A Grateful Perspective

My husband and I had a conversation tonight about the art of living on a budget. I call it an art because it really can be a challenge to live within your means while still feeling the reality of the utter luxury we have in our "means." It's so easy to lose oneself in the "new fads" of today. My kid needs the newest of this. My wardrobe is not complete without the newest of that... Now don't get me wrong a little spoiling is not a problem, but it's important to live within our means.

Living within your means is not popular. Look at the government for example (no, I really won't go there). Commercials fail when we live within our means. Fad fashions fail when we live within our means. Extra storage space fails when we live within our means. And Spring cleaning gets easier when we live within our means.

But for some reason living within our means has become a synonym of the word poor. It's like choosing not to have credit card debt is a lifestyle of the past - everyone is just getting by on the minimum payments, John, get with the program here. It's like going out to get an ice cream cone as a family is no longer spoiling, but an expectation. I sincerely hope and pray that a gift or a random spoiling is not normally considered an expectation in the eyes of my children. They have no right to spoilings - and it's not because I'd rather be selfish and keep the extras for myself. But it is out of the same sincere love for my kids that I give and I choose not to give.

There is such danger in raising a kid that expects overabundance. I'm not talking about expecting food and clothing and shelter and the basics - I certainly hope Rachael and Abi expect, and even beyond that, trust that all that they need will be provided for them by Matt and I - And really where the credit is due: God. But I believe the value in gratefulness is portrayed in not getting everything you want. When you don't have all the new trends you are given the opportunity to value what you do have. I'm not saying we're planning on intentionally depriving our kids, but I am saying that need and want are two different things that God is entrusting us to teach our kids (as we learn ourselves at times. [clears throat]).

Growing up not once did I doubt my parents' love for me. Not once did I doubt their dedication in raising my sister and I to value and appreciate and respect and have self-control about things. Sure I wanted stuff I didn't get. Sure I wasn't wearing the coolest clothes. Sure we didn't have the newest toys. And I don't regret that. I don't feel a loss in my childhood. Yes, my sister and I were teased - what kid out there wasn't teased? My sis and I didn't look like slobs. But we also didn't buy our clothes from a designer shop. My mother was frugal and she still is darn good at being frugal without looking poor. (Holla, Mom!) Thrift store shopping is an art, not just a fun hobby. I mean come on, if you can enter a thrift store and leave with a wardrobe that looks like you shopped at Kohls then you need some serious props given. (Again, Holla, Mom!)

Growing up I remember having the cousin who "had everything." Now I know quite well that they didn't really have everything, but it sure seemed like it. I remember how different it was to meet blessed people in my life and those that felt the need to make you feel jealous of their wealth. I remember thinking others spoiled and mean for their pride in having the newest and "best" things on the market. But I also remember going home to my familiar dolls and toys and enjoying hours of play without begrudging my parents for deprivation. I spent hours on end outside playing when I grew up and to this day I really can't remember much of anything in particular that I played with out there. So whomever claims that stuff makes memories, I know that one's a lie.

I'm not just some bitter poor kid. I just have been taught to find value beyond things. And I hope to teach that to my kids.

The youth group is getting ready to have their annual 30 hour famine again. It's the time of the year when we intentionally look at other countries and the poorest of the poor through the eyes of Christ. We try our hardest to drop our spoiled natures and I-can't-believe-I-don't-have's to see true need at it's purest form. Talk about humbling, people! Every year God uses the 30 hour famine to blow me out of the water. Everything I thought I needed suddenly looks quite stupid. Everything I thought my kids needed suddenly pails in comparison to the utter raw need. Not once have I ever doubted that my kids would be able to eat or survive a common illness. And it's not just for the sake of guilt that the 30 hour famine exists. What good is a 30 hour famine if it remains in a once per year category?

Life changes occur when we see our families in the real light.

