To the child who’s stranger appears after 6 years of silence and calls himself Dad when the family you have learned to call Mom and Dad and who bought you that new swingset were getting ready to have your last name too: I understand that you can’t seem to verbalize the flood of confusion, hurt, and fear you feel and I promise to knock over the blocks with you and look the other way when you yell at the ball as you kick it repetitively into the wall. I also will never judge you for wetting your pants because your Dad’s face reminds you of a past you couldn’t be saved from in time enough to protect you from the hurts.
To the child who’s Daddy hurts his Mommy and all you can think to repeat during play is “Run, he’s coming!” And as Mommy pretends to understand Daddy’s English while she secretly plans to leave the country with you and return to your big family, I completely understand why you are running out of the room more and shrieking without consoling. I promise to run after you in reminder to you that you matter enough to me to pursue, and to speak back to you in movie quotes and song lyrics because your Autism reverts to that familiarity.
To the child who is sad because “Mommy forgot” again to feed you and you are wearing the same shirt from yesterday. I understand when you need to scream about your belly hurting, even when your screaming looks like cussing at me and trying to kick me. I promise to always have breakfast and to pursue you with that breakfast because I want you to know that it matters to me that your belly needs a “morning snack.” And I also promise to sit with you and read stories to you as you rest on the couch because you “didn’t sleep well.”
And to the other five children in my group and those across the hall that also join my group, I promise to find out what you are looking for and what it is that you are trying to say through your kicking, hitting, screaming, scratching and biting – even when you are doing those things to yourself.
And to the baby girl that I am leaving “at home” to tend to these others…
i miss you.
and thank you for letting me hold you close as I remove my work shoes.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
Gold and Lace
Just wanted to share a few pictures from our Easter.
Rachael and Daddy.
Rachael and Mommy.
Easter Dress Posing.
After she was done tasting the flower
she decided that her dress and hand combination was better.
- Hope your Easter was nice.
Thursday, April 09, 2009
Pure Remains
Many times grace is only seen in light of "saving from hell" as if grace has no further purpose. It's so easy to see salvation as a one-shot deal. Once and for all. While some beliefs are born of the idea that one can lose their salvation - as if they have that much control over what can or cannot stay in the grasp of God's hand - many see salvation as a mere point in time without a continuum. Paul speaks of salvation as a past, present and future aspect (past - a point of acceptance, present - sanctification, and future - when Christ returns). But this morning God opened my eyes to another blessing of grace. This is grace, an invitation to withstand the Potter's kiln. Grace not only allowed mankind to be saved from hell, but grace also gives mankind a justification to stand on. By justification I don't mean "for only in Christ we are justified". This is true. But I speak further in the word justification such as Paul addresses in James - Grace through works. We cannot earn salvation. This is evident for who of mankind can say that they are perfect. For through perfection- withholding God's word to perfection - Christ made a way for mankind. But after receiving this free gift of salvation, grace offers the chance of standing before God with works that do not burn up in the kiln. In the word, the day of judgement will be split into two judgements so to say. One judgement for those who have not accepted Christ. And then a second judgement for those who have accepted Christ. In that judgement for those who have accepted Christ, Psalms speaks of God's judgement in terms of bringing an offering to a Potter's kiln. In a kiln all the defect is burnt away and the pure remains.
This is grace, an invitation to withstand the Potter's kiln.
Grace, therefore, opens an invitation to all those whom have accepted Christ to build a life of righteousness that will withstand the fire of the Potter's kiln. Works have always been preached as an extension of a Christ-centered heart - that Christ's sacrifice would spurr us on toward works as we desire to tell others more and more of Jesus' love. But even beyond the mere obedience to His call of discipleship, it floors me that God opens this invitation of rewarding our obedience on both earth and again in heaven. What is mere man that God would lavish this grace on us? God's Grace's complexity continues to baffle my mind. For while God commands us to obey Him in discipleship, His grace makes a way for us to even enter His Courts and also enter His Courts with offerings. One can accept Christ in that form of grace and never move beyond merely an acceptance. While others can accept Christ and continue to stand on the foundation of grace to build righteous works that will withstand the kiln. For this is truly freewill. For if you choose not to do works, the foundation is not taken back. It's just that the crown you cast at His feet will be void of a lifestyle of obedience and purpose. If all you do is give your heart to God, He is thrilled at His child coming to Him. But all the more God is delighted in His children who do righteous works for the glory of His Name's sake.
