Blessed

I am so blessed by these little faces.

 hehe. Look at Abi-baby cheesin' it!

 Oh no... here it comes....

 TICKLE-MONSTER!!!!!

AHHH!!! Second TICKLE-MONSTER!!!!

My cast of characters make my world.
They're such little best friends. =)

Thanks, God!

Goodmorning everyone. 

To be Onesimus for God.

I've been to a few youth conventions in my life. You know, those mass-packed stadiums of exhortation and challenge. I've been to my fair share as a youth and then a good handful as a youth chaperon in college and then as a "youth pastor's wife" here on this side of life.

I've found over my years that the music has changed from being familiar singalongs to I-have-no-idea-who-that-guy-is songs. I'm sure, friends, that as the music has changed so have I.

Those wonderful youth conventions turned from just-right music to did-you-bring-the-cotton-balls music. Again, friends, I did the changing. And while some youth conventions end with outlandishly entertainment-only speakers, I have heard my share of good challenges and, what we "old people" of the faith call "charges" at revival-type settings.

In my quiet-time reading yesterday I felt the desire to check out Philemon again. Good old Philemon; wronged by his disobedient slave who stole from him and ran off (Sentencing the slave with a punishment of death according to Rome should he be found). Poor Christian Philemon.... now what? And then this letter arrives from a dear friend, mentor, and brother-in-Christ, Paul. And the letter says what? The slave is now a Christian and is the bearer of the letter? Now what should you do, Philemon? When put at the crossroads of trial, what should be the response?

The Bible never tells us. Thanks! Good suspense novel missing the last chapter! But again, you know how I like those unsettled-in-the-middle stories.

Only my heart shifts instead to the slave: Onesimus. Onesimus is translated to mean "useful". Paul and his witty self using the play on words that Onesimus is no longer useless, but instead in Christ is useful. Nerd joke alert! Gotta love that Paul.

And yet the term sticks. Am I Onesimus for the Kingdom? That is, am I useful for the Kingdom?

Each day we have an opportunity. I hope to seize that opportunity today. Not that my record could be cleaned or my name looked better upon, but that I would be proof that only Christ can do the changes that are inside of me. Just like Onesimus.

And one more thing, what if God calls you not to the exciting missions field where you get to witness first-hand the Kingdom work, but instead right on back to where you were running away from? Is He any less God? Is that cause to return to uselessness?

- just some thoughts today.

Look at that girl... She's happy.

I got a World Vision magazine in the mail today. Funny how excited my heart gets to see those two words, "World Vision". World Vision means more than a humanitarian effort. World Vision is how we have met Lydia and Tofic. World Vision is like a family connection.

This magazine wasn't like a normal one. Instead of selling gifts and household clutter, this magazine opened up a new window of Christmas - spirited opportunities.

A few days ago, maybe it was yesterday, I took my quiet nap-time allotment to count coins. Yes, I know machines can do that. Yes, I know those little paper wrappers don't carry any alluring factors. But this counting had purpose.

I emptied the contents of our missions jar on the table. We've been just adding our spare change to the collection for a number of months now. And as I started counting and wrapping I wondered how awesome of an experience it would be to sit around with our Sunday School class, or a group of friends, and do just that... count and wrap coins for missions work. I began to sing praise songs - interjecting numerals in there as I got closer to the brinks of my personal math skills. =)

I was pleasantly surprised by the amounts that laid before me some 45 minute or an hour later after shelling and counting and handling what felt like a small amount of coins. Funny how God shows up. I wondered what these would be used for. I wondered why God had put it on our hearts to collect this money. When we set the goal to save the coins and then find a place to donate the money once the jar was filled the day felt so far away. And while the jar is not filled yet, I felt the need to count and wrap up the coins.

Then today the magazine came. World Vision. I love those words. I flipped open the pages and looked at all the pictures with my toddlers today at lunch. Daddy's at seminary all day today, so in many ways the house has felt unusually quiet - even though he's always at work during most of the daytime anyway. But at lunch he usually joins us and he was missed today - as he is every Tuesday.

"Look at that boy!" my little talker interjected. "What's that?"

"A goat."

"Why?" the famous and expected response.

"Because some Mommies and Daddies live in places where it is hard to grow food or where there isn't enough food. You know how you tell me you're hungry and I can just open the fridge and make you lunch? Some families can't do that. Some families don't have enough food. So Daddy and you and me and Abi have been putting away our money in the missions jar. Remember putting coins in the jar? And we are saving the extra blessings God has given us to help feed other families. One way we can help feed other families is by sending them a goat. You know how we drink milk? And cows make milk? Goats make milk too. And so a goat would help a family drink milk."

She smiled. "Look at that girl.... She's happy!"

That's exactly right, little girl. Exactly right.

Funny how tears well up in your eyes sometimes when you know in your heart that something is right. When you know in your heart that you are right where God has planted you... and you are doing your best to grow.

I wiped away a few tears as Rachael looked over the magazine with fascination and continued to comment on all the little boys and girls' faces. Abi kept referring to each animal we saw as "meow"s and after Rachael corrected Abi's labeling we talked about how each of the different animals could help families.

The goal is not just to send an animal. The goal is to serve the least of these with a worshipful heart. They may come to the Lord, who knows, maybe not having to worry about their food source will allow their minds to think more of Jesus. But all I know is that Jesus said very plainly that when you do unto the least of these you do unto Me.

We just want to do unto Jesus more and more each day.

- to the least of these for now and forever more.

-- if you are interested in helping yourself: www.worldvisiongifts.com
Check it out.

Devoted?

Ready to fly?

 
My best friend woke me up this morning. No, I'm not referring to my husband, he's still sleeping, or a pet. I have found that in setting a devotion wake-up time goal i have never had to set an alarm. I just mysteriously wake-up 15 minutes earlier than my goal. That put me right out on the couch after my lovely morning bathroom trip and gathering my Bible at precisely 6:30a.

Good morning Jesus.

How close does He feel today?

You know, I have found in memorizing Scripture and trying to live it out that when Jesus feels close it is not a burden. It is a privilege. When Jesus feels like a best friend, I want to read His letters to me. I want to read His advice and guidance to my heart. And when He feels far away, I find other things to replace the time.

Oddly enough I don't believe our faith should be a feeling. I believe we need to train our selves and whip ourselves into shape. We can never do all our training ourselves, we need to pray for the Holy Spirit's changing in our hearts. But I believe many of the "seasons" in Christianity are really disguised Apathy emerging in our lives. O yes, I have been through dry seasons where it feels like my prayers are hitting the ceiling, but I have also found that while it is a challenge sometimes to think beyond ourselves (ahem, it's a challenge all the time in my selfish heart), I must push myself.

No change will just happen on it's own. I don't believe this is because God cannot just make a change happen. Beyond salvation, in which I found myself all of a sudden "getting it", all other change has happened gradually. As I have asked for more of Jesus and less of me, I have slowly gotten just that. But I must keep asking.

Some days I don't ask so well. Some days I want more of myself. And it's in those days that I must push myself.

A while back I happily accepted my apathy toward devotions. "Everyone struggles with them," I told myself. "This has been something I have always struggled with: the consistency of a devotion time," my own enabling continued. And where did that get me? Continuing to struggle to "find time" for a devotion.

Matt came home from a youth conference with a challenging phrase: "Devotions are a promise. Every day you feel like breaking your devotion time, just go ahead and tell your teenager they can break their purity promise that day. Afterall, you're breaking your promise that day too."


