I Have Never

This morning proved to be another fun hang-out with Ellen (Matt's older sister). We walked to Meijer together, engaging in random conversation. Back on campus we found ourselves munching and talking before Ellen's next class. Conversation flowed and soon another classmate joined into our discussion, sharing her own life experience. And it's strange, but our conversation invited another classmate whom proceeded to criticize my life choices and mock my inexperience. So here I find myself reflecting on this strange encounter and previous strange encounters that I have had with the particular classmate in the past.

It is odd but I have never forced this classmate to accept my views. I have never even asked her to bend her own thoughts to encumpass mine. But since I hold a Christ-centered view of life, I am labeled as "wrong" and "ignorant" in her eyes. I have never challenged, mocked or scorned her lifestyle. But for some reason, she finds the need to continually pick at mine.

I can't explain to her why I think the way I think and why I have certain values because I don't believe she hears my words anymore. I am well aware that my opinion is bias, but I think, nonetheless, that my classmate is so caught up in what she believes she's hearing that she does not actually hear my words. [How often have I done the same? I wonder.]

I say this not to rip up on my classmate and somehow gain some victory from slamming this girl behind her back. No, I say this because it breaks my heart to think that all the while I am trying to convey to this girl that I don't hate her, words (beyond my control) in her own mind are replacing my motions of friendship.

I guess I just need to learn a new way to show this girl that I am not judging her or her lifestyle when she approaches me next.

I just want her to know I care about her... and I am not here to judge.