For this is Grace, an invitation to withstand the Potter's kiln.
This is grace, an invitation to withstand the Potter's kiln.
Grace, therefore, opens an invitation to all those whom have accepted Christ to build a life of righteousness that will withstand the fire of the Potter's kiln. Works have always been preached as an extension of a Christ-centered heart - that Christ's sacrifice would spurr us on toward works as we desire to tell others more and more of Jesus' love. But even beyond the mere obedience to His call of discipleship, it floors me that God opens this invitation of rewarding our obedience on both earth and again in heaven. What is mere man that God would lavish this grace on us? God's Grace's complexity continues to baffle my mind. For while God commands us to obey Him in discipleship, His grace makes a way for us to even enter His Courts and also enter His Courts with offerings. One can accept Christ in that form of grace and never move beyond merely an acceptance. While others can accept Christ and continue to stand on the foundation of grace to build righteous works that will withstand the kiln. For this is truly freewill. For if you choose not to do works, the foundation is not taken back. It's just that the crown you cast at His feet will be void of a lifestyle of obedience and purpose. If all you do is give your heart to God, He is thrilled at His child coming to Him. But all the more God is delighted in His children who do righteous works for the glory of His Name's sake.
For this is Grace, an invitation to withstand the Potter's kiln.
Divine Economics
We all want to be justified in our choices and our ways.
"He did that because he is thoughtful."
Or "She did that because she is kind."
We want our choices to speak volumes of our goals, dreams and families.
We sincerely hope that when our lives are boiled down to words that somewhere in the mix the good outweighs the bad. We all sincerely hope that someone else will see the intent behind our words and actions. That our purpose would not be hidden in the dark.
These things have gone through my mind constantly over the past week and a half. If you look at my life would words like sacrifice, faithfulness, and determination come from your lips? No, I'm not living to please you or anyone else for that matter. But I just want my purpose to be obvious. My drive to be backed by real meaning.
We're testing out some more budget restraints in an effort to work toward our family goal this coming January. And I'm finding that with a goal readily in mind it's easier to deny small temptations when you already have what you need in your hands. When weighing the costs and benefits, I find it easier to say no to extraneous non-goal driven expenses. But it also makes me ponder my goal/purpose drive beyond finances.
Is my life purpose obvious? Or could my words and actions leave others guessing?
Am I just wasting time and energy in smelling the flowers when the garden needs so much work?
I find it necessary to step back sometimes and say, "Is this working? Is this where I should be? Are my intentions justified?"
But evaluation is nothing but smelling the flowers, unless it's used to help the garden grow.
"He did that because he is thoughtful."
Or "She did that because she is kind."
We want our choices to speak volumes of our goals, dreams and families.
We sincerely hope that when our lives are boiled down to words that somewhere in the mix the good outweighs the bad. We all sincerely hope that someone else will see the intent behind our words and actions. That our purpose would not be hidden in the dark.
These things have gone through my mind constantly over the past week and a half. If you look at my life would words like sacrifice, faithfulness, and determination come from your lips? No, I'm not living to please you or anyone else for that matter. But I just want my purpose to be obvious. My drive to be backed by real meaning.
We're testing out some more budget restraints in an effort to work toward our family goal this coming January. And I'm finding that with a goal readily in mind it's easier to deny small temptations when you already have what you need in your hands. When weighing the costs and benefits, I find it easier to say no to extraneous non-goal driven expenses. But it also makes me ponder my goal/purpose drive beyond finances.
Is my life purpose obvious? Or could my words and actions leave others guessing?
Am I just wasting time and energy in smelling the flowers when the garden needs so much work?
I find it necessary to step back sometimes and say, "Is this working? Is this where I should be? Are my intentions justified?"
But evaluation is nothing but smelling the flowers, unless it's used to help the garden grow.
Thursday, April 02, 2009
Caution: Fork Coming
I have come to a point where an opportunity has presented itself as a possibility.
And I find myself stuck between wondering if I have asked too much, or if this is finally the fruit of my reality about how I have felt, or if I am merely being selfish.
I wouldn't be the only one missing it.
I wouldn't be the only one sacrificing.
And I wonder if those two things coupled make my wants too selfish.