I didn't like that. Purity really matters to me. I can't imagine throwing it all in the can for one day of fleeting passion after waiting for 22 years to save sex for marriage. It forced me to think in real terms.

No, that didn't instantly fix my struggles with devotion. Every day I have the battle, many times a day, flesh verses Spirit. But I must show up to the battle!

My routine started like this: grumbling at the early time, apologizing to God, reading the Word, writing some prayers in my journal, and repeating that process for a week of exhausted morning devotion. We all must start somewhere. Then i started going to bed a little earlier. The grumbling cut back and I started apologizing for sins other than my grumbling. =) And sooner than I thought a month or so had passed and it was just normal to wake up early - even on a Sunday, and start my day off in the Word. There were days it sucked - I was in a bad mood. I hadn't slept well. Vacation came. I failed. But I just kept thinking about telling Rachael she didn't have to guard her purity that day. Now people, I am aware that she is 2, but purity is a heart-training that begins with modesty, initially for the sake of "because Mom says privacy is important", and expands into a lifestyle of waiting for what God has on the horizon for you. I just kept imagining telling Rachael in her teenage years to "go have fun" and "forget about it for today" afterall, "you'll get another chance tomorrow." See how different devotions look in another point of view?


I challenge you to lay it all on the line. You'll mess up - I did. But I challenge you to force the priority and stop accepting your own excuses. You will be surprised what a heart for Jesus emerges from diving into the deep. You'll be surprised at the clarity that emerges in refocusing on His Truth daily.

 Am I ready to fly today?

Or just drag my feet?

... in Christ Alone.

Sunday Morning Recap

At the Sunday lunch table.

Me: "So Rachael, what did you learn in Sunday School today?"

Rachael: "[Specific little girl] wasn't sharing and I was listening."

- rotten.-

Me: "What did you LEARN in Sunday School today?"

Daddy: "What was the lesson that you learned?"

Rachael: Quickly, "I don't know" Shoved noodles into her mouth.

- Thank you, teenager.-

Daddy: "Yes you do too know. Think about what you learned."

Rachael: ..... "about Josiah."

Mommy: eyes the story paper sent home with Rachael.

Daddy: "What did he do?"

Rachael: Quickly, "I don't know." More noodles.

- we wait -

Rachael: "He cleaned up."

Mommy: "then what happened?"

Rachael: "I don't know."

Daddy: "Did he find something?"

Rachael: "The BIBLE SCROLL!"

Mommy: "And then they read it to the people and the people knew what God wanted them to do.

Rachael: shoveling in more pasta.

Mommy: Turning to Abi, "Is that what you learned too?"

Rachael: "No. She didn't learn anything. She just walked around, she wouldn't do a paper and she ate animal crackers."

- Sorry Abi, better luck next time. ;)


And thus you have it: the Sunday Morning Recap... from the mouth of our two year old.

(sigh) - love her.

The Gentle Healer

Sorry for the silence for a while. There has been much to think about and much to pray about lately. With some addition of alone time this past week and the addition of some quiet time this week rocking Abi's teething, tired body, I thought I'd share some mid-thoughts.

A few weeks ago our Sunday School class spoke on hindrances that we personally have in sharing the Gospel with those we care deeply about. I was thankful for the honesty and the grace amongst the group as a few shared their hearts.

Sharing the Gospel can seem so formal sometimes and even unnatural in feeling at times. Some could venture to state that the Spirit is not leading if the situation feels awkward. But so much of the situation feeling awkward could be in your own mind as well. Sure there is the feeling of rejection that adds a bitter taste sometimes. But it is such a tricky piece of life because while we don't intend to walk on eggshells in our world, we also want to be careful not to tromp around with spikes on our boots.

Maybe I can explain it better like this:

When Jesus is everything to you... When Jesus is the air you breath...
When Jesus consumes your thoughts, your heart, your intentions...
Are you then sharing the Gospel or just living?

See how can I keep from wanting to share Him? He's my best friend. Of course I want you to meet Him. He changes everything. He makes the hurts livable. He makes the trials bearable. He makes hope from devastation. He is Life to the full!

Not everyone is ready to accept Him. Not everyone is ready to have faith like a child. And according the Word, not everyone will accept Him. But everyone will hear.

I've been listening to this song while rocking my littlest through her teething needs. "The Gentle Healer" by Selah. It's a cover of the song done many years prior. But I include it here for a few reasons: I like about the song that it is written from the position of an outsider trying to rationalize and understand who Christ says He is and proves Himself to be. And yet at the end of the song the singer is not converted. Many Christian songs end in conversion, yet few continue in their state of lose ends. It's important not to get discouraged as a believer... it's all a process for each of us. And while we have the Answer to Life beating in our hearts, Christ is certainly not to be taken lightly. I enjoy how in this song it ends with "some folks who followed Him, they say that the Gentle Healer is the Truth, the Life, the Way."


At some point it must be us making the decision if the Gentle Healer is our Truth, our Life and our Way. Only we can make that decision. And there are consequences on both sides of that choice.

Yet the journey to that choice is just that... a journey and our jobs as Christians are to come alongside of the walker and disciple them to the choice of Jesus. It is the walker's choice, but our Master has made it more than clear that He is a Gentle Healer, gently healing our hearts to salvation should we chose to have faith in His ability to Heal us.

- just some thoughts rattling about in my head.

Discipleship

The greatest challenge I have ever been given is that of Christian parenting, AKA discipling. I'm not talking about television-raising parenting or any other cop-out parenting. I'm talking about attempting to make disciples and raise your children to honor the Lord.

There are the normal exhaustions of parenting that we selectively forget when looking back on the early years. Any parent is faced with the frustrations of talking back, constant noise, discipline and punishment. Those are hard. Those try your core. And those you can't get away from because your child will follow you. ;)

But there is a greater call that will strip you to your core - making disciples.

The Word tells all Christians to go and make disciples. So we arm ourselves for the outdoors, prepping ourselves in the quiet of the morning for the tasks at hand in the day. We strap on our kindness and our faithfulness and our godliness as we seek to intentionally love others to Christ around us.

But what happens when your disciplings are waiting for you before you have gotten your shower? What happens when your disciplings cry out over the baby monitor for the 15 billionth time in the night and they are just as demanding of your example the following morning? Discipleship moves to a whole new level.

And while discipleship is a shared responsibility for a husband and wife when a husband is home, during working hours discipleship is a mother's responsibility. And no matter how much joy and enjoyment you may find in discipling your children, there are still those moments of returning to your home with toddlers in tow and tears in your eyes because no one showed up for their discipling shift in the nursery again. Those moments are hard, when it feels like you alone are investing in your children with minimal, if any some weeks, breaks to re-prep and re-focus.

I am grateful to those who go out of their way to disciple my children. I am grateful for those who require nothing more than "thanks" from me in exchange for personal time to regroup and recollect myself. Their gift is generous to my children and overly generous to me. Gratitude feels like too small of a word to use to express my thanks. And i try to express my thanks as often as I can to those who so selflessly take on my Mommy hat for a few hours.

(sigh).

Discipleship is hard. Seeing your deepest flaws in your children makes you want to be a better Christian and leave a better legacy. But constantly being faced with your greatest challenge day in and day out, 24/7 is also a challenge in itself.

Some days I show up for the challenge. Other days I wish my kids could follow a real example of a good Christian.

And while discipleship is QUITE the challenge, it carries quite the rewards as well. It's the investment in them that is a reminder of God's investment in us... while we were yet sinners.

