Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Notice

Attention: Mr. Charles Horse

It has been brought to the attention of maintenance and management that you have been residing in the Right Calf Building with violation of our building codes. Neighbors have made complaints of a physical altercation that occurred on Tuesday, the second day of September in the year of two thousand and eight at the hour of five o'clock in the A.M. Officer Calcium reported having given forewarning of the consequences of any such altercation the previous night at ten o'clock in the P.M. Officer Flex also reported of his attempts to settle the altercation, but the lasting tension resulting from the altercation has continued to plague neighbors in the building. It is, therefore, in violation of the building code rules of keeping the peace and working in harmony that management has regretfully given this notice. Unfortunately, in light of the severity of this physical altercation and the unresponsiveness to correctional forces, it is on this day, Tuesday, the second day of September in the two thousand and eighth year that you are receiving this eviction notice. Your belongings are to be collected at the front of the property by noon today and any soreness or damages left behind will be billed as outstanding charges. Any noncooperation with this immediate eviction will result in further legal actions.

- Management #011985

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are very clever. So sorry you were awakened this way though. Been there, never want to again.

Anonymous said...

LOL!

Monica said...

yeah it could have been worse... I could have had 2 at the same time. But it was funny cause I hollered out "ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch" repetitively as I rolled around on the bed and matt's first response out of a dead sleep was, "shhh... wake up. it's okay. it's okay." =)

Anonymous said...

You crack me up, like I've fallen from wings of eagles,

You crack me up, right before if fall in the stormy seas,

I am sore when you are at your funniest,

You crack me up, much more than I can say....