In the air and eyes bulging

Have you ever been afraid of something and later discovered it wasn’t that bad?

I was sitting on the couch, towel on head, enjoying “On Fire” by Switchfoot. The shower was good and hot. A stack of books lay on the floor beside my laptop on the coffee table, evidence of a final paper finished Monday. Boots walked by, as usual. Only this time Boots caught a glimpse of something out of the corner of his eye. I still have no idea what he thought he saw, but he took off tearing in the other direction. He poked his head back around the corner, wide eyed and timid. Thinking it amusing, I moved my foot and made a noise. He jumped a foot in the air and backed up, eyes bulging. He returned an additional seven or eight times in which he jumped a bit and rigidly rocked toward and away from the books. I just let him work it out for himself. He hesitated and sneaked around the coffee table for a while. Then he built up the courage to sniffed the books.

Ten minutes later, I picked up the cat as he walked by normally. I cradled him like I usually do and he tolerated it for a few minutes. Then, he caught glimpse of the stack of books and lost all control. Four puffy scratches later and I can tell you with hands down that irrational fear is not fun!

I too am as foolish when it comes to irrational fear. Lately I have done nothing but horrify myself with marriage fears. I have replayed them over and over again in my head, thinking about them in the most exhausted moments of late hours. I, like Job, have said things in the midst of my fear and hurts that are not reflecting of God’s character. And I have built up this irrational wall of fear that has kept me from enjoying the blessing that God has provided.

Its odd how books and four puffy scratches can remind me of a lifestyle better lived in light of God’s character. But the scratches still hurt.