- just some thoughts on discipleship in the home.

Held

What happens when we start applying the Word of God like as if it's the Truth that it is? What happens when we cling to the Word and the power of God's promise through it?

You know, it's been slowly growing in me the utter power that God has given us through the Word. Many days it can fell so normal and common-place as if somehow a distant part of the Christian walk. It's "old texts" feel just that when new crisis arises. It's "Sunday School" applications feel more like some dying off church when we face the daily battles and struggles of our culture and our generation. What does the Word really have to say about what I am going through?

It is a challenge to state with your livelihood that every word in The Bible is Truth. Not applicable only to one person, or one time, or one situation, but applicable and True.

Can you imagine what would happen if we were to fall on our faces before the Lord and instead of lifting up countless Sugar-Daddy prayers, beg Him for more of His Word to be alive within us? I can't imagine how it would change us if we would just apply more of the Word of God.

Suddenly gluttony, homosexuality, adultery, anger, fear, depression, greed, gossip, impatience, hatred, hypocrisy, impulsivity, being judgmental, anxiety, bitterness, complaining, being critical, disrespect, doubting, envy, boasting, inferiority, superiority, pride, masturbation, lying, love of money, pornography, laziness, profanity, rebelliousness, stealing, self-centeredness, uncontrolled thoughts, lack of discipline, lack of loving, lack of forgiveness, revengefulness, gambling, materialism, pleasure seeking, intoxication, immodesty, smoking, apathy, neglect of Bible Study, prayerlessness and so many others would be answerable. And through the Spirit Christians everywhere could overcome those demons left over from their life before Christ.

The Scripture would truly be alive and sharper than a double edged sword in our lives, cutting out the garbage we allow to master us.

Matt and I have begun a challenge to use the Word to put off our old self methods - you know, those "always there to trip you up" sins, and put on the new self. You are going to meditate on something. You are going to do something during a frustration. You can't just stop doing a sin without replacing it with what God wants us to do. So Matt and I have been using a tool that helps us identify our Achilles heal sins, put on the Biblical character attributes that are the complete opposite of those and then memorize specific Scriptures to guard our hearts against those sins. In other words, we're trying to take God at His Word.

God promises that the Holy Spirit will be our guide. So we're just trying to identify him better and agree with God that our sins are unacceptable.

Are we going to be prefect? Not this side of the New Jerusalem.

But I don't want to be the same. We are called to grow in Christ. The way we did things yesterday is not good enough. Only through the Holy Spirit can true change take hold, but we're called to be proactive in seeking righteousness, not just hoping it'll fall into our lap one of these days.


I am reminded of this song in thinking over the Truth and the power of Scripture applied in our lives. Amidst the tragedy of losing her newborn son, a woman penned these honest words about God's love and character. In the face of fleshly responses to be angry and broken and beaten down amid the tragedy, came this woman's response to her son's death. I'm sure every day wasn't a walk in the clouds or anything close, but the honesty of her unwavering faith is alive in this song.

I want a faith like that. A faith that doesn't have to be tried by trials and tribulations to produce a right view of God and His Word. But a trust that even though we are in a sinful world that has so many sinful consequences and hurts, God's Word is Truth - now and always- and it testifies about the true character of a more-than-worthy-of-our-praise Father.

I hope you choose today, in this moment, and every moment during today to let His Spirit conquer your flesh. It is a true challenge, but as I am reminded again and again,

"No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape, so that you will be able to endure it." - 1 Corinthians 10:13

God has provided all that we need to overcome our temptations through His Word. Now it is time for His people to take Him at His Word.

And "if hope is born of suffering. If this is only the beginning. Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior?"

- to God be the glory.

Communicating Worth

I have recently been reminded of the value of communicating worth in each conversation.

We've all been there: standing beside a person on the phone who just interrupted your conversation to "take this" obviously unpressing phone call. We get the "just a minute" hand motion. Or talking to someone and realising that they are just waiting for you to stop talking so they can continue to share their story. Or maybe it's the "I know you are dying to know all about me" people who never seem to ask you anything about your day.

It all boils down to expressing worth.

We want to feel valued in a mutual conversation. I want to feel like there is a reason to stand face-to-face, not so I can watch you text on your new iPhone. You value me being there. You want to spend time with me. And that's why you are here... and so am I.

I think we have endangered ourselves with the "I'm always available" age. If you can get ahold of me 24/7 that means whomever I am with needs to take a number. While certainly having access to Matt is a wonderful part of our day - sharing in silly signs that I have passed on my walk with the kids, or that random phone call to share what our crazy toddler just said. And yet there is an oddity and a distance that waiting causes in a relationship when "I just have to take this call" happens.

We've all done it and returned to the "now where were we?" moment. But I have been reminded once again that sometimes that moment has passed and static is left on the line.

It makes me evaluate how I communicate their worth to others when in a conversation. Rachael and Abi will always interrupt - they're not perfect- but I am communicating your worth to me by putting them on hold for you. I am saying, "I value you" by turning off the TV when you call. And I am saying, "You matter to me" by being present during our conversation.

The call can wait. The text can wait.

You matter.

I chose to be here with you.

- hope I can continue to make a conscious effort to be present ... in spite of life. =)

Reflective Rain

Today is a raining, thinking day. Ever had those? Seems like I get my best quiet thoughts done on rainy days. Maybe it's because the weather forces us to stay indoors. Maybe it's because staying indoors produces chores-work, which allows for individual kids play which, thus contributes to quiet thinking time.

[We're on the rebound from a stomach virus here on the homestead. Thus, I am washing everything anyone who was infected may have even looked at while they were sick. We don't want any revisitors.]

Rain kept us sitting in the car a little longer than usual at our destinations today, listening to the comforting melodies of Sara Groves' new Cd. Something about the rain and Sara Groves that makes the world's spinning feel a little more slow and manageable. Quieter... easier... slower.... ever mom's dream?

Just been thinking today. Pondering the Word and it's application in our world. Thinking about where God has our little crew and where He is taking us. This journey always brings up memories of sappy Mother-treasures and lonely valleys. Nope, not depressing things, just a day and a time to ponder.

 I was told over the weekend that I am a good Mom. And I wonder what constitutes being a good Mom?

Is it that I have sacrificed my social life for runny noses and dirty diapers?
Is it handing in concert nights for middle-of-the-night fevers and vomit crew?
Is it making the choice to "give up dreams" to have kids - as if kids are not purpose in themselves?
I wonder how we measure a good mom these days?
Does that mean I'm old fashioned and therefore strike a chord with someone else struggle to find their identity among piles of laundry?
Am I one of those "traditional" moms who keep to themselves and don't let anyone into their corner of crazy?
Or am I a newfangled, "my baby must wear the finest", selfish Mom who is too busy taking pictures of their kid to interact?
Maybe I'm a mixture of all or none in any given moment.

What constitutes a good Mom?

I'm not asking for props to be given to me. Just wondering how I classify a good mom.
Does a good mom mean her kids are quiet? What if quiet is a byproduct of fear?
Does a good mom mean her house is clean? What if she never plays with her kids?
Sure there are the balances and the moments of "we're just going to get ice cream and ignore the dirty bathroom". But maybe a good mom is one that knows her weaknesses - however many- and tries to parent her child to not carry on those same weaknesses.

I was asked if I would want someone to follow my example. Is it bad to say "no?" There are so many better examples out there. So many closer Christians to Christ that could give you a much better glimpse of the Perfect Example. Maybe it's better for you to follow those examples, cause seriously you could end up with the fruit I have if you follow my example.

