Discipleship

The greatest challenge I have ever been given is that of Christian parenting, AKA discipling. I'm not talking about television-raising parenting or any other cop-out parenting. I'm talking about attempting to make disciples and raise your children to honor the Lord.

There are the normal exhaustions of parenting that we selectively forget when looking back on the early years. Any parent is faced with the frustrations of talking back, constant noise, discipline and punishment. Those are hard. Those try your core. And those you can't get away from because your child will follow you. ;)

But there is a greater call that will strip you to your core - making disciples.

The Word tells all Christians to go and make disciples. So we arm ourselves for the outdoors, prepping ourselves in the quiet of the morning for the tasks at hand in the day. We strap on our kindness and our faithfulness and our godliness as we seek to intentionally love others to Christ around us.

But what happens when your disciplings are waiting for you before you have gotten your shower? What happens when your disciplings cry out over the baby monitor for the 15 billionth time in the night and they are just as demanding of your example the following morning? Discipleship moves to a whole new level.

And while discipleship is a shared responsibility for a husband and wife when a husband is home, during working hours discipleship is a mother's responsibility. And no matter how much joy and enjoyment you may find in discipling your children, there are still those moments of returning to your home with toddlers in tow and tears in your eyes because no one showed up for their discipling shift in the nursery again. Those moments are hard, when it feels like you alone are investing in your children with minimal, if any some weeks, breaks to re-prep and re-focus.

I am grateful to those who go out of their way to disciple my children. I am grateful for those who require nothing more than "thanks" from me in exchange for personal time to regroup and recollect myself. Their gift is generous to my children and overly generous to me. Gratitude feels like too small of a word to use to express my thanks. And i try to express my thanks as often as I can to those who so selflessly take on my Mommy hat for a few hours.

(sigh).

Discipleship is hard. Seeing your deepest flaws in your children makes you want to be a better Christian and leave a better legacy. But constantly being faced with your greatest challenge day in and day out, 24/7 is also a challenge in itself.

Some days I show up for the challenge. Other days I wish my kids could follow a real example of a good Christian.

And while discipleship is QUITE the challenge, it carries quite the rewards as well. It's the investment in them that is a reminder of God's investment in us... while we were yet sinners.

- just some thoughts on discipleship in the home.

Held

What happens when we start applying the Word of God like as if it's the Truth that it is? What happens when we cling to the Word and the power of God's promise through it?

You know, it's been slowly growing in me the utter power that God has given us through the Word. Many days it can fell so normal and common-place as if somehow a distant part of the Christian walk. It's "old texts" feel just that when new crisis arises. It's "Sunday School" applications feel more like some dying off church when we face the daily battles and struggles of our culture and our generation. What does the Word really have to say about what I am going through?

It is a challenge to state with your livelihood that every word in The Bible is Truth. Not applicable only to one person, or one time, or one situation, but applicable and True.

Can you imagine what would happen if we were to fall on our faces before the Lord and instead of lifting up countless Sugar-Daddy prayers, beg Him for more of His Word to be alive within us? I can't imagine how it would change us if we would just apply more of the Word of God.

Suddenly gluttony, homosexuality, adultery, anger, fear, depression, greed, gossip, impatience, hatred, hypocrisy, impulsivity, being judgmental, anxiety, bitterness, complaining, being critical, disrespect, doubting, envy, boasting, inferiority, superiority, pride, masturbation, lying, love of money, pornography, laziness, profanity, rebelliousness, stealing, self-centeredness, uncontrolled thoughts, lack of discipline, lack of loving, lack of forgiveness, revengefulness, gambling, materialism, pleasure seeking, intoxication, immodesty, smoking, apathy, neglect of Bible Study, prayerlessness and so many others would be answerable. And through the Spirit Christians everywhere could overcome those demons left over from their life before Christ.

The Scripture would truly be alive and sharper than a double edged sword in our lives, cutting out the garbage we allow to master us.

