To and From the Child Within...

I get it.

You're still thriving.

Now can we let mom enjoy the thought, smell, or vague idea of food?

No?

Ok (sigh) maybe tomorrow.

_______________________________________________

Co-worker: I'll be right back, I've got to go the bathroom.

- returns successfully-

Me: I'll be right back, I'm gonna try to throw up again.

- returns unsuccessfully-

_______________________________________________

I'm looking forward to meeting you, dear one,

but today I'm mostly looking forward to the first trimester's end.

Oh that I might stop eating crackers and pretzels.

The sight of them makes me want to puke sometimes.

Yours Truly

I am so proud of him. And what an honor.
Not a single person disagreed.

Last night the church board, staff, deacon body, and financial committee unanimously agreed that my husband's title as of June 29 will be:

Assistant Pastor.


With that honor comes a full-time position with paid vacation, fantastic benefits, and the parsonage.

That's right... we're moving from a one bedroom apartment to a four bedroom house with fenced in backyard and two car garage.

Isn't God amazing?!

Just think of it...

Over the past few months Matt and I have gone from a dead car, 12-13 hour per day exhausting job (mine), overwhelming schooling (Matt's), and general "I miss you cause I can't see you EVER" feelings to a reliable new-to-us car (that's family size), new job (mine) that allows me to see my husband, increased salary (both), almost completed bachelor's schooling (Matt), new home, a baby on the way, and seminary on the horizon!

It just floors me how the Lord has provided.

Lord, this is Yours... truly!

Routine Office Day

"NO!!!"
running away
being caught
screeching
kicking in the shins
*inappropriate words*
"Got off me you stupid, idiot!"
scratching
biting
screeching
flailing

... repeat for 20 minutes until child's bus arrives...

Interesting Concept

I must admit, I am not sold by this green kick. But some ideas actually do make what would be a pain-in-the-butt concept a bit more user friendly. I was just thinking of our options in the wide world of...

Progression Fruits

Welp, I set my first baby doctor visit for Friday, May 23 at 3pm. Yeah!
And Matt can go.. double Yeah!

I know... I get way too excited about the little things.

But I guess it's just the thought of moving forward in the process that's neat, especially since the nauseousness seems to be a bit intense today. And I'd kind of like further proof and reassurance that I'm not doing all this for nothing. hehe.

No, in all reality, I do look forward to meeting the Dr. and introducing myself as the one with the extra hormones.

Also found this kinda cool site online. For those of you who either have too much time on their hands or are actually genuinely interested.

Thank you to those of you who were really excited and maybe even still are really excited for Matt and I. I came across a "less than excited" non-family first response to the news the day after I found out and it was quite disheartening to explain to a co-worker that this child is not an abomination to my "life-plans." So I really do appreciate those of you who gave such encouraging words during this exciting, yet quite honestly scarily new phase of life. Your words carry more than you know....

so thanks.

Both are Degraded

Thought this was interesting...

De Tocqueville contrasted the American understanding of women, with European sentiments:

"There are people in Europe who, confounding together the different characteristics of the sexes, would make man and woman into beings not only equal but alike. They could give to both the same functions, impose on both the same duties, and grant to both the same rights; they would mix them in all things — their occupations, their pleasures, their business. It may readily be conceived that by thus attempting to make one sex equal to the other, both are degraded, and from so preposterous a medley of the works of nature nothing could ever result but weak men and disorderly women."

What do you think?

Unknown Co-worker

I am that co-worker.

- for those of you who didn't know. -

Client-tell

On Wednesday a coworker notified the staff that she's pregnant. I was so happy for her and yet it got me to thinking about how horrifying the shock of pregnancy could be.

It got me thinking about how much of a joy, but how unplanned fears of the unfamiliar can help determine a mother's tolerance for "morning sickness" or all of the other pains and scares of pregnancy.

And then I wondered about my clients.

I wonder how many of them came as a surprise to their mothers. And especially in the "little kid's" room across the hall, I wonder how it must have felt to see "the baby" not being able to grow out of that stage. I wonder what it felt like the first time a mother realised that "the baby" wasn't like other babies.

A lot of our clients' parents come in with frustrations. "He doesn't act right." "He can't behave." And a lot of parents of these kids want us to fix this kid.

But some parents are just flat out overwhelmed with the plight that has been handed them, or the plight that they have chosen. It's so easy to make a naive decision. And not all things come out just like they're planned, no matter how well thought out.
And the more that I'm an "adult" I realise how much "we adults" don't know. It's not like you're handed this manual or all of a sudden after college answers to hard like situations pop into your head.

