Monday, July 30, 2007

This just in...

There truly is so much to report and not enough time to report it all to you few faithful readers.

* I just got back from a 6 day Cleveland mission trip with Matt's church (yes, it still feels like Matt's church, but it'll feel like mine soon, I hope. )

* Last night (Sunday) was my last house church. It took a walk and a few tears to feel halfway comfortable with that goodbye.

* Today I have to make a copy of Robin's key to turn in tomorrow.

* Today I'm meeting with Sarah from Miamisburg to hang out a bit and head over to Sears for some guidance.

* Tonight is class (only 2 more to go- for participation points only) and I will hopefully find out how I did on my final paper.

* Tomorrow I have to turn in my apartment key and I'm officially no longer Robin's roommate as of tomorrow (only I'll be living her until August 25th until I get to move in with Matt).

* Tomorrow I get to harass the social work board to find out when I can test for my license.

* Wednesday Matt and I get apartment keys and begin moving furniture into our new apartment. I'd again like to clarify at this point that Matt and I are not moving in together until after our exchange of vows, rings and August 25th festivities. But we do get to move furniture into where Matt will be living in a few weeks and where I will get to live in 25+ days.

* And then the rest of the week will be filled with more packing, more moving, and I'm sure a bunch more random tasks that require my full attention and time.

So, yeah.. that's it all in a nutshell. Processing and preparations for my new life with Matt are going well. Thank you, Robin, for your patience and your hugs throughout this process called transition.

Thank you, Lord, for your perfect friendship. Thank you for your peace and your rest. I love You.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Blinds Licker.

So Robin's cat, Boots, is just plain weird. He eats people food... You know, like a dog. Oh and it's not just dairy items. He'll eat broccoli, black olives, cereal, dry noodles, and so much more. He also likes to eat plant leaves, sing to himself in particularly echo-friendly sections of the house, hang his paws over the top of Robin's dresser mirror (from sitting on top), perch on Franklin's tank, lick the bathtub foam after someone takes a shower, swatt at the bathtub faucet while the water's on, and a new one as of today... lick the dust off of the blinds in Robin's room. Yep, he's a freak. A big, fat ol' freak.

Life-long Friend

Thank you, Jes. You've been a wonderful friend to me throughout this transition. And your humor really helped. I love you so much. Thanks man for being a wonderful sister. Okay, enough with the sappiness... quick, fake cry and embrace.

Memory Helper

Oh and in case you forgot... 38 Days!

Purchased Lies

"The mainstays of the American economy are self-improvement products such as makeup, hair spray, hair coloring, perfume, soap, deodorant, and clothing. Since women are the main buyers of self-improvement products, advertisements are geared to women. Their one purpose is, of course, to sell.

Ads must convince the consumer of her need. To do this, they must first persuade her that she is inadequate and incomplete without a particular product. Advertising preys upon, contributes to, and reinforces a woman's poor self-image. As a result, powerful and disturbing feelings of inadequacy tug at a woman's mind-and her checkbook. She buys beauty in the form of soap, attention in the form of perfume, romance in the form of shampoo.

Age spots, split ends, graying hair, and cellulite-fates worse than death, if the media propaganda is to believed. Years ago, women, while conscience of their appearance, didn't worry about age spots because, thought they had them, they didn't know what age spots were. And if they did, they weren't bombarded with warnings about them.

It's not enough for women to wash and brush their hair. Now they are expected to condition it, dye it, color it, curl it, spray it, mousse it, and cut it in fashionable ways. They change hairstyles about as often as their underwear, which itself comes in a multitude of colors and styles. Woman-recreated in the media's image.

Not only is today's woman barraged with this female beauty propaganda, her husband is. Silently, she watches him watch. When she-and he, she supposes-stacks herself up against bronzed bikinied beauties, she sees nothing but a formless slab of whitewashed cellulite. How can she compete? Depression. Stress.

The Christian woman is particularly stressed because she knows that enduring values are spiritual, that character is far more important than appearance, and that while people look at the outside, God looks at the inside. But every time she hears a seminar leader (who is usually beautiful) talk about inner beauty, her mind is on outer beauty. Guilt. Stress. "
- an excerpt from "Women Under Stress" by Randy and Nanci Alcorn
I just thought it was interesting to read during today's rest time at work. Some areas, sadly, are more on the true side than I'd like to admit.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Away.

Matt called me Tuesday. I was glad to hear his voice, it was totally worth being a bit late to work. He informed me of their travels to youth camp. He told me about the popped tire on his parent's van that resulted in a smashed Axel, $200 towing fee, a 2 1/2 hour late arrival to youth camp, and eventually a "totaled" title for the van. He told me about the church bus fender-bender that resulted in a shattered door pane and twisted metal all before Matt could get the boys and their luggage to their lodging. He told me about his self-letdown and disappointment in being the driver of the bus during the parking lot accident. He told me he had an absolutely horrible night. And he really missed me. "It's funny, but whenever things just go completely wrong, I just want to be with you." He told me. And everything I had wanted to give him a hug and tell him that I loved him. But only the words could travel by phone.

So, I miss Matt.
He's away and I just plain miss him.
Could you pray for him, please?

the end.