Matt and I have begun a challenge to use the Word to put off our old self methods - you know, those "always there to trip you up" sins, and put on the new self. You are going to meditate on something. You are going to do something during a frustration. You can't just stop doing a sin without replacing it with what God wants us to do. So Matt and I have been using a tool that helps us identify our Achilles heal sins, put on the Biblical character attributes that are the complete opposite of those and then memorize specific Scriptures to guard our hearts against those sins. In other words, we're trying to take God at His Word.

God promises that the Holy Spirit will be our guide. So we're just trying to identify him better and agree with God that our sins are unacceptable.

Are we going to be prefect? Not this side of the New Jerusalem.

But I don't want to be the same. We are called to grow in Christ. The way we did things yesterday is not good enough. Only through the Holy Spirit can true change take hold, but we're called to be proactive in seeking righteousness, not just hoping it'll fall into our lap one of these days.


I am reminded of this song in thinking over the Truth and the power of Scripture applied in our lives. Amidst the tragedy of losing her newborn son, a woman penned these honest words about God's love and character. In the face of fleshly responses to be angry and broken and beaten down amid the tragedy, came this woman's response to her son's death. I'm sure every day wasn't a walk in the clouds or anything close, but the honesty of her unwavering faith is alive in this song.

I want a faith like that. A faith that doesn't have to be tried by trials and tribulations to produce a right view of God and His Word. But a trust that even though we are in a sinful world that has so many sinful consequences and hurts, God's Word is Truth - now and always- and it testifies about the true character of a more-than-worthy-of-our-praise Father.

I hope you choose today, in this moment, and every moment during today to let His Spirit conquer your flesh. It is a true challenge, but as I am reminded again and again,

"No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape, so that you will be able to endure it." - 1 Corinthians 10:13

God has provided all that we need to overcome our temptations through His Word. Now it is time for His people to take Him at His Word.

And "if hope is born of suffering. If this is only the beginning. Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior?"

- to God be the glory.

Communicating Worth

I have recently been reminded of the value of communicating worth in each conversation.

We've all been there: standing beside a person on the phone who just interrupted your conversation to "take this" obviously unpressing phone call. We get the "just a minute" hand motion. Or talking to someone and realising that they are just waiting for you to stop talking so they can continue to share their story. Or maybe it's the "I know you are dying to know all about me" people who never seem to ask you anything about your day.

It all boils down to expressing worth.

We want to feel valued in a mutual conversation. I want to feel like there is a reason to stand face-to-face, not so I can watch you text on your new iPhone. You value me being there. You want to spend time with me. And that's why you are here... and so am I.

I think we have endangered ourselves with the "I'm always available" age. If you can get ahold of me 24/7 that means whomever I am with needs to take a number. While certainly having access to Matt is a wonderful part of our day - sharing in silly signs that I have passed on my walk with the kids, or that random phone call to share what our crazy toddler just said. And yet there is an oddity and a distance that waiting causes in a relationship when "I just have to take this call" happens.

We've all done it and returned to the "now where were we?" moment. But I have been reminded once again that sometimes that moment has passed and static is left on the line.

It makes me evaluate how I communicate their worth to others when in a conversation. Rachael and Abi will always interrupt - they're not perfect- but I am communicating your worth to me by putting them on hold for you. I am saying, "I value you" by turning off the TV when you call. And I am saying, "You matter to me" by being present during our conversation.

The call can wait. The text can wait.

You matter.

I chose to be here with you.

- hope I can continue to make a conscious effort to be present ... in spite of life. =)

Reflective Rain

Today is a raining, thinking day. Ever had those? Seems like I get my best quiet thoughts done on rainy days. Maybe it's because the weather forces us to stay indoors. Maybe it's because staying indoors produces chores-work, which allows for individual kids play which, thus contributes to quiet thinking time.

[We're on the rebound from a stomach virus here on the homestead. Thus, I am washing everything anyone who was infected may have even looked at while they were sick. We don't want any revisitors.]

Rain kept us sitting in the car a little longer than usual at our destinations today, listening to the comforting melodies of Sara Groves' new Cd. Something about the rain and Sara Groves that makes the world's spinning feel a little more slow and manageable. Quieter... easier... slower.... ever mom's dream?