What constitutes a good Mom?

Is Jesus a qualifier?

Hope so.

Thinking about the Proverbs woman (Proverbs 31) - yowza! Did she do all that stuff in one day? Or is it more a synopsis of her week - or weeks. Maybe I'm not such a good mom afterall. Or maybe thinking I'm a good Mom will stunt my growth toward being a good Mom. Is the aim to be a good Mom? Or is that a byproduct of wanting more of Jesus?

Hope so.


- Moments of reflection.

Don't we all need a day like that?

Hope you are finding your soothing rainy day soon.

National Emergecy

It's hard to believe it has been ten years already. I remember it like it was yesterday: coming into my high school class to a CNN broadcast. It was ironic to have the TV on in the first place, but I took my regular seat. There was a building with smoke billowing out of it and I remember thinking, "What country is that cause it looks surprisingly like New York?" No one in the class spoke, excluding the hallway chatter before the bell rang. The teacher stood speechless, glued to the TV. She wrote our assignment on the board, clearly not paying any attention to her crooked writing while remaining attentive to the TV screen. We all wrote down our assignment in our usual programmed way. I saw the second plane hit in real time. I wondered why anyone would run a drill like this. Didn't they know how much fear they could instill. Then it hit me - our country was under attack.

Today is a mixed-bag of feelings with the shock of the 10 year anniversary of 9-11. It's a mixture of sadness and yet the odd normalcy of the happiness of a beginning a new day. It's that eerie haunting oddity of the tragedy... in the face of the new life and rebirth of today. In so many ways it still feels surreal, even though I have visited ground zero and seen the footage. It still feels like a bad movie sometimes, this disconnect from New York since we are "so far away." And yet now that my horizons have broadened, New York doesn't feel as far away as it used to feel. In other ways it feels dangerously close - too close.

I'm not sure I ever got over the shock of 9-11. I know that I am blessed to not have to personally grieve for the direct loss of family or friends due to the tragedy. Last night I listened to the recorded audio transpondings amid airports and the cockpits of the 4 hijacked planes. Maybe it's because I was so young - merely a Sophomore in high school that made the whole thing feel oddly small for a while. My world felt smaller compared to the things I know and understand today. I couldn't even drive, people, so seriously my world consisted of a town-radius. It was odd how I felt the fear of "they're on our soil" and yet the safety of "we're not nearby anything governmental." I didn't know Wright-Patt Air force Base was in Dayton.

And then I remember seeing the footage of what looked like New York City was on fire after the Towers fell...

It is still quite overwhelming. It brings tears to my eyes at times, now that I know more to the magnitude.


My eyes have been slowly opened to parts of the breadth of the tragedy and I have become slightly less shell-shocked. I wonder if there were any children on the planes. I wonder how terrifying it would be to look up from your desk nearby New York's tallest buildings and see your neighboring building "on fire" or witness the second plane hit. I can't imagine the wives and husbands and Mothers sitting by the phone praying for the "I'm okay" phone call that never came.

My heart goes out to the families of the victims of 9-11. I don't really have words to say, but I offer my silence and my prayers in honor and remembrance of September 11, 2001.

Stats

So with moving to an "updated" form of blogger I get all kinds of screens of stats about my blog. Some are fun. And some are depressing. LOL.

I guess it's kind of neat to see who checks my blog, within reason. There's a wonderful "site feed" list that informs me of how little people are checking my blog and from where they are fed or where they begin. I have learned that most people just type in the URL. And yet, the greatest number of hits I get from an external site is from facebook. Go figure. I had begun to wonder if me posting my blog posts there was annoying people. You know, the kind of thing you block others from appearing on your wall for - - too many posts.

But then I found another fun stat that tracked the countries - yes, people countrIES- that have checked my blog. And here's what I discovered:

U.S. some 1,327 views

Argentina – 37

France – 2

Netherlands – 2

Canada – 1

Germany – 1

Nigeria – 1

Russia - 1

 
Kinda interesting, really. Nigeria, I know who you are. Canada could have been my sis on vacation, but also could not have been. France could have been an old, dear friend from elementary school, Cecile. Netherlands? Argentina? Germany? Russia?

Kinda fun. And then I read the next stat - not a single on of them returned this month. hehehehe. Clearly my posts this month have been - uh, lacking to say the least. =) Oh well, the month has just begun. =) I still have time to lose a few more. hehehe.

Thanks for reading, all. It's flattering and terrifying all in one. =)

A Call to a Challenge

You know, I have found the joy in praying for over-seas missions. What a wonderful job that we States-bound Christians can do! And yet I have discovered something unexpected along this journey of doing what God tells me to do... I miss Theresa Reed. It's funny how close Jos, Nigeria feels some days, and yet there is a truth that we cannot get past... it's not next door.

There are times when I just want to walk next door with a plate of cookies. Or I just want to poke my head in and see how things are going and what more I can pray for. Or I just wish the delay of information and the silence were not so thick at times. Sure I am living in the "get information now" generation. I can't even imagine what Rowland's Bingham's family did as they waited for weeks on end just to find out if Rowland had made it to Africa - let alone survived the next day. So i know I am spoiled by Will and Theresa's blog and emails. But there are days that it's not enough. There are days that I just want to run over there... and maybe never come back (don't worry, I'd bring my family. hehehe).

Maybe that's my missionary heart speaking.

I have found along the road of sponsoring Tofic and Lidia that I just want to give them a hug some days. I'm still a stranger in many aspects, but they are a huge part of my life and my thoughts and my prayers.

We got a letter from Tofic yesterday - the smile was unerasable (that may not be a real word, but you get the point). I am so blessed by that little boy and the prospect of loving him from afar. I may never meet him, but I pray for his salvation daily. We talk about him frequently - not because I'm some weirdo stalker (ahem) but because he matters to me. He is a life worthy of investment for the Kingdom's sake. And God called me to love him and I don't know how to do that half-heartedly.

But some days it just feels too far away. I want to be there. I want to feel the dirt in the air. I want to hug Theresa. I want to see with my own eyes and breathe it all in with my own lungs...

And yet I have the utter blessing and privilege of praying for them all, which in turn makes me feel so much closer.


...


Anyway... I just wanted to comment on the irony and challenge of distance amongst believers and their mission field.


- love to my little Lidia, football-loving Tofic, and giving-it-all Will and Theresa.

Riding in Luxury

The best way to make a long drive enjoyable...

According to Rachael. =)


Thanks again, Jessica Thornell for getting Rachael a sucker the size of her head from your  trip to Disney Land. She HIGHLY enjoyed it. =)

Playdough

So the other week we made an attempt at making playdough.... and it was a success. Thus I share the pictures of our triumph and fun:

Kneading the colors into the dough.

 Vanna showing off our colors.

 Let the play begin...

My Mom's playdough creation a few days later. =)

We had a blast and when Abi woke up from her nap - voila! Playdough!

P.S. I found the this recipe to work well.

Cup Runneth Over

I was talking to Matt on our vacation - I know, CRAZY. And one night I just busted out a new revelation (brace yourselves) that I am satisfied with where God has me.

Have you ever had that revelation. not an I'm comfortable with my devotion level and therefore going to plateau. But just a joy and a satisfaction with exactly where God has you and is teaching you and is growing you. I hope you feel that every day.