Finishes! I finished it. 32 pages. 11 outcomes with subgoals. 10 references. 2 years of education. integration of everything I could think of. And it's done.
Goodbye final paper. Proove me well. Get me an A, preferably, or at least a good draft. But no matter what, at least you are done.
Done.
Done.
Done.
FINISHED!!!

Sunday, July 08, 2007

Official "Transition"

Well, it's official. We broke the 50 day marker. That's right friends and family and faithful readers (thanks Robin and Matt) we broke the 50 day marker. Indeed, in 48 days from now I will carry two names.. Mrs. Monica S____ and Mrs. Matthew S______. Too cool I get two names... two identities... what else do I get two of? (Sorry, I'm getting a little carried away here.)

Today he did it again. And the sermon was great. Good job Matt. Even though it may have looked like I wasn't listening cause I was writing back and forth to Robin about Calvinism... I was listening and as far as I know... I never once heard any heresy. ROCK ON, Matt!!!
No, seriously. I couldn't have been more proud of you, Matt. God really came through you.

Well, today marks 23 days (3.5 weeks) until Matt and I start moving furniture into our new apartment. Oh, no fear friends. I'll be staying with Robin to keep my witness and Matt will be living in his bachelor pad which I will promptly crash exactly 25 days after the first piece of furniture touches the wood floors. Afterall, Matt and I have earned our white and we're keeping it that way! Thanks be to God for keeping us pure, despite our own impurities.

In other news, pre-marital counseling is 3/4 of the way done. Our last session is going to be in the last weekish before we get married. I highly recommend pre-marital counseling to you all. (Well, maybe not ALL of you.) But nonetheless, "I laughed. I [not really] cried. It moved me , Bob." (Thanks to Larry for the quote.) In all, pre-marital was fun and hard and new and reaffirming and ever-so helpful. Thanks Rob. And thank you, Robin, for listening to all my processing of the sessions. You really were a trooper to put up with me.

Well, this coming week is my last week for internship. (Woot-Woot!) And then my final paper summing up all of my years of Social Work education (all 2 years) is due on Thursday. And then excluding mere attendance to class, I will be checked out of school FOREVER!!!

Also, this just in... Tuesday I'm headed down to Cinci to have my last wedding dress fitting. HOLLA!!!!

So yeah, a lot of fun things in this chapter of life labeled "Transition".

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Honey, We Need Counseling

Of course it's not just us... everyone does. Or at least everyone needs counseling who are getting married. Especially those who are getting married in 52 days!!!
(Seven weeks for Robin's count.)

I agree, Jes, relationships are hard and yet rewarding and very "different". And nothing like counseling will make you feel as unprepared for the future as anything. And yet at the same time, our first counseling session reaffirmed the fact that while I may not currently contain the wisdom to conquer fights, love Matt he way he needs, and be a mother (down the road), the foundation of Matt and my relationship is strong enough that the promise of the rest of our lives to each other will survive. It's nice to hear Rob reaffirm what God has already said to be the path for our lives.

But who knew counseling would put you on the spot? (Yes, I'm that naive sometimes.)

For a thinker, there is nothing more horrifying than an interview. And an interview we indeed had. But all the while I was fearful that I wouldn't know the answer to some questions, especially the "if I were to ask Matt this question, how would he respond" questions. So, in other words, if I don't answer this question right, I don't know my future husband. And worse than that, if I answer it wrong, but he answers it right, then I look like a self-absorbed fiance. My, my.... the stresses I place upon myself and the power that I give anxiety to conquer me sometimes. Oh, and way to scare the tar out of me, my dear friend, Rob.

Conflict Resolution is this Saturday's topic. HA! Matt and I have no conflict. This should be easy. We always agree. hehehe.

In all reality, while it may be hard for me to do the mushy romanticism love (I am just not quite wired like that), there is one thing that has been reaffirmed lately in Matt and my relationship. My greatest promise that I can give Matt will be proven not through any words I can say, but through walking beside my best friend and love. It doesn't matter what will come. It doesn't matter how much I get annoyed or frustrated at Matt. No matter whether I want to be alone sometimes or whether I fail to listen when he most needs someone to listen to him. No matter how many times I fail him by not supporting him, by disappointing him, and by saying something mean. It doesn't matter how much baggage (good or bad) I bring into our lifelong promise. But the only thing that does matter is that for the rest of my life, I choose to love Matt, laugh with Matt, encourage Matt, ask forgiveness from Matt, apologize to Matt, cry with Matt, and just sit in silence with Matt. And the only way that I know how to prove my love to Matt is to do just that... walk with Matt through life.

Sometimes I don't feel like that promise is enough. And I am sure that I won't know the extent of that promise until our first serious argument after marriage or our first huge trial or whatever may come. But my promise will never change. And premarital counseling, despite hard at times... and wedding planning, though hard and hurtful at times... and "the rest of our life" conversations about those topics that we so would like to avoid... all of it has only strengthened my promise to Matt.

I love you, Matt.
And I can honestly tell you that I will never leave you until God calls me or you home.


Thank you, Lord, for all the ways that You have reaffirmed this path for Matt and I. Thank You for all You have provided us with. Lord, "thank You" just isn't enough. Yet, thank You, Lord, for the greatest challenge and reward on this side of the cross. Thank You, Lord. Thank You. Thank You. And in my hardest moment of sheer hurt... thank you. How You bless me Lord. In Christ Jesus, I pray. Amen.