Just been thinking today. Pondering the Word and it's application in our world. Thinking about where God has our little crew and where He is taking us. This journey always brings up memories of sappy Mother-treasures and lonely valleys. Nope, not depressing things, just a day and a time to ponder.

 I was told over the weekend that I am a good Mom. And I wonder what constitutes being a good Mom?

Is it that I have sacrificed my social life for runny noses and dirty diapers?
Is it handing in concert nights for middle-of-the-night fevers and vomit crew?
Is it making the choice to "give up dreams" to have kids - as if kids are not purpose in themselves?
I wonder how we measure a good mom these days?
Does that mean I'm old fashioned and therefore strike a chord with someone else struggle to find their identity among piles of laundry?
Am I one of those "traditional" moms who keep to themselves and don't let anyone into their corner of crazy?
Or am I a newfangled, "my baby must wear the finest", selfish Mom who is too busy taking pictures of their kid to interact?
Maybe I'm a mixture of all or none in any given moment.

What constitutes a good Mom?

I'm not asking for props to be given to me. Just wondering how I classify a good mom.
Does a good mom mean her kids are quiet? What if quiet is a byproduct of fear?
Does a good mom mean her house is clean? What if she never plays with her kids?
Sure there are the balances and the moments of "we're just going to get ice cream and ignore the dirty bathroom". But maybe a good mom is one that knows her weaknesses - however many- and tries to parent her child to not carry on those same weaknesses.

I was asked if I would want someone to follow my example. Is it bad to say "no?" There are so many better examples out there. So many closer Christians to Christ that could give you a much better glimpse of the Perfect Example. Maybe it's better for you to follow those examples, cause seriously you could end up with the fruit I have if you follow my example.

What constitutes a good Mom?

Is Jesus a qualifier?

Hope so.

Thinking about the Proverbs woman (Proverbs 31) - yowza! Did she do all that stuff in one day? Or is it more a synopsis of her week - or weeks. Maybe I'm not such a good mom afterall. Or maybe thinking I'm a good Mom will stunt my growth toward being a good Mom. Is the aim to be a good Mom? Or is that a byproduct of wanting more of Jesus?

Hope so.


- Moments of reflection.

Don't we all need a day like that?

Hope you are finding your soothing rainy day soon.

National Emergecy

It's hard to believe it has been ten years already. I remember it like it was yesterday: coming into my high school class to a CNN broadcast. It was ironic to have the TV on in the first place, but I took my regular seat. There was a building with smoke billowing out of it and I remember thinking, "What country is that cause it looks surprisingly like New York?" No one in the class spoke, excluding the hallway chatter before the bell rang. The teacher stood speechless, glued to the TV. She wrote our assignment on the board, clearly not paying any attention to her crooked writing while remaining attentive to the TV screen. We all wrote down our assignment in our usual programmed way. I saw the second plane hit in real time. I wondered why anyone would run a drill like this. Didn't they know how much fear they could instill. Then it hit me - our country was under attack.

Today is a mixed-bag of feelings with the shock of the 10 year anniversary of 9-11. It's a mixture of sadness and yet the odd normalcy of the happiness of a beginning a new day. It's that eerie haunting oddity of the tragedy... in the face of the new life and rebirth of today. In so many ways it still feels surreal, even though I have visited ground zero and seen the footage. It still feels like a bad movie sometimes, this disconnect from New York since we are "so far away." And yet now that my horizons have broadened, New York doesn't feel as far away as it used to feel. In other ways it feels dangerously close - too close.

I'm not sure I ever got over the shock of 9-11. I know that I am blessed to not have to personally grieve for the direct loss of family or friends due to the tragedy. Last night I listened to the recorded audio transpondings amid airports and the cockpits of the 4 hijacked planes. Maybe it's because I was so young - merely a Sophomore in high school that made the whole thing feel oddly small for a while. My world felt smaller compared to the things I know and understand today. I couldn't even drive, people, so seriously my world consisted of a town-radius. It was odd how I felt the fear of "they're on our soil" and yet the safety of "we're not nearby anything governmental." I didn't know Wright-Patt Air force Base was in Dayton.

And then I remember seeing the footage of what looked like New York City was on fire after the Towers fell...