Have I acted in impatience or is this opportunity a blessing response to an honesty I did not want to possess?
Father, please guide my steps in reverence of your Sovereign Will's timing.
I don't know anymore.
And I find myself stuck between wondering if I have asked too much, or if this is finally the fruit of my reality about how I have felt, or if I am merely being selfish.
I wouldn't be the only one missing it.
I wouldn't be the only one sacrificing.
And I wonder if those two things coupled make my wants too selfish.
Have I acted in impatience or is this opportunity a blessing response to an honesty I did not want to possess?
Father, please guide my steps in reverence of your Sovereign Will's timing.
I don't know anymore.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
How It Is
Things around here have been. Work is. Home has always been.
We got a cat. We really inherited him from Mom and Dad.
He fits well. He helps with his purring and loving in the morning.
I miss her. I knew I would and time doesn't change that. And at different times during the day it's like the flood just catches up with me. And I want to hold her more than anything.
And I wonder how God ever gave up His Son. Especially when all I want to do is hold her close.
I just want to hold her - while I still can.
The youth are doing well. They appear to be enjoying their 'prime years'.
The weather's turning nicer. Evening walks are relaxing.
Exercise is endurance building.
And life is happening.
And every moment I get to sit next to my best friend on the couch, with his dog nearby, cat on the back of the couch and our baby in arms feels like I'm right where I'm supposed to be.
We've started a challenge. Philippians by April 2010. 2 verses per week. Me and Matt. And with God's fueling, I really believe we can do it. On my own... not a chance!
And so it goes, and so it goes... and you're the only one who knows.
We got a cat. We really inherited him from Mom and Dad.
He fits well. He helps with his purring and loving in the morning.
I miss her. I knew I would and time doesn't change that. And at different times during the day it's like the flood just catches up with me. And I want to hold her more than anything.
And I wonder how God ever gave up His Son. Especially when all I want to do is hold her close.
I just want to hold her - while I still can.
The youth are doing well. They appear to be enjoying their 'prime years'.
The weather's turning nicer. Evening walks are relaxing.
Exercise is endurance building.
And life is happening.
And every moment I get to sit next to my best friend on the couch, with his dog nearby, cat on the back of the couch and our baby in arms feels like I'm right where I'm supposed to be.
We've started a challenge. Philippians by April 2010. 2 verses per week. Me and Matt. And with God's fueling, I really believe we can do it. On my own... not a chance!
And so it goes, and so it goes... and you're the only one who knows.
Coming
... When doubting floods your soul
Though all things feel unjust
You open up your heart
You find a way to trust
That's a little stone that's a little mortar
That's a little seed that's a little water
In the hearts of the sons and the daughters
The kingdom's coming
When fear engulfs your mind
Says you protect your own
You still extend your hand
You open up your home
When sorrow fills your life
When in your grief and pain
You choose again to rise
You choose to bless the name
That's a little stone that's a little mortar
That's a little seed that's a little water
In the hearts of the sons and the daughters
The kingdom's coming
In the mundane tasks of living
In the pouring out and giving
In the waking up and trying
In the laying down and dying
That's a little stone that's a little mortar
That's a little seed that's a little water
In the hearts of the sons and the daughters
The kingdom's coming
"Kingdom Comes" by Sara Groves
-It's all a process. -
Though all things feel unjust
You open up your heart
You find a way to trust
That's a little stone that's a little mortar
That's a little seed that's a little water
In the hearts of the sons and the daughters
The kingdom's coming
When fear engulfs your mind
Says you protect your own
You still extend your hand
You open up your home
When sorrow fills your life
When in your grief and pain
You choose again to rise
You choose to bless the name
That's a little stone that's a little mortar
That's a little seed that's a little water
In the hearts of the sons and the daughters
The kingdom's coming
In the mundane tasks of living
In the pouring out and giving
In the waking up and trying
In the laying down and dying
That's a little stone that's a little mortar
That's a little seed that's a little water
In the hearts of the sons and the daughters
The kingdom's coming
"Kingdom Comes" by Sara Groves
-It's all a process. -
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Returning to Autopilot
"That must be hard," is the typical response to anything relating to returning to work. Everywhere I turn someone else is attempting to empathize with a feeling that does not exist. I am not anxious about leaving the baby. I am not depressed. I am not falling apart and crying every morning. In fact, the transition was oddly easy.
