Little Fingers

God has given me a very big challenge to pay off a Wright State Bill in addition to my regular monthly bills. I really have no idea how this is going to happen. But I trust that the Lord, my Rock and my Salvation will work in ALL ways for my good. But I just have to remember that He is defining "good," not me. So with those thoughts and fears in the back of my mind, I drove to Fairfield last night after borrowing money from my mom to fill my gas tank. I think both of her and I knew that she would never see the money repaid, but she smiled and gave me her check card anyway.

I played the evening away with 2 year old Katie and four year old Josie. Katie was extra sleepy, so she was a clinger, which is highly uncharacteristic of the nonstop "on the go" Katie that I know. Josie was her regular four year-old self, directing and permitting us to play. (Hehe, Four year-old are funny when they go through the bossy stage.)

The evening was wearing down and it was time for Katie to wish us all goodnight. Of course bedtime was never a good idea in Katie's mind, she would much rather stay up and play all evening, despite the yawns and the eye rubbings. She went down with fussing and crying. But after some rocking in the rocking chair, Katie found comfort and rest in her little crib. She's so precious.

Then is was Josie's turn. "Do I have to go to bed?" She began questioning the instant I exited Katie's room.

"Why of course, silly." I laughed. "We all have to go to bed at some point."
"Well, I'm thirsty. Can I have some milk?" was her attempt to avoid the bedtime issue for a while.
So we headed downstairs for some milk. And the bedtime inquiries continued throughout the milk drinking event. Josie, enjoying the brilliance of her four year-old smarts, decided that drinking her milk slowly would allow her to stay up longer. So I poured myself a large glass of milk (despite them having only this nasty health milk for the kids that I knew would taste awful).
"Do you think you can finish your glass of milk before me?" I asked, looking at her inch of milk that was left.
She grabbed her straw and stuck it in her cup and the games began.
I was right... the milk tasted horrible! But I have this cool ability to plug my nose without using my fingers, so the taste eventually dulled out. Josie won, but I was only two gulps from the bottom of my glass and was happy that #1 Josie's milk was gone and #2 mine was nearly in the same condition. "Ok, since you won, we can play one game before bedtime."

After we put together a puzzle, Josie happily scampered upstairs to her parent's room for bed. Josie and Katie share a room, so she gets the privilege of sleeping in mommy and daddy's room until Katie is thoroughly and completely beyond the stages of light sleep. Josie sleeps like a rock, so she never notices when mommy or daddy scoop her up and move her back to her room.

We, being Josie with some help from me, got into pajamas and tucked in the covers to satisfaction. It was cute to see how the little girl sunk into such a huge bed. She looked so small again. It reminded me of how little Katie is in comparison to an adult.
"Do you want me to sit in that chair for a little while until you go to sleep?" I asked, familiar with the routine.
"No," Josie giggled, "I'd never get to sleep with you watching me."

Makes my job easier, I though. And just as I was turning to leave the room, I heard stirring in discomfort with her decision.
"Did you want me to lay with you for a little while?" I asked, figuring that's what mommy or daddy did.
"Yeah," came her quiet, sweet voice.

So I laid down and she fiddled until she was comfortable. I closed my eyes to pretend to sleep, you know... speeds up the process. I opened my eyes a few times to see if it was working and saw her staring at me. "What are you watching me for?" I asked in a silly voice. She just laughed, that tired and out of control laugh that told me that sleep was quickly approaching for her little exhausted body. So I readjusted myself and pretended once again to go to sleep. In all reality, I was exhausted, it had been a long day for me as well. All was quiet, all was still.

And then I felt Josie poking me. What in the world is that child doing? I thought. Shhh, stay still and pretend your asleep. Maybe she's just wanting to avoid bedtime again.
But the poking persisted.

"What are you doing? " I finally asked.
"I want your hand." Came the small voice.
I extended my hand and her little fingers clung to three fingers, since her hand couldn't fully encompasses all five. And then in two seconds flat, she was out. I tried to remove my hand from her exhausted little grip, but as I moved, the fingers latched on tighter, holding me closer and refusing to let go. Such a sweet little thing. I waited patiently until she was in deep sleep and then moved her limp grip to a nearby stuffed friend of hers.

But as silly as it may sound. God really blessed me last night.

It was just another reaffirmation that my Lord will hold my hand through whatever comes. No matter who He uses to do it, He will find a way to tell me... to show me that His hand is and will forever be placed in mine.




I love you, Lord.