Tuesday, December 30, 2008

The Beginning

Last night's doctor's visit provided the following information:

  • I'm 1cm dilated (will need to get to 3-4cm before hospital admittance) - hey, progress is progress.
  • Doctor was concerned about my high blood pressure, which ironically went down during the visit (maybe sheer relief that the check was over), but asked me to come in on Friday to recheck before the weekend.
  • Doctor is concerned that baby is "a big baby" and has scheduled an ultrasound for Friday at 2:30p to verify size and birth-ability. - which means we'll get to find out for 'certain' baby's gender among other statistics about baby. And my biggo stomach is "all baby" according to the doctor which is crazy to think when you see my stomach.
  • There's a chance that pending upon blood pressure counts and "big baby" status we'll be having baby this weekend - after being admitted into the hospital upon the ultrasound. - But again, they may let me keep going if all is "normal for delivery."

And then again there's always the chance of having baby prior to Friday depending on how quickly I advance in dilation. So in other words, all this to say... the end is quite near. And we're all excited here. =)

Monday, December 29, 2008

What We've Weathered.

I got up this morning with intention of checking the weather report prior to popping into the shower. Our room felt a bit warm and I wanted to know if it was weather related or inferno within me related. Sat down at the computer, as usual, but this time the familiar pictures captured my 6am mind. I watched the honeymoon pictures interlocked with seasonal pictures, wedding pictures, California pictures, Cheddar pictures, and so many more memories. And a flood of joy filled me.

A few weeks ago Matt and I were out on a semi-routine walk. I was feeling whale-like and inactive, Matt finding joy in the joy I received from the walk (AKA he did not want to go, but went because it made me happy and therefore was happy because I was happy). We walked along sharing the day with each other and enjoying the random silences that we also shared with each other. Then Matt piped in, "So I've been thinking and I'd like for us to plan to go out to California. I want to meet your grandma and see the beach, and the church, and the places I've seen in the photos." Could he have said 'I love you' any stronger? His heart just poured out in a few thoughtful sentences. And I must confess, that really meant the world to me that he wanted to meet my family more. "We'll have to check where we are financially," he went on "but I'm thinking if we plan far enough out then we could bring the baby to go meet your Grandma."

Those words flew through my thoughts as I watched how far God has taken us. I was reminded of being nearly engaged to Matt during the last California trip. And the joy on our faces during the outside pictures after our 'I do's. We had no idea what we were getting into, and we still don't, but I've never been more sure of forever in my best friend's arms.

I can easily fall into a pattern of complaining and focusing on how much plans are not what I had imagined since I was a child regarding being a stay-at-home-mom instantly and all the other naive imaginings that will drift away as reality is born. And it's in those complaining and incontent times that I really need someone to holler, "Are you serious?! Look what you have!!!"
Selfishness is such an easy trend. "I want it all, I want it all, I want it all and I want it now," familiar commercial jingles about electronics and food come to mind. But God just caught me this morning before starting the normal routine of, "so this is life," and reminded me of the blessing.

I have never felt such joy in life as I feel today. Each day that passes is a new day to be married to my best friend. And I can honestly say that I love him more today than on our wedding day. I mean seriously, who else is going to be there to sing Celine Dion songs in the car like Jr. High protegees at the top of our lungs because we are both comfortable enough with each other that we can be silly in front of each other? Who else can help set me straight when I'm way out in left field? Who else pursues me because he wants to know me more? Who else is there to make royal mistakes with, cry with and then later laugh about the mistakes with? No, my sweet friends, Matt is not perfect - and neither am I. But I really can't put into words the absolute joy of being married to your best friend - morning breath and all. I am overjoyed with all that God has brought us - even the trials - and can't wait for the joys that God will bestow upon us in the future.