We are among the riches people in this world if we own a car and live in a stable home and have food on the table and money to spend at a store and health care and... and... the list can go on and on. It's not enough to merely smile at that fact - God calls to my heart, "How are you using that child?" It's not enough just to sponsor some kid and think that cuts me off the hook. How am I teaching my kids to value? What am I teaching them to value? What am I teaching them about wants and needs? What am I allowing myself to think about wants and needs?

To much that is given, much is expected.

I used to think that when the Bible talked about that it was referring to just a spiritual gift. Or maybe even just those that are really wealthy. It was so much easier to exclude myself from that category and think of all my I-can't-s and my if-only-we-had-more-money's.

What a challenge to be conscious of the underlying messages I allow myself to receive through commercials. Or will I allow myself to live a life in which I'm so stuck in it's-never-enough that I can't move forward to I-have-plenty,-here-have-some!


Am I so stuck on me that I am forgetting my work here?


Rachael and Abi, when you grow up, I really hope you won't look back and think "we never got everything we wanted" but instead think, "we got more than we needed." And if ever you have some desire to parent your kids in a different way than I parented you, please just know in your hearts, that I tried so hard to show you Jesus - and yet I failed in so many ways.


May my next opportunity to teach gratefulness and perspective be a success.

- in Christ alone.

Accepting What Now?

I was reading Job yesterday. Chapter one: Job is introduced as a known, faithful, obedient and relentless follower of God. God offers Job to be tested by Satan. Job loses all his wealth, all his children are tragically killed, and his cattle are ransacked. Job's wife is the sole survivor and when you meet her character in chapter 2 you may wonder why. Yet, Job still praises God. Chapter 2: God offers Job again and Job loses his health. Job's wife "encourages" Job to just casually "curse God and die" - oh the picture of exhortation. Job's response?

"Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?" (ch.3, v.10)

Can we say heart-piercing?

mmm. Yowza!


How easy it is to complain. Ask anyone and I'm sure they could come up with a laundry list of frustrations in their little world. Hello? Could someone help me carry mine? And amidst my complaining I read the words, "Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?"

ZING!

You know it's been a challenge to decipher the truth amid the lies we are whispered daily, sometimes nearly every minute. We're given the opportunity to follow truth to our Lord or follow lies to a desert-wandering path. And when we find ourselves out in left field, thanks to our apple-biting nature, we find the tumble weeds aren't enough company to sustain (oh but we're going to try first). And we need to prodigal it back to the Father with a list of apologies. But we have to first realize that the Father's perceived "pig slop" would be better than the dust we stand in before we can find ourselves robed and at His welcome-home-party table.

You know, it's so easy to get discouraged. Trials seem to constantly be hiring and for some reason we keep submitting our resumes, sometimes unknowingly.

Sometimes working out our salvation feels like a once-a-month shopping trip with the gimpy cart and a late-napping, fall-out expressing toddler. And it's in those moments that I desperately beg and plead for the Father to remind me of His open-door policy because it's so easy to feel like God's a complaint box that never gets weeded through. But no matter how many times I get stage fright and feel overcome by the serpent's whispering, I need to keep reminding myself that when that curtain comes down the only encore will belong to Jesus and Jesus ALONE!


- wrestling out this faith journey.

Raining and Thoughts

This weekend was a good one, even though it was a hard one. The reality of our dear brother in Christ, David Cowherd, really being gone is a mixed bag of emotions. While life "goes on" here on this side of heaven, we miss his smiling face. Continued prayers for Jeanie and family. The visitation is tonight and the funeral is tomorrow.

Yesterday was a quiet day and today feels like a repeat of yesterday.

I have found sometimes in my walk with Christ that there are high moments and then the valleys. Valleys can be brought on by many things. And it's odd, but while in a valley you can still have joy in Christ. You'd think a valley would just be consumed with heaviness and darkness. But amidst the trials there is still unwavering hope - hope in faithful Jesus.