It's funny but it's so easy to become over-booked and exhausted by "too much to do that won't get done" or the hard parts of life that I don't step back and enjoy the ride. It really is a joy. And I think that while it is challenging, God has blessed me beyond measure. My cup runneth over for sure.

Have you ever stopped to ponder your blessings? Not just the amount of stuff you have in your house, though a good wake-up call to just how blessed we are by what we have is a sobering experience. But also to the extent of enjoying the purpose God has placed before you. Do you feel like your cup is overflowing with goodness from the Lord?

Maybe you too need a refresher here and there. It's so easy to look at the "too much" of life and find yourself overwhelmed or discouraged by those "am I ever going to learn this" lessons. Maybe you are too overbooked and over-extended that you have created a stress that hinders you from serving the Lord wholeheartedly and joyfully. I was in that mode for a while too. Declutter and get back to the basics. God doesn't have us here to do 2,000 things, but to do things wholeheartedly and well. Accomplish Kingdom work with purpose and intentionality. I've found that as i have slimmed down to the core things God wants me to do (identified through prayer and God's priority revealing) it's like a weight has lifted off and I have become a better Mom and wife and Christian.

God is not here to serve me. He's not alive to rescue me from my self-imposed stressors. He's not a sugar-daddy God handing out blessings void of hard lessons. As Christians it's important to continue to evaluate how much we are serving God verses expecting or desiring to be served by God. And in this evaluation expectations change.

I have found God growing me from a complainer (to be honest) to a thanker. As God has grown my heart of gratitude and opened my eyes (Thanks be to God!), I have been convicted and cleansed and begun to serve Him better right where I am. The situation has changed only in minor ways, but my heart is so less self-pleasing and self-seeking.

Therefore, I find myself satisfied and overwhelmed by the blessings God has already given me. My family, my friends, fellow real Christians to spur me on to God-worship and away from self-worship, my country, my freedoms, my status that I may help and encourage others... the list could go on for days.

A few weeks back - wow, I think it's been over a month- Rachael and Abi (sort of) and I went around the house and put a post-it label on everything we were thankful for God giving us. In an effort to learn gratitude and that God is taking care of us, I was hoping to start planting more intentional seeds of God-honoring. The post-its littered our house for weeks until they lost their sticky and were one-by-one moved to the world of waste. =) But it opened my eyes to all the physical blessings that surround our family and that God has provided. There was something changing about walking into a room covered in "Thank you, God" post-it notes. Alters the way things are seen.

So how is your cup running over?

What are ways that God has blessed you?

And how are you using those blessings not to worship yourself, but to worship the Lord?



- humbled, blessed, taught and changed.

Jehovah Jira

"Jehovah Jira" - God the Provider.

Exhortation. A spiritual gift of encouragement. Exhortation is designed that another brother or sister in Christ would not just receive a pat on the back or a high five, though those are nice, but that a brother or sister in Christ would be spurred on toward Christ in the equation. Encouragement that after the transaction the sibling in Christ would be more like iron sharpening iron, not for the purpose of pointing out flaws and being judgment, but instead for pointing out Christ-like behaviors and encouraging martyr-like faith moments. A pressing on and encouraging of a brother or sister in Christ to run the good race, fight the good fight and keep the faith. Exhortation.

I've heard the argument time and again that women, especially, are in need of encouragement. Women are the "unsung" heroes of the kitchen (have you tasted my cooking? HA!), the martyrs in the home and the "unrecognized" population that keeps the household together. Therefore, I have heard the argument that women need "me-time" to recharge their batteries. Who doesn't like a little me-time, right? But while I too feel the comforts of the words roll off my lips and the overwhelming "agreed" label stamped on that statement, I wonder at it Biblically. Where in the Bible does it guarantee us a right or a just duty to "me-time"?

Please don't hear me wrong; recharging MUST occur for a woman to serve God through her family. But in everywhere that I have read and experienced in my life that recharging does not come from pedicures, massages (oooh, but sign me up!) and pampering days, but from the Lord.

I think we have begun to look at it a little backward. We have women's conferences to "recharge our batteries" and women's events to "press us on" and encourage our beaten down hearts. First off, I have nothing against corporate exhortation. It's nice to be among like-minded people and there certainly can be value to having an "I have been there" crowd of experience. But there is a deeper sweep that we must be careful of as women in Christ. This sweep in women's events says, "You deserve this" and "you need this" and "you need me-time through this conference". Here's the heart issue: where in Proverbs 31 does it state that the woman is seeking her-time? The premise of "I need me-time" is a heart of dissatisfaction. I am not happy with where I am and how things are, therefore I need a respite. It's not to say that the weak need a break, but it is to say that the context of "women's events" is often that we are overworked, exhausted with our responsibilities and pulled apart by our requirements. To me that is nothing like the Proverbs woman. The proverbs woman isn't staying up late at night to get stuff done because she has to. She isn't waking up earlier than her family because someone has a gun to her head. She is joyful. She loves her role in Christ. She adores her family. Her love compels her to service. Her desire for God compels her to real life.

Are you tired, women? Are you overbooked? Are you swimming in too much service to your family and your friends and your community? Do you feel like you’re expected to be everywhere at once and do everything to everyone? Or are you flowering where you have been planted? Do you view your motherhood and your wifehood as a wonderful opportunity to serve the Lord? I'm not talking about a Snow-White moment, but I am talking about Joy coming in the morning! (And no, that's not only for morning people. =]).

I would challenge the "need" for women's ministry events to "recharge your batteries" and for large women's conferences to "rebuild yourself" and "endure for the next year." I think that's a wrong view. The only recharging we need is Jesus - not some elaborate concert or run-down of exhausting speaker lists that leave us in emotion and physical need of a respite from our respite. Don't get me wrong, it's nice to have a worship set that helps us see beyond our window of Christian women. It's really neat to look out over a crowd and see a sea of women giving their hearts to the Lord. In some ways it feels like a little glimpse of Heaven-worship. But those concert and event junkies and even we semi-junkies need more of Jesus. We need to lose the "this is what I deserve or need to endure my Christian faith" thought. Do we really believe the Word is all we need? Was that even in the running of how to regain strength?

I'm going to step out on a limb here and say that if you are not enjoying your role as a wife or a mom and are finding it more draining than a "look forward to" experience then you need to evaluate your devotion times. Are you viewing God's gift of being a woman of faith correctly? Are you prioritizing the Word in your daily life? Are you seeking God as your only source of strength to renew your mind and change your heart? Or are you looking toward concerts, women's events and big gatherings to find your steam?

It is so dangerous to think of needing a "once a month" or "twice a year" event to define your Christian walk when the very Words of Life sit in multiple copies on your bookshelf.

Again, there is value in women's events. There certainly can be moments of Christ-honoring and self-sacrificing exhortation (and there can also be moments of "we need to control our tongue" that we always need to be looking out for). But we need to be VERY careful at making sure events are not advertised and feeding this "renewal" policy if we are at the same time making the claim that Jesus is more than enough. Events can have renewing qualities, certainly, but that is the job of the Holy Spirit administering through the Word of God that is present at the event.


Is Jehovah Jira enough?

Today, in this moment is Jehovah Jira enough?

It is a daily question. "Am I proving You are enough today, Lord?" Does my speech reflect my dependence on You? Do my thoughts about my husband and children reflect how sustaining and rewarding of a God You are to bless me with such responsibility? How about the way I respond to correcting my children, what does that say about what I believe about You?