A co-worker asked me last week if Matt was my first love. "You know, I guess he is because he really defines love in the most real way I have ever experienced. I honestly can't say I experienced the depth of a true love prior to him." And the only way he can do so much and be so much to me is because of how hard he tries to be like Jesus. Because I know that Matt does not complete me, he's no where even close. But Jesus completes me and it's Christ in him that floors me as well. Matt compliments me far greater than anyone will even compliment me - after all one we have become and no man can separate that. Oh but you should see that man on fire for Jesus. Who could not want to be married to him?
-No wonder I'm head over heels for him. -

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Prepared

Silently we sat on the couch soaking in the Sunday football game when the familiar voice broke the silence, "Start having contractions. Let's get this baby."

- we're ready.-

Friday, December 26, 2008

16 Days in Counting

Welp friends. I have dropped. Not the ball. But the baby. Breathing a bit better today, which is nice because I haven't been able to experience the joys of dropping with this wonderful cold I've had for almost a week. The good thing is that the puking only lasted for one day (last Saturday), but I really have been missing my left nostril. It's nice that it's back for at least a visit today.

Christmas was wonderful. It was such a blessing to get to wake up at your own house and just stay there. That's right, my wonderful family came to us this year - in light of current circumstances. It was nice to get the early afternoon to just hang out with Mom and Dad. Jes and Nayt showed up around 3 and we ate at 4pm. Overall, it was a really relaxing day of no-shoes, dog petting and laughing. Such wonderful memories. "Everywhere you turn there's some kind of baby toy," mom commented as she happened upon the newest set of baby bathtub toys given us by a sweet lady at church. Tis true, friends, Matt and I are baby-ready. Matt said in the car on the way home from a quick visit to his family last night, "We're ready for the baby. Well, ready as not ready can be ready." He's got a point there. We're as ready as unready can be!

Got to hold John last night at the in-law's as I watched the family open the gifts from Matt and me. John was crying in Matt's arms. "John doesn't like me," he announced to the family. Matt handed him to me and he instantly calmed down. "That's not even fair!" said Matt. "He knows she's a mom," piped in Ellen to relieve Matt's conscience. I kinda felt bad. I didn't do anything he wasn't doing. John just got quiet for me. The poor little gass-y fellow was trying to "work it all out" last night. According to Ellen this is a daily occurrence for him. He and I enjoyed some good snuggle time on the couch. He's a good snuggler that sweet little one. It was nice to have a snuggle friend after a long, but good day. - Looking forward to meeting our little one. -

I'm just taking a quick break here at work so I better get back to things here. I get to make up my own hours for today as I finish paperwork. So far I'm one of one here at the building, but afterall it's 7:30am. I got here at 5:30am after waking up at 4:30am and feeling as rested as usual. I just headed on in with hopes of getting home around the time that Matt wakes up and just in time for lunch. With a quick after-lunch nap I'll be good for the rest of the day. I thought this sounded like a good alternative to taking a vacation day that I could have otherwise taken when our baby chooses to bless us with their in-arms presence.

Alrighty, so have a good morning friends and I'm back to the "grind" here at the dead, but productive office. - Oooo, signs of life are heard down the hallway. -

Monday, December 22, 2008

Carrying Forward to the Sides

You know, I just think it's a bit funny how angle is everything. For example, compare the 9 month picture to the Christmas ones. Those pictures were taken on the same day, but it looks like the nine months picture contains much more baby. Again, angle is everything. And no one can really describe what the angle's like looking downward at your own belly - especially as it forms differing shapes throughout the day. There's the hour-glass figure, the straight pointing out, the best described as looking like a "butt" figure, the lopping to one side figure, the rounded figure and then the side-to-side figure. And it's entertaining because sometimes I wonder if there are two in there by how much space appears to be occupied by two huge bumps. My brain gets baffled at what that second huge bump is when the doctors have declared the baby to be head-down for the past 3 weeks. Maybe it's knees all crushed in there. That could explain some painful ribbed experiences. But anyway, the shapes are fun. And despite the discomfort, I do have to say that the unpredictability of the belly angle is quite fun too. Today this shirt looks like it fits, but in 20 minutes it looks like I'm cramming myself into the very shirt I plan on dressing baby in upon delivery. - Anyway, just finding small joys in the midst of this otherwise trying last countdown.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

From the Three... er... Four of Us


A few Christmas shots ...

in front of our tree.

Dakota wanted some holiday cheer.