It is still quite overwhelming. It brings tears to my eyes at times, now that I know more to the magnitude.


My eyes have been slowly opened to parts of the breadth of the tragedy and I have become slightly less shell-shocked. I wonder if there were any children on the planes. I wonder how terrifying it would be to look up from your desk nearby New York's tallest buildings and see your neighboring building "on fire" or witness the second plane hit. I can't imagine the wives and husbands and Mothers sitting by the phone praying for the "I'm okay" phone call that never came.

My heart goes out to the families of the victims of 9-11. I don't really have words to say, but I offer my silence and my prayers in honor and remembrance of September 11, 2001.

Stats

So with moving to an "updated" form of blogger I get all kinds of screens of stats about my blog. Some are fun. And some are depressing. LOL.

I guess it's kind of neat to see who checks my blog, within reason. There's a wonderful "site feed" list that informs me of how little people are checking my blog and from where they are fed or where they begin. I have learned that most people just type in the URL. And yet, the greatest number of hits I get from an external site is from facebook. Go figure. I had begun to wonder if me posting my blog posts there was annoying people. You know, the kind of thing you block others from appearing on your wall for - - too many posts.

But then I found another fun stat that tracked the countries - yes, people countrIES- that have checked my blog. And here's what I discovered:

U.S. some 1,327 views

Argentina – 37

France – 2

Netherlands – 2

Canada – 1

Germany – 1

Nigeria – 1

Russia - 1

 
Kinda interesting, really. Nigeria, I know who you are. Canada could have been my sis on vacation, but also could not have been. France could have been an old, dear friend from elementary school, Cecile. Netherlands? Argentina? Germany? Russia?

Kinda fun. And then I read the next stat - not a single on of them returned this month. hehehehe. Clearly my posts this month have been - uh, lacking to say the least. =) Oh well, the month has just begun. =) I still have time to lose a few more. hehehe.

Thanks for reading, all. It's flattering and terrifying all in one. =)

A Call to a Challenge

You know, I have found the joy in praying for over-seas missions. What a wonderful job that we States-bound Christians can do! And yet I have discovered something unexpected along this journey of doing what God tells me to do... I miss Theresa Reed. It's funny how close Jos, Nigeria feels some days, and yet there is a truth that we cannot get past... it's not next door.

There are times when I just want to walk next door with a plate of cookies. Or I just want to poke my head in and see how things are going and what more I can pray for. Or I just wish the delay of information and the silence were not so thick at times. Sure I am living in the "get information now" generation. I can't even imagine what Rowland's Bingham's family did as they waited for weeks on end just to find out if Rowland had made it to Africa - let alone survived the next day. So i know I am spoiled by Will and Theresa's blog and emails. But there are days that it's not enough. There are days that I just want to run over there... and maybe never come back (don't worry, I'd bring my family. hehehe).

Maybe that's my missionary heart speaking.

I have found along the road of sponsoring Tofic and Lidia that I just want to give them a hug some days. I'm still a stranger in many aspects, but they are a huge part of my life and my thoughts and my prayers.

We got a letter from Tofic yesterday - the smile was unerasable (that may not be a real word, but you get the point). I am so blessed by that little boy and the prospect of loving him from afar. I may never meet him, but I pray for his salvation daily. We talk about him frequently - not because I'm some weirdo stalker (ahem) but because he matters to me. He is a life worthy of investment for the Kingdom's sake. And God called me to love him and I don't know how to do that half-heartedly.

But some days it just feels too far away. I want to be there. I want to feel the dirt in the air. I want to hug Theresa. I want to see with my own eyes and breathe it all in with my own lungs...

And yet I have the utter blessing and privilege of praying for them all, which in turn makes me feel so much closer.


...


Anyway... I just wanted to comment on the irony and challenge of distance amongst believers and their mission field.


- love to my little Lidia, football-loving Tofic, and giving-it-all Will and Theresa.

Riding in Luxury

The best way to make a long drive enjoyable...

According to Rachael. =)


Thanks again, Jessica Thornell for getting Rachael a sucker the size of her head from your  trip to Disney Land. She HIGHLY enjoyed it. =)