Living a life of faith and being a Proverbs 31 woman pushes us to say, "in this moment, I surrender what I think I deserve for Your mind, Lord." And then to repeat that phrase in the next moment. and the next. and the next throughout the day. It's not about playing a role, but receiving your ministry from the Lord. For when I view motherhood and wifehood and house-keeper-hood (a technical term) through God's lenses they are not exhausting. Sure my body needs rest, God's seven day model proved the need for rest. And rest I must find and make. But my role does not become a hindrance of a burden when I shed all the other 48,572,865,728,067,580,267 ministries that ask of me and put worship into serving God through my family. Because out of my worship God through serving my family comes serving the poor and needy, praying for the Body of Christ, seeking opportunities to serve others and encourage others in their faith, God-opened eyes to the dying world, and a righteous walk in the Lord. Isn't that what we want? Daily lifestyle worship?



Jehovah Jira! You are more than enough! You provide all that I need and so much more!



Thank You, Lord.

U Univeristy

We're all in danger of it... it lurks around every corner... and suddenly you are enrolled in it... when you least expect it:

U University.

My eyes are increasingly opened to the sad truth that while we all struggle with U University, there is an overwhelming amount of people that choose to be permanently enrolled. We can get our degree in drama, or the American dream, or even humanitarian acts and still be enrolled in U University.

I was saddened recently to have my eyes opened to the affects of U University. I often use that term with my toddler when she's having a selfish moment. She doesn't get it, but it helps me to identify it and try to eliminate it from my life as much as possible this side of the New Jerusalem.

It doesn't surprise me when the lost act like the lost. But it does break my heart when the "saved" act like the U University of the lost.

We can call it teenage drama to help us pretend like our kid's 4 year enrollment in U University is normal. We can call it "college age" to help us write off their disinterest in anyone but themselves. Or we can fess up and realize that U Universities serve U Universities and result in wasted time and space.

Please hear my correctly, I struggle with U University just as much as the next guy, but self-control shouldn't be thrown out the window because we all struggle with it. It would be like making rape permissible because there are so many cases of it in our country.

It's in times of U University that I find myself desiring to be the Holy Spirit. "Snap out of yourself!" I want to holler at a Christian, "Look outside of you! Are you here to serve yourself? What does that communicate about God?" And while guiding someone in love and compassion is much different than hollering, I am glad there have been Holy Spirit convictions in my life and not only "I am representing the Holy Spirit wrongly" volunteers.

I've seen a good host of self-proclaiming Christian examples of U University: those angry at their friend's efforts to celebrate their birthday, those constantly playing the drama card to remain in the spotlight, those playing the superior game to reside in others' minds, those constantly seeking more for their families and always complaining about how little they have... sound like anyone you know?

Sadly, we all know them. And many times we are those people.

But God has so much more for us.

It continues to blow my mind at how true the Proverb is: "Sheol and Abaddon are never satisfied, nor are the eyes of man ever satisfied." [Proverbs 27:20]

Sheol is "the nether world" and Abaddon is "the place of destruction". They are always seeking more to come and reside. And just as the broad path is so much easier and so much more comfortable and so much more appetizing, so are man's eyes never satisfied.

That proverb is sobering when I start my U University thoughts. I will never be satisfied - my flesh will never be satisfied, therefore, I MUST self-discipline and deny self for Christ to be alive in me.

A challenge.... and a lifestyle emerge.


"And He [Christ] was saying to them all, 'If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake, he is the one who will save it. For what is man profited if he gains the whole world, and loses or forfeits himself?" (Luke 9:23-25)

A Little Something About Love

While in an adoption training we heard this story:

There was an adoptive/foster mom on the trainer's caseload back when she was doing casework. This foster mom went to her foster son's IEP meeting at his school to advocate on his behalf.  Everything was addressed in that meeting from the child's behaviors to his current educational needs. And this mother sat on her own at the meeting in representation of her boy.

She noticed some cruel glances shot in her direction as the topic of the child's "born addicted" status arose regarding his current behaviors. The boy sat silently and watched his foster mom as he noticed the judgements placed on her shoulders.  The foster mother sat contently, continuing to advocate for the boy's services.

Not once did the mother state that she wasn't his biological mother or distance herself from the drug abuses inflicted upon this boy through, "it wasn't me" deflection.

Instead, she just took it all on her shoulders and left the meeting, having done the best she could for her boy.

The school district was unaware that her boy was not her biological son.
According to that foster mom, that "foster" label was on a need-to-know basis.



- Sometimes love is so strong it's hard to put into words.

Good Stewardship

Every time I hear the word I think of a dollar sign: Good Stewardship. Growing up I always thought this had to do with your tithes and offerings and making sure you were a good steward of your money - AKA giving your money to the church and generally not being selfish when the offering plate rolls around. It's like somewhere on the plate there was the engraving, "A good Christian gives abundantly because 'it all belongs to God."

How many times have you heard that phrase, "It all belongs to God." I can recall primarily hearing that phrase from those wanting to borrow money after spending their own on a new pair of shoes for themselves. Or there was that one time that I remember hearing that phrase roll off the tongue of a young mom as she overwhelmed her kids with loads of Christmas presents and filled 1 or 2 Operation Christmas Child shoes boxes. It all belongs to God.... is my life proving that?

Good stewardship.

I've been reading a lot lately (condolences to my sister who read 58 chapter books in a contest and failed to win the Nook prize). I've been doing some studying, as mentioned before, and generally filling my post-kid-bedtime time with some 10+ books while watching Matt's new football video game out of the corner of my eye. The themes are running together. The suggestions good, but a bit overwhelming at times. And the tones of the books range from "grab your torch and pitch-forks!" to "homeschooling is a preference." But one theme, sadly, has only arrived in one of the 10 homeschooling books I read( even though a good handful of them were "Christian" in nature) : Good Stewardship.

It's not the "Go Green because we're running out" good stewardship, but the "be thankful for what God has given you - cuz it's not yours" good stewardship. Yet it didn't stop there...

What about our time? We like to call it God's, but have we sat down and realised what we are communicating through our time?

What am I saying to Rachael through the time I spend Online verses the time she sees me doing house chores? (My husband's too nice to say an amen to that statement.) What am I communicating to my mom and Rachael and Abi when they see the green pool water out the window because I haven't made time to get to it yet? What about our overgrown weeds in the front flowerbeds? How about the wrinkled laundry? How about when we spend all day running around doing errands and we don't have time to play together? Now I'm not saying I'm a crazy slob who doesn't do house chores, but I am saying there is much to be said in how you spend your time.

This is not some big guilt trip. This is evaluation.

What am I communicating to God about how I value what He has given me?

What do I feel I deserve?
Should I feel I deserve things?

Matt and I spent some date night time together last night. It was nice to do something one-on-one that wasn't an adoption class. We've been trying not to stress out our family by leaving the kids with sitters 3 nights per week between the adoption classes and Wednesday church so we took a mild break from date nights and included the girls in our date nights for the past few weeks. We will be done with 2 per week adoption classes this week, but the value of knocking them out before Matt's schooling begins and between vacations was deemed higher than date nights. (Don't judge me, we exchanged adoption classes spent together for date night for 3 weeks. lol)

So last night we were talking about life and getting back on the same page and sipping couponed smoothies - mmmmmmmm. And we just talked about life and training up our kids in righteousness and serving the Lord and how it matters what we do to convey Jesus to our kids and whatever future kids God may add to our family. It was nice. Reaffirming. And right.

I think God is pleased with what we communicated through that use of our time.