Because at 5:30 in the morning when the alarm goes off I hit autopilot. A list of things hits me that I have to complete before opening the garage door. A surreal silence echos through the otherwise sleeping household. Get socks, fix hair, brush teeth, grab yogurt, get bag... With two kisses, an "I love you" exchanged and a replacing of a pacifier that is needed from the rustling I find myself opening the garage door. Autopilot soars through the quiet neighborhood. Autopilot gets in line with all the other brake lights. Autopilot half-heartedly sings along to Celine Dion's dominance of the car speakers. Autopilot goes at green and stops at red. Autopilot parks, walks, opens office door, turns on computer. Autopilot does not think about what else could be done, what else could be more productive than the 7-4, milestones that are being missed or time that is vanishing. Autopilot just goes, goes, goes. Autopilot doesn't count the minimal sleep hours because then it would have to own them. Autopilot doesn't think. Autopilot just goes, goes, goes. And it is just hoped that by the time autopilot fails I find myself back with the ones I love.
This is how a wanna-be-stay-at-home mom works a full-time job.
Because at 5:30 in the morning when the alarm goes off I hit autopilot. A list of things hits me that I have to complete before opening the garage door. A surreal silence echos through the otherwise sleeping household. Get socks, fix hair, brush teeth, grab yogurt, get bag... With two kisses, an "I love you" exchanged and a replacing of a pacifier that is needed from the rustling I find myself opening the garage door. Autopilot soars through the quiet neighborhood. Autopilot gets in line with all the other brake lights. Autopilot half-heartedly sings along to Celine Dion's dominance of the car speakers. Autopilot goes at green and stops at red. Autopilot parks, walks, opens office door, turns on computer. Autopilot does not think about what else could be done, what else could be more productive than the 7-4, milestones that are being missed or time that is vanishing. Autopilot just goes, goes, goes. Autopilot doesn't count the minimal sleep hours because then it would have to own them. Autopilot doesn't think. Autopilot just goes, goes, goes. And it is just hoped that by the time autopilot fails I find myself back with the ones I love.
This is how a wanna-be-stay-at-home mom works a full-time job.
Sunday, March 08, 2009
"There she goes...
there she goes again..."
Friday night Rachael decided to sleep for eight hours. I woke up after 7 hours because my body hasn't slept for seven hours straight in about 8 or 9 months now so it's forgotten how to get good sleep in one chunk. I wondered if Rachael's night was a fluke.
Last night, even with the time change, Rachael slept for 8 hours. Too bad I woke up a few times last night and when the alarm went off it felt like my body had been through a blender. So two extra strength Tylenol later and there is much rejoicing in this household.
It's funny, but in Rachael's sleeping patterns she seems to dabble in the next highest amount a bit before settling for a little. She briefly started at 3 hours at a time at night, bounced into 4 hours and then chose to stick with it, then she jumped to 6 for a couple of sporadic nights, then settled on five for a while, then hit 7 twice,and settled on 6 for a while, and now she's hit 8. So even if she goes with her trend of sticking with 7, that's completely doable. (And right in time for Mommy returning to work.)
Now if only we could teach my body not to hate me...
I had another realization last night as the baby smiled a huge animated smile at me, that baby's ours. Blew my mind again.
Thanks be to God!
Friday night Rachael decided to sleep for eight hours. I woke up after 7 hours because my body hasn't slept for seven hours straight in about 8 or 9 months now so it's forgotten how to get good sleep in one chunk. I wondered if Rachael's night was a fluke.
Last night, even with the time change, Rachael slept for 8 hours. Too bad I woke up a few times last night and when the alarm went off it felt like my body had been through a blender. So two extra strength Tylenol later and there is much rejoicing in this household.
It's funny, but in Rachael's sleeping patterns she seems to dabble in the next highest amount a bit before settling for a little. She briefly started at 3 hours at a time at night, bounced into 4 hours and then chose to stick with it, then she jumped to 6 for a couple of sporadic nights, then settled on five for a while, then hit 7 twice,and settled on 6 for a while, and now she's hit 8. So even if she goes with her trend of sticking with 7, that's completely doable. (And right in time for Mommy returning to work.)
Now if only we could teach my body not to hate me...
I had another realization last night as the baby smiled a huge animated smile at me, that baby's ours. Blew my mind again.
