You are Sunrise

You Are Sunrise

You enjoy living a slow, fulfilling life. You enjoy living every moment, no matter how ordinary.
You are a person of reflection and meditation. You start and end every day by looking inward.
Caring and giving, you enjoy making people happy. You're often cooking for friends or buying them gifts.
All in all, you know how to love life for what it is - not for how it should be.

What Type of Day are You?

My Grandpa

Why I love my grandpa: an excerpt from his e-letter to me.

"This short epistle has not done justice to your letter but it will serve to let you know we are still on the face of the earth and that if you think this letter is a bit crazy in spots, remember that 25% of you -- is me.


Our Love, Lud and Glenda"

Extrovertantly Intro

Well, it's spring break and I'm busier than ever. [I really hate the word "busy".] I went to a work training tonight which reminded me again of how much I am not cut out to be a teacher and how much I don't want to be at my work anymore. But I also need to stop complaining and suck it up. It's paying me. And I need to give it my all even when I get upset about spending so much of my life there. God has it in my life for a reason. [... sorry about my processing here... pep talks are sometimes a necessity.]

Random cute thing from today?
Four year old Christopher Turner (Pastor's kid) told me about a character in a new movie they rented from the library.
Christopher: His name is google.
Rachel (7 year old older sis): No, Christopher. Google's a website. Noogle's a name. His name is Noogle.

So, yeah... this spring break finds me running around like a headless chicken at times. And at other times, with headphones lost in Les Mis. And other times, overwhelmed with the excitement of the upcoming August 25th. And at other times, wishing I could somehow convince a dear friend that she is not alone, despite a very draining job that seems to be "the only thing available". And at other times... dear friends, I must admit that at other times I just wish that the silence of my own thoughts would be able to overcome me. That overwhelming feeling of being pulled in every direction all at once leaves you with the realization that in your mind you are still standing still. And to progress forward, sometimes you must visit the past experiences to release them from yourself. I guess this is the thought process of an introvert stuck in the expectation of extroversion. Sometimes, you just wonder if you'll ever start living in the today if only you'd get the chance to let go of the yesterday that has been stifled until quiet time permits it's release.

Heavy it weighs at times.

Heavy.

How far.

Have you ever looked back at how far God has taken you?

I ran into some thoughts about high school this morning. How "back in the day" it felt. Those thoughts drew me to thoughts of junior high. And those to elementary school days. And before I knew it, I was back at Elphic road, watching the California clouds.

How far my Lord has brought me. I remember riding big wheels on the dirt trail in the field by the Elphic road house. Dirty feet, dirty hands... lovin' it. And then the first glimpse of Cincinnati from I-75 in Kentucky. I remember as my sleep eyes embraced the glowing unknown. Or what about the time I tapped my pencil on my desk in forth grade as we were working on some classwork. The clicking broke through the silence. "Monica, please stop." "Okay," my words came as I went back to my work. "Monica!" the voice came again, and that's when I realised that I had ever intention to stop, but I was so focused on doing my work that I paid no attention to the fact that my pencil had never missed a tapping beat. Oops, how out-right disobedient I must have looked to her eyes. I was too ashamed to tell her. (hehe). Or how about being picked second for a football team in fifth grade because I ran so fast and none of the boys would tackle me. Oh, the joy I found in being a secret weapon. Or how about getting the opportunity to run at the big High School track. To an eighth grader there is no more adult feeling. And then the feeling of driving to school for the first time. I might as well have left a lexis in that parking lot instead of that poorly parked, rusted white Toyota Corolla. Oh, but to be able to leave school and get into a car to drive home. All eyes sure felt like they were in awe of my adult-ness.

Oh where the Lord has brought me.

To Tennessee in a fleet of "I am super old". That overwhelming feeling of independence that came with the first day of classes. I have my own schedule. My own choices. My own success. And then at Wright State, feeling home was rightfully close... while still being far. And that feeling of... I really can do this. I really can be independent.

And to move off campus. The first feeling of "no strings attached" to campus life. The first feeling of home coming with having a kitchen table and a couch is indescribable. And to have something that belongs to you... that meows? Responsibility has never sounded so sweet or felt so soft.

And now to be touching the edges of "the next step".

It's amazing to think of how far God has brought me. How far and how much He has taught me.

How much.

How deep.

and how far He will take me...

that's my Father.

that's my Father.

