In Front of Me

It was picture day today at the daycare. All the kids, overdressed and uncomforatble, lay sprawled out on the gym floor coloring pictures as I entered. "Ms. Monica!!! You're here early!" came my welcome. [Sure can't pass anything by five year olds.] After a few hugs and a few more children were positioned and postured for their parent's kindergarten memorabilia, it was forgotten that I didn't come with the normal morning routine. [I love how inviting kids are. While it may shock them at first to experience change, most gladly embrace it as the "norm".]

As I was leaving the building, the over-head speakers caught my ears. The warm familiar voice filled my mind as Bethany Dillon sang a new chorus,

Hallelujah, hallelujah

Whatever's in front of me, Help me to sing hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah

Whatever's in front of me, I'll choose to sing hallelujah

The lyrics spun through my mind as I traveled toward Wright State.

Whatever's in front of me, Help me to sing hallelujah

I walked into the social work department a little later on this morning. I sat down at a table with my classmate after discovering that Dr. Brun (the Department Chair) was not available until 12:30p. And it is in a conversation with my classmate that I realised that my priorities have shifted, yet again. My views have changed.

Whatever's in front of me, I'll choose to sing hallelujah

The pressing thought of choosing my senior practicum sight came to my mind. Time is coming closer. Still no final decision has been made. But it is in sitting there and speaking with my classmate that I realised I no longer was interested in Child Welfare. That narrows the field for practicum sites. I most definately don't want to practicum with older adults. And... so... um... where else is there? Those are the areas the social work department focuses on. And those are the areas in which I desire not to be.

Hallelujah, hallelujah

Whatever's in front of me, Help me to sing hallelujah

Hallelujah by definition means "praise ye Jehovah" or "Praise the Lord". While tis may seem like a very easy phraze to understand, the concept is a bit harder to apply. Try telling someone who is abused to praise the Lord. Or one who is lonely, "Praise the Lord." Or one who is depressed, "Praise the Lord." Is it just me or does it seem like these are a bit more difficult situations to praise in? Yet, the lyrics ring fo the truth that no matter where we go or what we do, God is worthy of our praise. How radical of a thought process is it to think of praising God in the midst of starvation, or abuse, or oppression? How radical to think of being grateful for all that God has given you when society cries for your hopelessness? Your helplessness.

Hallelujah, hallelujah
Whatever's in front of me, I'll choose to sing hallelujah

I am so blessed to be in the midst of decisions. I am so blessed to be where I am. And thank You, God, for guding my thoughts and my heart over and over again back into Your pressence. You are so faithful.

I have some decision to make. Some research to do. Some thoughts.

But it;s funny how no matter how much research I do, no matter how many different environments I find myself in, no matter the choices to be made right here and now, I can't help but feel that it doesn't really matter. It doesn't matter what "field" of Social Work I choose to specialize in, it doesn't matter where I do my practicum... something is coming. Something is coming in my life that will is so of God and so anti-me that no matter where I am, it won't matter. And when that call comes, my "yes" will resound through the streets of this shabby little town of Nowhere and "Radical" won't even begin to describe the leap of faith that will be made. It's not for my name, but for the only name worthy of Life... Jesus Christ.

So for now... it doesn't matter... oh, I will work hard. Yes, I will give my heart in service. No doubt about it.

But something, my dear friends, is surely coming. And I can't wait to be lost in it.

Hallelujah, hallelujah
Whatever's in front of me, Help me to sing hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah
Whatever's in front of me, I'll choose to sing hallelujah