Experience shapes us.

And then to think that some of the beginnings of the stressors of these parents' lives began with a plus sign that could never be erased.


It just makes me think that not every story is written in the ideal... but with a little encouragement and supports, the story does not have to end like it began...

unplanned.


... I was just thinking ...

One For Me

Cast:
Me - myself
"the guy" - representative of Matt in appearance, but not in character
Miranda - my friend Miranda in appearance, though not in character
Chris - Miranda's husband, yet non-existent in the plot


Sketch:

Me and the guy are riding in a car late one night.

Me: Miranda wants to marry you as a backup plan in case her and Chris don't work out

the guy: No... no

Me: No, I really don't think it's a bad idea, I think you should go for it

Various explanations mumbled against the silence.

the guy: Ok, fine


[Implied few months later.]

The church is filled with people, not a pew-space available. Big hats, flowery dresses, much chatter. An organ plays in the background. A bride and groom stand on the church stage by the altar. Some dialogue ensues between pastor and couple, but exact words cannot be deducted through side conversations.

Me: Sits there in shock, mouth agaping; obviously having changed mind about wedding plans.

Exit music begins and bridal party starts to leave.

Me: exits in overwhelmed emotional state after bride/groom

the guy: notices Me running to the bathroom and pursues.

Me: enters restroom stall and bawls hysterically and exhaustively.

the guy: [through the closed bathroom door] What's wrong? Are you okay?

Me: [between sobs] Those vows you just said canceled our vows and isn't it illegal to have more than one wife?

the guy: No, it's only illegal to have three or more wives, not two.

Me: [between sobs] Are you going to dance with her? [Implied after-reception activity. "Dancing" held to Me character as something that she only does with her husband because of feeling comfortable enough with him to look a fool.]

the guy: Yeah. But I won't do anything else.

Me: runs from bathroom, wet with tears, toward parking lot.

the guy: does not pursue Me, but walks in the direction of his new bride.


And then I woke up in a cold sweat and nearly in tears. Matt lay beside me, breathing heavy. The clock read 4 something.

It didn't really happen. I tried to reassure my mind as I came out of that dream-like haze. This is here and now. This is real. He wouldn't do that. And Miranda wouldn't do that. That was some nightmare. But I was sleepy enough to have an altered reality.

I put my arm out...

I didn't want to wake him.
He needs his sleep.

4:15AM

4:25 AM

4:45AM

the numbers changed, but sleep never came.

At 5, I hugged him and wouldn't let go. He woke up.
I told him.
He laughed initially when I explained the setting.

"What a jerk!" His sleepy voice empathized.

He rolled over, "Well you don't have to worry about me marrying anyone." He put his arm around me, "You're the only one for me."



-I have no idea why I had that nightmare, I know that Matt's promise is forever. And it just tipped my world a little off thought with how real it all felt. I can't even image what a wife must feel who goes through a divorce. I still have no idea what induced that dream, maybe I ate something funny, but what I do know is that I am blessed not to have to worry about any situation like that.-

A Wanted Change

Just as an FYI, this website can be accessed through "moe4him.blogspot.com" as well as the title "todaysmeans.com." [I'm not sure if there will come a day in which "moe4him's" address no longer directly connects to this site, so please don't forget "todaysmeans".) Yes, that means that I changed the page's name to "todays means" because I felt it appropriate for each changing statge of life. Afterall, we are not promised tomorrow. Beyond that fact, God is constantly changing the ways that I think about Him and how to best spread His Name. Therefore, each post is merely "todays means" of living in this world.

It's been over a week since the adventure, but it's worth a quick post. Seminary was great.

Not only was it so neat to feel proactive in our future, it was such a blessing to be surrounded by Christ-seeking, Christ-honoring users of the very mind God gave them. While I'm sure there are some, seminary students and professors are so much more than intellectuals. And it was neat how often that was mentioned in the orientation weekend.

And it was wonderufl to get away with my husband. God really used the time to remind me that even thought it may feel like my husband is married to our little church in a nice little competition with our marriage at times, God has called US to His way for our lives. And it was so nice to feel the US in His plans to move us and grow us where He would have us. He knows how much that touches my heart. And I am so blessed by the Lord's lesson in my life.

Oh, and did I mention how beautiful the campus was...

my goodness... all the trees... the beautifully old buildings...

well take a look for yourself. It's pictured above.

Oh right, I forgot the camera.

- lame -