Strictly Mathematical

- a friend emailed this to me and I thought it was cool. and I don't even like Math! =)

From a strictly Mathematical Viewpoint:

What Equals 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been in situations where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 101%? What equals 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these Questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 1 9 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R- K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

AND, look how far the love of God will take you

L- O- V- E-O-F-G-O-D

12+15+22+5+15+6+7+15+4 = 101%

Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:
While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Love of God that will put you over the top!

May the Love of God be your life.

Numerical Breakdown

number overload.

can't wait for stats to be over.

x=+-[(64706178.46170)(16786.0784)]=SE=alpha/square root of n ...... eeek!

In Fine Linen and Purple?

WHAT a task!!!

I woke up this morning and God spoke to me instantly...

much is coming,

much to be excited about.

Funny thing? The message came in a hidden picture. I was looking online for a website that Tamara had suggested for personal studies. Being as how my personal studies really bite the big one lately... I wanted to find some Bible Study material to learn myself. Being a big ol' nerd... I was really looking forward to sinking in to study, study, study the Word. But I couldn't find the website. So.. I'll be contacting Tamara soon.

Nonetheless, I did find a random website that made me wonder about Apex's site. So I turned to Apex's site and looked under the "listen" section to check out Rob's sermons. I scrolled down the page a bit and realized that the page went much further than I imagined. I smiled a painful smile as I read the sermon titles that I sat throught. A little hurt grew up in my heart as I thought about leaving it Apex. Then there was a time period that I wasn't familiar with. Way back in 2002... April 21... "When God gets ahold of Estrogen". It was funny but I wondered what Rob sounded liek when Apex started. Back in the dark ages... in the beginning.... of Apex. I clicked on the sound clip and my friend's voice blared from the recording. I smiled thinking of how "little" Rob sounded. And how poorly it was recorded. Rob introduced Proverbs 31, the first half, and promised to continue the second half the following week. But a few words rang in my ears... words in passing... "I just wanted to thank all the people who helped in moving us in here this week..." the congregation cheered. A biginning was established.

I thought about Matt's beginning. I thought about the opportunities Matt has right now to preach, even prior to him attending Seminary. God is truly at work in him. But in that statement, fear arose... I just don't feel I'm good enough. I just don't feel like I'm that kind of women. Ever felt inadequate for God's work? I really do. And I allow it to scare me.

"How big is God?" I used to ask the kids at work.
"He's bigger than..." began their train of thought as they proceeded to list everything big that they could think of.

Monica, How big is God?

A beginning has such an adventurous start, such an exciting start... and when I get fearful, I wish I'd look at how big God is and stop relying on my sight.

Oh, but I'm not going to lie... my sight is often my default. "Just have faith" a pastor could say... oh and it wouldn't be untruthful.

But sometimes I just feel... inadequate.

But I will go. I will go. Lord, I will go!
And I will learn what "by faith and not by site" truly means.

For the glory of the Lord
[I surely can't do it.]
For the glory of the Lord!

And I need to hold to that.
Oh, how I need to hold to that.

Hasn't Grown Cold

This is a beautiful song that has been swimming in my head this morning. I keep singing the chorus over and over and watching the beautful sky that God has given us. The sunlight, the rolling clouds and the blue sky.... I can't keep from singing.

The thing about this song is that it is sung in a low, reassuring melody that winds and falls with it's slow accompaniment.

See, winter is a time of hibernation for some, but for others... life goes on and much is required. Winter can be a hard time [And it was.] of dark days. It's funny how te weather can affect your mood when you allow it. But even through "hard seasons", this song... it just fits... it just works...

My Love Hasn't Grown Cold Bethany Dillon lyrics

You shake your head
What is so hard to believe?
When you are in your bed
I sing over you the sweetest things

Because oh, my love does not tire
I'm awake when the moon is full
And I know the times when you feel lost
And you just aren't sure

Lo and behold
My love hasn't grown cold
For you

You cold steal away in the middle of the night
And hide in the light of day
While you cloak yourself in the darkest lies

But oh my love, it swims in the deepest oceans of fear
And as soon as you lower your headI am here

Lo and behold
My love hasn't grown cold
For you

If only you could see
How heaven stills when you speakI know all your days
And I have wrapped you in mystery

And oh, my love for you
Is as wide as the galaxies
Just hold out your hand and close your eyes
And come be with me


Lo and behold
My love hasn't grown cold

For you