And let's not forget her favorite toy!

"Can you get her to sit in front of you?"
"Of course, but not facing the camera."

=)

A semi-Dakota -facing-the-camera pic.

Final Cut

Last one of these.
And this time with my Matt.
- 9 months prego.-

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Revolving

"Four weeks" to go friends. Today marks nine months. And n one week our little one could show up at any time and be considered full term. Kinda neat, huh?

Last night Matt and I played Mary and Joseph in the live nativity. Matt dressed in about everything he could find and freezing to death - me in two shirts and a couple pair of pants with no gloves and warm as usual. Sometimes the inferno within is beneficial.

Had lunch yesterday with a few old and one current co-worker. Kinda funny how that helps classify me as being old. The career-jobs are the ones where the co-workers do things outside of the office for the sake of having a social life. Outside of college social lives revolve around co-workers, churches and families. And to prove myself old I was the first to show up and the only one to show up unfashionably late. I was hungry. We don't mess around with the lunch times here. =)

Today marks another obedience training class - second to last - and soon the rush from service to dog social time will be complete. I think Matt and I both are ready for it to be done. Dakota's done well and we've been given tools that we can use. We've found some united lingo and learned some of the basics that we were messing up on. But really I think we've come to a point where we're not interested in having a dog-show trained dog and the classes are leaning a bit more toward refining skills that we find unnecessary for our daily lives with our doggie. We just wanted basic training and basic training helps. And those we have received. So now obedience training is becoming a bit more of an obligation than a help. But we only have two more weeks including today so we'll be good. Never thought 8 weeks could feel so long though. Matt and I look forward to the days of non-2pm commitments on Sundays.

"Are you ready for the baby to come?" I feel like everyone I pass is asking these days and I'm sure it won't stop until I pop. I'm not exactly sure what to respond. It depends on the person I guess. Afterall, who is defining "ready?" According to the baby magazines Matt and I read in the baby Dr. waiting room to kill the time my house is far from baby-proof and sterile enough. According to other generations we have WELL more than we could ever need. (I agree with them). And yet Matt and I still have a few more things we would like to get before baby comes - a few more spoilers. If baby came home tomorrow, we would have more than enough to survive for a couple of days. But as for the nursery, we would like to get the crib up at some point and some of the odds and ends put in appropriate places prior to the greatest distraction of our attention moving in. So technically we're good. Non-technically, we'll get there. And magazine technically, we'll never be there... EVER (and we don't want to be). My house will never be a Lysol wiped fortress. Instead, a family will live here. And coffee table corners will still sting and our baby will not grow up wrapped in bubble wrap. =)

Okay, off to church. have a great Sunday all!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Announcing John Alan and such

Yesterday at 3:45pm ish our nephew came into this side of the world. John Alan weighed in at 8 lbs 6 oz. and 20.5 inches long. He came out with the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck so he was blue and had some bruising on his face. But as time progressed his skin turned more and more pink and his heartbeat was strong. Ellen is also doing well. She obviously was exhausted, but really did a fantastic job keeping her cool through the almost 12 hours of labor.

As for us here on the home front, Matt and I are playing Mary and Joseph this weekend at the church's live nativity scene outside. And we'll probably end up going to help Rodger at his work Christmas party for all the foster care kids.

When asked last night by the newest Mother in our church how I was feeling, my honesty was revealed. It's a bit less comfortable now and I look forward to sleepless nights with baby on the outside as opposed to the current arrangement. Ellen and Ron kept making comments that "this will be you soon" while Matt and I were visiting prior to labor. Yes, I can agree with them. But no I don't really want to think about it. It's like that marathon run, you really don't want to think about how much it will hurt at the end, you just know you'll push through it as it comes. If I would have thought of that time at the end of the tri-athlon when I wanted to puke on the road during the start of the last mile while training I think my motivation would have been altered. So why dwell on the means of childbirth. For pregnancy is not had for merely the roller coaster of labor, but for the joy of holding the child at the finish line.

So yeah, just trying to keep my eyes on the prize with each leg cramp, back ache, nauseous moment, exhaustion, and much etc.