Thanks be to God!
Monday, March 02, 2009
Will We Be Speechless?
I'm sitting here at the computer serving breakfast to our little one. And it hit me, how many moms' life goal is to be able to provide a typical meal for their little one? Matt and my little one will hopefully never experience the unmet need for food. While our family goal for me to be stay-at-home mom may be met one day in the near future, I can always work if our family hits a hard spot. How many mothers in our world would die for that opportunity to provide for their children?
I was surfing around this morning and reading about a small step that Matt and I have discussed. Tears came to my eyes as my heart broke for the little ones in need. It's sad how typical it is for our culture to arrogantly sweep people under the "third world" rug as if someone else out there will help pick them up. And if we are going to make a difference in their life, we would much rather arrogantly parade into their lives and show them how to use the Internet or how to be a business man as if they are so poor in their own cultures and therefore we should save them from themselves. Yes, the Christian church has made mistakes in the past of being the leading body of "we'll teach you how you should live" influences, but the Christian church has also been the largest and most consistent body of people who have come to successful aid of the poor. No other organization has provided disaster relief, aid to the poor, and sustaining of third world country's resources and lifestyles in the world. And many times the Christian church fully funds their own missions at literal cost to the workers volunteering to go provide aid.
The youth group will soon be embarking on a 30 hour famine. While 30 hours of fasting in acknowledgement of life outside of North America (and sadly even inside in some places) may sound useless to some, it is at least a start in having a more Christ-centered view of the nations. In addition to the self-awareness piece of the 30 hour famine, the youth have been raising money to send to buy food to send to those starving. Oh yes, these efforts can come with much criticism from those still sitting on the sidelines, but the fact remains that doing nothing can only be a profession for so long.
There are a bunch of ways to help provide aid to those who most need it, we must only see the world through Christ's eyes and obey what we have already been commanded to do. Why does it matter what others think or say? Why does it matter what we gain as a result of our works? The call is still the call. And one day, at judgement, we will all give a response for what we did and did not do with what we have been given.
What will you say?
I was surfing around this morning and reading about a small step that Matt and I have discussed. Tears came to my eyes as my heart broke for the little ones in need. It's sad how typical it is for our culture to arrogantly sweep people under the "third world" rug as if someone else out there will help pick them up. And if we are going to make a difference in their life, we would much rather arrogantly parade into their lives and show them how to use the Internet or how to be a business man as if they are so poor in their own cultures and therefore we should save them from themselves. Yes, the Christian church has made mistakes in the past of being the leading body of "we'll teach you how you should live" influences, but the Christian church has also been the largest and most consistent body of people who have come to successful aid of the poor. No other organization has provided disaster relief, aid to the poor, and sustaining of third world country's resources and lifestyles in the world. And many times the Christian church fully funds their own missions at literal cost to the workers volunteering to go provide aid.
The youth group will soon be embarking on a 30 hour famine. While 30 hours of fasting in acknowledgement of life outside of North America (and sadly even inside in some places) may sound useless to some, it is at least a start in having a more Christ-centered view of the nations. In addition to the self-awareness piece of the 30 hour famine, the youth have been raising money to send to buy food to send to those starving. Oh yes, these efforts can come with much criticism from those still sitting on the sidelines, but the fact remains that doing nothing can only be a profession for so long.
There are a bunch of ways to help provide aid to those who most need it, we must only see the world through Christ's eyes and obey what we have already been commanded to do. Why does it matter what others think or say? Why does it matter what we gain as a result of our works? The call is still the call. And one day, at judgement, we will all give a response for what we did and did not do with what we have been given.
What will you say?
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Back in the swing of things...
oh right, back in the swing of things plus a baby.
