. Many people bathe in ponds, lakes, rivers or lukewarm tubs/buckets of "family bath" reused water.

I thought about our semi-useless dishwasher as a glorified two-level drying wrack with new eyes. Suddenly I felt over-blessed to have dishes to hand wash and put away when so many eat from one community bowl with their hands.



Check out this book at your local library (once I return it) for more literal pictures: "Material World - a global family portrait" by Peter Menzel. It certainly will open your eyes to the reality outside of our country. 




 

This is not a blog to make you feel guilty or call us to flee our houses and live outside in our sheds to be more like the reality of the countries outside of the United States. But i have found that the more I look outside of the U.S. and the more I look to the reality of the majority of the population, not just the elite of wealthy countries, the more I am thankful to be so blessed by the Lord.

But we can't stop there - how are we using our blessing to lift up the Lord and spread Christ? Selfish gain is useless to the Kingdom!

So thank You, Lord, for the conviction and the correct worldview from the comforts of my pretty-warm bath water. Thank You, thank You, thank You, Lord. Now, Lord, please continue to open my eyes, my mind and my heart to how I can use the blessing to further Christ .... to the ends of the earth, Lord!



"Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen!
Show me how to love like You have loved me!!!
Break my heart for what breaks Yours!!!
Everything I am for You Kingdom's cause...

Hosanna in the HIGHEST!"

Spontaneous Picnic at Duck Pond

For those of you with a dry wit, no our little family did not roast up some ducks for a picnic. But this afternoon after our library nursery rhyme group we spontaneously headed to a local duck park to have a picnic out in the warm sun.

We enjoyed our sandwiches, peanut butter and marshmallow for two lucky little girls, and tuna for two nutrition-minded adults.

With crackers and raisins still in hand we headed over to the ducks with a bag of mildly stale breadcrumbs.

We had not anticipated the affect of warm weather causing other families to have visited the ducks previously. So Matt and Rachael had a mini adventure trying to lull the already-full fat waddlers over to Mommy and Abi's safe and comfortable bench. Abi, not enjoying the spontaneity of animals (they move too fast) warmed up to the idea of scattering bread a few inches from her feet after first starting the adventure in the safety and comfort of said bench. 

Rachael, fearless when her Daddy's there to protect her, had a great time emptying the bag and distributing handfuls of bread all over the sidewalk in an effort to get them in the pond water. With increased practice, her aim and ability provided more comfortable distances for the over-eating pleasures of our new winged friends. But due to their previous meals, interest was soon lost and we found ourselves quite obliviously still unloading our bread for future pond-life snacks.

Then came the park play, critical when any park is in view.

 Abi trying to figure out how to approach crossing a bouncy bridge. 

She eventually decided that walking was acceptable when clinging to Mommy's hand. Rachael also needed some reassuring when said bridge moved highly unpredictably and frighteningly.

The slide adventures were fun. 

As were the methods of getting to the slide: challenging and fun.

And then we headed over to the swings, upon Rachael's leadership decision. Check out the contrast in the responses to the swings below.

 Verses:

I would like to take this moment to inform you that we did not offer or enforce Abi riding the swing. Abi chose to get in the swing, a choice we always leave up to her without any persuading, because inevitably every time the above terrified face occurs and immediate rescuing is required. Abi DOES NOT like swingset swings. Not in the safety and comfort of our backyard, not at the park, not when everyone else is doing it. Abi and swingset swings are a BIG no-no. Yet I find it funny that she is in love with the concept of swinging, from afar the idea of swinging does look fun, but the actual event of swinging always ends up the same horrifying way. God love the little girl. That face just makes you want to reassure the poor thing that NEVER AGAIN will we ever let her convince herself that she might like swings. But alas, we let her steak her independence (provided that it isn't defiant or harmful) and then rescue her from her former drive when it turns to trauma.

So much fun had by all on our spontaneous picnic at the duck pond. Even a left-behind dinosaur friend enjoyed our company.

Enjoy the beautiful weather, all, and please... by all means, please don't roast up the local ducks. ;)