And while we have more time and resources and actions and service to constantly be in evaluation of, it's not for the sake of being a super-Christian. It's for the sake of communicating clearly and deliberately that we are grateful and blessed and appreciative of God's provision, through time, finances, children, blessings. And we have been entrusted 2 children, thus far, to train in righteousness - that Christ would be exalted louder from under this roof.

Funny how when you think about teaching a child, God schools you.


Thank you, Jesus.

Like Africa Does It

So due to the heat wave - mmmm, yes (dripping with sarcasm)- we have been entertaining ourselves indoors. And also due to the heat wave my poor littlest one has a won't-go-away-and-very-painful diaper rash (yes we went to the DR. and got some helpful cremes) that is thriving on the heat and moisture. While I try to introduce my children to God's worldview through our missions wall and talking about God's work around the world, I wouldn't have anticipated Africa to be visiting our hygienic living. So we've been doing life like Africa does it for my little Abi-bare-bum.

Abi being bare bummed means we are spending a lot of time playing with washable large Legos on the kitchen floor. Thus, I introduce you to our Lego creations:

Mommy's creation" "The Garden of Eden"

Rachael's creation: "A Wonderful Cage"

Abi's creation: "Destruction" 

(she's more into the abstract arts.)

And for obvious modesty reasons, baby girl is not pictured beside her creation.



In other news: 

Matt and I are 1/2 way through our adoption trainings. And can I just say here that while obedience to God's call in our lives is a wonderful thing, these classes can be like PULLING TEETH for our social work majored, my foster care worker past and our "we can really read the policy manual too" annoyances. But alas.... perseverance, friends, perseverance.

We headed out to Aunt Jes' work picnic/festivities. And I will post an entire post to that goodness. But let me just say here that it was a BLAST!

We got a bunkbed set off freecycle for the whopping price of $0. And while we need to purchase a ladder to accommodate the set when we plan on bunking it, I'd say free is an awfully nice price.

O, and then there's this critter, who has enjoyed the freedoms of our preparation of our guest bedroom (second kid bedroom) to receive whomever God is adding to our family. Yeah, this freedom-seeker, took to contemplation atop of our queen box-spring before it found a new home elsewhere (the box-spring and mattress found a new home, not our cat... I promise....).

 

Jungle-boy!

So that's us lately! 

On the horizon:

• our first family mission trip - tagging along on the youth mission trip. We hope not to be a distraction, but to delight in Jesus together, while we still get our NEEDED naps in. =)
• Home assessor - whom I LOVE- makes her first home visit the day after we return from our mission trip. And yes she will see our parenting of our crazy-off-schedule kids then. 
• Family vacation to Myrtle beach 7 days after returning from the mission trip - no we're not COMPLETELY insane, but yes we are driving... for 13 hours... with a 1 and 2 year old. 
• Then Matt starts back to seminary for the Fall semester. I've been so use to his break that it's going to be a real adjustment. 
• And intermixed in that 4 week span we will be completing the remaining adoption classes (three hours a piece of "joy" - refer to above commentary).
• And then by mid-September we will be completed with classes, waiting for our homestudy to be finished in 1-2 months post our class completion and then praying and waiting for our phone calls. 
• Oh yes and add in some serious closet cleaning and repainting of our second kid bedroom amidst all that - and beginning some homeschooling amidst that as well..... 

IT'S GONNA BE GREAT!!!!!!

You Said

"You said, Ask and you will receive
Whatever you need
You said, Pray and I'll hear from heaven
And I'll heal your land

You said Your glory will fill the earth
Like water the sea
You said, Lift up your eyes
The harvest is here, the kingdom is near

You said, Ask and I'll give the nations to you
O Lord, that's the cry of my heart
Distant shores and the islands will see
Your light, as it rises on us

You said Your glory will fill the earth
Like water the sea
You said, Lift up your eyes
The harvest is here, the kingdom is near

You said, Ask and I'll give the nations to you
O Lord, that's the cry of my heart
Distant shores and the islands will see
Your light, as it rises on us " - Hillsong United




This song brought tears to my eyes this morning. I can't help but be overwhelmed when I hear something so Biblical and so devoted to God's mission. But it becomes more than just an outpour of emotion.

Church? Are we asking for the nations?

Does our heart break for the nations without the Lord as their God? Are we compelled to pray for open doors and tendered hearts, willing to hear and receive the gospel? Are we praying for tenderizing to the harvest? Are we praying for more laborers for the harvest? Does it break our hearts to think of the lost? Do we feel charged to go? Do we feel compelled to do something- anything- that more would be added to God's number? Are we asking for the nations?

O that distant shores and islands would see your light and it rises on us!!!

Please, Jesus.


- to God be the glory.

Because it Matters

My heart is overwhelmed with the joys of our nap-time missions readings, following my dear friend, Theresa's blog, and witnessing the small pieces coming together in terms of our adoption. "How beautiful are the feet of those that bring good news..."

Read something interesting in terms of worldviews and the shaping of them. An excerpt from the "Christian Home School" book I've been reading by Gregg Harris reaffirmed what Matt and I have witnessed in textbooks; "These studies make it abundantly clear that public school textbooks commonly exclude the history, heritage, beliefs, and values of millions of Americans. Those who believe in the traditional family are not represented. Those who believe in free enterprise are not represented. Those whose politics are conservative are almost unrepresented. Above all, those who are committed to their religious tradition-at the very least of as an important part of the historical record-are not represented.

Even those who uphold the classic or republican virtues of discipline, public duty, hard work, patriotism, and concern for others are scarcely represented. Indeed, the world of those virtues long advocated by believers, as well as deists and skeptics such as Thomas Paine, Benjamin Franklin, and Thomas Jefferson, is not found here. Even what one might call the "noble pagan" has ample reason to reject these inadequate and sentimentalized books which seem to be about an equal mixture of pop and propaganda.

Over and over, we have seen that liberal and secular bias is primarily accomplished by exclusion, by leaving out the opposing position. Such a bias is much harder to observe than a positive verification or direct criticism, but it is the essence of censorship. It is effective not only because ti is hard to observe-it isn't there-and therefore hard to counteract, but also because ti makes only the liberal, secular positions familiar and plausible. As a result the millions of Americans who hold conservative, traditional, and religious positions are made to appear irrelevant, strange, on the fringe, old-fashioned, reactionary." (quote by Professor Vitz in a study of textbooks in the American public classroom).

If you are still with me after that in-places-a-bit-heady quote (sorry I didn't warn you), please allow me to sum it up. Many textbooks portray one side of events in a persuasive manner to sway their readers to agree with particular sides of historical platforms or particular thought-processes about historical events. Therefore, while in a history class the topics of teaching are indeed historical, the biases are not being taught in fair playing fields. So when liberal agendas are the norm, the student concludes that traditional or conservative agendas are "out-dated" and that there is no value in entertaining such ideas.

This is an interesting argument that is running rampant in our culture and many other cultures. In many societies elders are considered to be wise and useful and full of experience. But in "new-age" thinking remaining young is an ideal - college students marking many backings of political change - - look at who the targeted voting age is? Age is considered "past your prime", I mean take the hair-dye industry as an example. If it was honorable to grow in age and maturity and wisdom I wonder if so many would try so desperately to look young?

Beyond that there comes the Christian scope of thinking in which we just need to be aware of the biases coming through teaching. I'm not arguing that all students are corrupted and warped by the public school system - seriously, I would be a victim. But I am arguing that in family conversation around the dinner table we need to know what we are up against in terms of the past 8 hours of our child's education.