But you know... being able to address our baby as a Rachael or a David and knowing that Matt and I are Mommy and Daddy - the default- for that little one will totally be worth it all.

Matt and I decided that we're going to finish our prep for the baby at the start of the year. At this exact moment we have just about everything that we need to bring home baby so we're in the clear in case baby comes a bit early. But we figured after Christmas we'd evaluate what all we still wanted before baby comes.

Dakota appears to be adjusting well to the baby things as they slowly spread about the house. She's had some time to smell things and begin to be comfortable with new things. We have 2 last dog training sessions with her before we settle in for the dive into parenthood. Matt and I go to our last childbirth class on Tuesday and we get to have a tour of the delivery/nursery/mother unit of the hospital we're planning to deliver in. I'm looking forward to the tour - labeling me a dork.

Funny story, when walking through the emergency room after last week's childbirth class the receptionist in the ER asked with this huge smile on her face, "going to the fourth floor" (Labor and Delivery). "Huh? Oh no, the car," came my response. Matt and I laughed about it in the hallway after we got out of earshot. So apparently I'm looking a bit larger lately. Or as some may say.. "a bit ripe." I'll have to ask Jenney to take a picture this weekend so I can share with Renee and Aunt Yvonne what everyone else sees on a regular basis and says won't last til January 11.

Baby's doing well with a consistently strong heartbeat. Baby's also in the head-down position, which means more pressure on my bladder, but less surprise bladder assaults. So now when anyone pats my belly they're patting baby's feet and butt. And for all the medical people I am not effaced or dilated - which is a good thing for one who doesn't want to be in labor on Christmas. =)

In conclusion - all's as well as it can be in our home.

How about you?

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Forum of Uneventfuls

All of my dreams last night regarded labor. Guess my brain was working out childbirth class. We're now halfway through Childbirth classes. And my dreams revolved around non-gory thoughts like the beginning hours of mild contractions filled with character and laughs (or so it's said). And in my dreams Matt and I were unprepared, yet prepared and just waiting in eager anticipation. Last night on the way home from the class we discussed getting the car seat installed in the backseat of my car soon. Just in case... And it hit me that in a few short days I'll be down to a one-handed count of the weeks left before we are due. "Wow, once we get to five weeks that's going to fly. I mean 6 weeks feels long, but something about 5 feels quick." I commented to the Popsicle riding shotgun. "It's already quick," said the 6 week-out church planner, "especially when you think of all the stuff we have planned for the next weeks." "Yeah, after Christmas we'll be two weeks out," the words fell out but the reality of that experience still foreign to me. "And Ellen's due next week (Wednesday)," his words hit the still air.

Matt's headed to a Spartan (Michigan State) basketball game with his Dad tonight and he'll return tomorrow some time. I've got another late night to put in at work, but I don't really mind it because Matt's gonna be gone. It'll also feel good to be completely caught up with work. Hopefully I won't be there too late. But thank you cards await me tonight when I get home and I'm hoping those will be enough to keep me from going completely insane from the silence. I may need to get creative tonight. =)

For Jes, Matt's t-shirts no longer fit well at all. Most of the big shirts I find myself stuffing into with hopes that the tops of my pants that automatically roll down due to my low-rider baby will not be seen due to the centimeter's hang-over of shirt to the top of my pants. In fact most shirts I am fearful of stretching out due to the "eleven pound baby" that Matt finds to be a funny joke. "Or have it your way," he said last night after his umpteen joke about us having a huge baby, "seven pounds." It's sad to watch my pregnancy clothes that used to be "so big" slowly shrink to an un-fit-able shirt. And that "winter coat" raincoat that I got in it's oversized and only $6 glory from the thrift store now has a whoppin' 2 centimeters left in it before I pop out of that one too. Bummer, man. Bummer.

Yes, world, there is more to my life than pregnancy - for those of you who are getting tired of reading prego posts. But you must know that in the "real world" I don't talk too much about pregnancy and, therefore, you all get this wonderful forum of uneventful events. Oh lucky you!

Okay, off to work now.
Take care, all.