But there are still times that bring on silence, thoughts whirling in your head and times of just being and doing with little thoughts. Oh the value of a walk or a mundane task amid "quiet days." There's just been a lot of process lately. A lot to think on. A lot to surrender.

Abi's smiling face today has been lovely. She has two little curls on the top of her head that appeared after bath time this morning. The two curls counteract each other resulting in both standing straight-up on her head in one Alfalfa sprout. It's super cute to witness the both bobble as she crawls about with a smile devouring her face. Amazing the affects of a full belly and teething meds.

Rachael is having a cute moment as well, setting up a picnic for Abi - which Abi promptly mauls and then claps. Rachael seems only mildly affected by Abi's inability to "play right." It's fun to have two, even when they clash at times. And it still amazes me how much that toddler just loves that little baby - right where she's at.

Matt and I have been trying to eat healthy again. HA! Isn't that the story of our lives. But Matt stumbled across a book called "Eat this, not that" and it's been helpful in eating REALISTIC healthy things. Let's be honest, people, we just don't have the time or determination to spend a whole afternoon making one dinner. Maybe that's part of the cooking/workout plan - burning the calories in the food prep. Regardless, we're exploring the possibilities of eating more healthy things without breaking the bank or feeling the need to jump on the organic fad. Let's just say the only "Go green" we do is to "Go Green, Go White" (Michigan State - oh how my hubby would be proud.) Don't get me wrong, taking care of the planet is a good thing, I'm just not into the craze of walking on eggshells as if the planet's going to explode tomorrow. Maybe I'm just broken, but I think the world is going to look like we lived here after we're gone - cuz, you know, we lived here. And I'm probably wrong - I have been in the past and will be again- but I feel like a lot of the "Go Green" is just a new fad, like skinny jeans and mismatching clothes. (Feel free to throw your tomatoes now. hehe.)

We've been going to the gym 4 times per week - no they're not giving out door prizes. The kids enjoy their little daycare play zone and Matt and I "enjoy" killing ourselves for the sake of health. It's actually quite nice to relieve stress and work hard, even at the expense of sweat dripping down your back. The gym can be so selfish, like the one "nicely fit" mom who dropped off her very overweight preschooler with fruit roll-up in hand into the daycare and then proceeded to the tanning room to tan her sculpted self. But we believe that the gum can also be a statement to God that we want to keep His vessel healthy and ready to go wherever He leads. We may not be marathon ready, but we'll try to be run-a-flight-of-stairs-without-dying ready.

Well I better get going, Rachael notified me that she needs a tissue (she wiped her nose on my shirt while snuggling. mmmm.) and Abi has begun her daily curtain attacking. It's raining outside. Despite common opinion of the rain being a nuisance, I like it.

Hope you all are enjoying your day and have enjoyed your weekend.

Awaiting Snow White Mornings

So I feel like a kid waiting on Santa Clause today - only I know Santa doesn't exist, but I'm still stoked! Today we get our new mattress. This may not sound too exciting to most, but to us it's about as thrilling as it comes! We've been blessed with hand-me-down mattresses thus far into marriage and while those are wonderful in that we didn't have to buy a mattress, we have experienced the wonder of "broken in" mattresses for too long. We've abandoned the idea of a springed mattress and have moved into the foam world. We viewed a sleep number bed, and bounced around on a tempur-pedic (WAY expensive and actually quite warm to sleep in as well) and breezed by the latex mattress world (new innovation, wonderfully comfortable, CRAZY expensive). So we found ourselves landing in the knock-off memory foam world. And let me tell you, that land in comfy and supportive. =)

So today, yes on April Fool's Day, we will get our mattress delivered and thus bask in the hope of tomorrow being a Snow White morning - birds chirping, cute and furry animals rustling about outside, singing a little song... Well, maybe that's asking too much, but no more back pain would be nice! =)


Anyway, that's all my rambling for today. And when you come and visit us later... NO! YOU CAN'T JUMP ON OUR BED! hehehe.

Have a great day, all!