Worldviews slip in from anywhere and everywhere. We, Christians, must apply ourselves to willingly accept and reject those things that make our seeking for obedience to Truth successful. This is no doom and gloom post, just has been another eye-opener when it comes to accepting Truth and rejecting lies.



God, Your Word is Truth.
-To God be the glory.

Back to School.

I've been studying for the past week or so to go back to school. No, people, I am not planning on pursuing my Master's (HA!), but I am pursuing preschool again. And I'm looking into generalized education and how to school another and (let's be real) be schooled by another. Matt and I have decided to pursue homeschooling for as long as God continues to press it upon our hearts and allow me to be home with our kids. The schooling needs of each of our kids will be evaluated and prayed over continually to make sure we're offering what they need, not just want they or we want. While I have a few minutes before Rachael is in the "school age" crowd, I figured there's no better time than now to learn and grow in my education philosophy. Wow that sounds technical.

I've been reading all kinds of curriculum recommendations and philosophies regarding home schooling. Some have sucked - just being honest. And some quite honestly have rebelled against my structure-needs. Like I don't think I could be the homeschooler who has "unschooled" kids - you know, the one that the book talk about as just letting natural curiosity and non-booked development drive a child's education ONLY. The mom who doesn't push her kids or really classify them as any grade level or require them to read of write or do math or.... While home school permits flexibility, that kid is going to need a job some day. No one's going to pay them to run around outside barefooted and sing to the flowers. But seriously count me in if you find someone who'll cut you a check for that biz! Yet there is part of me that certainly is not seeking to create geniuses with no friends or social skills. Balance wins this contest again. Man, seriously, buy out your stocks in balance - it's creeping into every category.

Just been interesting lately to think of all the potential in raising Biblical kids. Rachael memorizing her first Bible verse (1 Peter 3:18a) at 2.5 has been challenging my Biblical parenting. The child just popped up one night after VBS with the theme Bible verse memorized. After picking my chin up from the floor I realised I could be underestimating her abilities here. Thanks again to her VBS teachers for teaching and reteaching and reteaching that verse to her. We now hear it over the baby monitor as she sings it in the nursery. From the mouths of babes, people. What is 1 Peter 3:18a you may wonder? "For Christ died for Sin, once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous to bring you to God." She doesn't know what it means yet, nor does she know it fully in her heart. But we're to raise our kids with the Scriptures bound on their foreheads. And it's not just the kids that should have it on their minds (wink, wink).

I've downloaded 5 songs from Amazon from the 1,000+ songs that are Scripture put to music for the purpose of memorization. Then I found 12 online for free. Today I made a CD and have put it in our car. Funny but when Scripture is all around us, I find myself wanting to hear more Scripture and thinking more about Scripture and already Rachael has been mouthing the words from the back seat. I'm no ingenious (HA! I didn't even spell that right the first time) Mom, people, obviously someone else had that idea first - over 1,000+ times before I did. But I want Rachael to learn Christ's heart and His philosophy. It's about being goal-focused and intentional. I know she's soaking up everything like a wet sponge - Abi too (only Abi prefers to chew on the sponges)- now how can I help her soak up more eternal things?

"Home Schooling" has taken on a far greater subject line that I once believed. There is so much more than "just surviving the school years" that home schooling has to offer. And just as parenting has so much more to offer through the lense of Christ, home schooling can have so much more to offer through the lense of Christ.

Light among darkness is important. Agreed. But to have light among darkness you must first have light. And in order to first have light, Christ needs to be in us. God has been opening my eyes to that lately. Yes, we Christians are called to be light among darkness (in our community, in schools, in church, in our homes), but my kids aren't Christians yet. So once they are Christians, Lord willing, then they have the opportunity to serve in their mission fields among darkness. Then our focus will be switched from Christ-exposure to equipping to Go. But it's all at one step at a time. Christ is their choice. They can choose Him or deny Him. And while my hopes and prayers are certainly that they would choose Christ, I just want to provide the most real example possible of the beauty and glory of our Lord and my obedience to raising kids as God desires is all I can give. Only my goal is not just to encourage Christians, but to encourage them to become devoted and obedient Christians. There is a HUGE difference in the two (and some would venture to say that pew-sitting Christians are not Christians, but I'm not the judge of obedience or salvation).



All I know is what a blessing it has been, and I pray it will continue to be, to watch them begin on their paths of possibility.


- To God be all the glory.



... now back to reading and praying.

A Good Villain.

So a few weeks back Matt and I watched Tangled - you know, Disney's new movie. And quite honestly I loved it. It wasn't the typical overly-cheesey princess tale and yet didn't succumb to slipping in a foul word here and there amid perverted jokes, which sadly make their ways into Disney movies (though I could have done without the "cupid" drunk guy in the bar). But I was happy to find a different kind of villain - still evil and twisted, but more psychological and a different kind of evil than Disney's typical villain.

And quite honestly, I just loved this song- a reprise of the original "Mother Know's Best" sung in the beginning of the film at the introduction of Mother Gothel's psychological evil and manipulation of Rapunzel.



I love her "No? ....Ooh...I see how it is." Hehehe. But I love her musical theatre voice. Such a wonderful voice - and a great villain. Is it bad that I like the villain so? Maybe it's just that she is able to portray evil without a direct threat of physical harm associated with her evil ugliness. Only directly at the end of the film does the evil turn violent toward the "Prince". I like that the villain has layers. And quite honestly, I like her dramatic numbers. =)

So enjoy the little excerpt and feel free to go on thinking me crazy. =D

Mother Gothel and her slightly arrogant self. hehehe. =)

Other News

So we received our home assessor information in the mail (our caseworker) from the county. YAY! And so we're hoping to call her in Tuesday to get clearance to start our adoption trainings on Tuesday and Thursday of next week (Matt goes to camp the following week so we want to double them up for this upcoming week). Just one more piece of the puzzle completed. =)

Ending it All

Welp, we finished up our week with a Sprinkler park trip on Thursday and Free-for-all Friday. Lexi enjoyed randomly meeting friends at the park, which was a good thing cause my two were more interested in swinging and cuddling and watching than playing. Lexi played hard, running between the sprinkler park area and the regular park area. And when my two showed beginning signs of needing a nap, we headed home. All three of them knocked out and slept for at least an hour.

Friday we went for a bike ride. Matt stayed home with the baby because we don't have a helmet for her yet (we're going to get her one today). And I took Lexi on her bike and Rachael in the pull-along carrier attached to my bike. We were out for a half hour, but we worked hard in the hilled areas of our community. And it was fun teaching about stop signs and bike signals and traffic awareness. We also found a children's picnic table at a local garage sale for $4. Yes, people! That's what I'm talking about. I had been looking around for one to aid in our outdoor lunches and also to prove as an outdoor water-color painting opportunity for my paint-dripping toddler. So I was happy to have invested a whole 4 dollars in hours and hours of artistry fun. =) Lexi's Friday at our house was concluded with a little board game playing, sandbox fun, and hide-and-seek with Uncle James (our Friday night and Saturday add-on).

I have included a few pics from the park play. For obvious reasons I have no pics of our bike ride (not that skilled) and I didn't take any pics on Friday - - camera battery needed a rest. =)

 Smiley Swings

 Genuine Joy.

 Initiated Helper.

 One of the few moments I could catch her still enough.

=)

 Weeeeee.

 She really just loves the swings. =)

Ahhh yes, so hard to be blond in the sun. 

So in all it was a fun, and more busy than usual, but a good week.