So these last "two" (one and a half) weeks before I return to work I am attempting to get back in the swing of things. I'm attempting to solidify Rachael's nap schedule and create a more structured nighttime routine to aid in Rachael's unwinding from the day. I've also taken the opportunity and doctor's clearance to jump back into the running game. I can't tell you how nice it is to feel that familiar burn of an hour well spent. I really love the time I get out there to just listen to spurring on songs and be with my Maker as I work at the goal of conquering the flesh. On the topic of flesh conquering, I'm also making so changes to the publicity of my quiet time lifestyle. I really have been slacking off and God deserves so much more than what I was giving. So I came up with a new idea of posting my quiet times so Matt can easily hold me accountable at random. Not only do I want to establish a greater pattern, but I also want to remember what I read. So I'm hoping these minimal efforts will kick myself into a place that I never should have left. I want to be a threat in this game called warfare. I've also put up a chart for Rachael because I want to be more intentional about making disciples... starting with the one we have been given. So we're replacing the nighttime story which help Rachael get comfortable to the sound of my voice to a Bible reading. Hopefully the repetition of my morning quiet time will also aid in sticking the text in my head more. We'll see what happens. What do you do to help keep your quiet times in routine? Who keeps you accountable and how?
Just trying to be more intentional about being where I want to be, when I want to be.
So these last "two" (one and a half) weeks before I return to work I am attempting to get back in the swing of things. I'm attempting to solidify Rachael's nap schedule and create a more structured nighttime routine to aid in Rachael's unwinding from the day. I've also taken the opportunity and doctor's clearance to jump back into the running game. I can't tell you how nice it is to feel that familiar burn of an hour well spent. I really love the time I get out there to just listen to spurring on songs and be with my Maker as I work at the goal of conquering the flesh. On the topic of flesh conquering, I'm also making so changes to the publicity of my quiet time lifestyle. I really have been slacking off and God deserves so much more than what I was giving. So I came up with a new idea of posting my quiet times so Matt can easily hold me accountable at random. Not only do I want to establish a greater pattern, but I also want to remember what I read. So I'm hoping these minimal efforts will kick myself into a place that I never should have left. I want to be a threat in this game called warfare. I've also put up a chart for Rachael because I want to be more intentional about making disciples... starting with the one we have been given. So we're replacing the nighttime story which help Rachael get comfortable to the sound of my voice to a Bible reading. Hopefully the repetition of my morning quiet time will also aid in sticking the text in my head more. We'll see what happens. What do you do to help keep your quiet times in routine? Who keeps you accountable and how?
Just trying to be more intentional about being where I want to be, when I want to be.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
From to From.
I was just thinking of a friend today that has stood the test of time and has been through a lot with me. From soundboard visits when we both didn't want to be there but felt obligated to "I can't stand living on campus" to "we'd rather be roommates than friends," From "you need to clean your room" to "what did the cats get into now" to sleepy days because of good midnight chats. From late night editing to jabber-jaw listening to ice cream awarded "you just barely got that paper in" celebrations. From overwhelmed bamboo gifts to digging out cars with a trashcan to hours of walked pavement. From enjoying us two to open invitation of my other to joking as us three. From packing my things to undercover wedding details to letting me in to get shoes as we were "departing" for our honeymoon. From Greene walks loaded with confessions amid passing strangers to no one else gets it jokes to carmel frapaccinos. From world-travel dreams to awaited passports to prolonged patience. From new job wantings to interviewing hopings to quited job celebrations. From overwhelmed tears to never let go hugs to follow-up calls. From old friends leaving confusions to new friends coming joys to constant friendship remainings. From ice cream run hopefuls to swollen calf complainings to labor day desires. From silked blanket encouraging to blue sleeper enforcing to pink blanket encompassed hugging. From forgetful forgivings to assurance of friendship givings to whatever may come bringings, I thank you.
We love you (Aunt) Robin.
All three of us.
But some of us more than others.
;-)
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Picture Perfect
We got our pictures done as a family and primarily to document Rachael at 1 month of life. You can check them out friends and family if you'd like to see our fun. Our friend, Susan, and new friend, Cher, did a fantastic job. We look forward to Rachael's 3, 6, 9 and 12 month pictures with an awesome full year documenting deal that the little photography studio does. If you'd like me to send you a link to the pictures then go ahead and email me and I'd be happy to send you the link. (Some of you already know where to go so you don' have to email me.) For the purpose of too much self-disclosure I chose not to post a link to the studio directly on this blog since the photography studio has it's location posted for business and I'd prefer not to be so easily narrowed in a search engine.
Hope all is going well with everyone.
Hope all is going well with everyone.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Fire Retardant
Will it stand the test of fire?
I sat down at the computer tonight to play what felt like a few hundred games of solitaire while Rachael ate her second dinner. Solitaire helps to pass the time as the little one savors each drip. I often find myself at 4 or 5 in the morning stacking clubs and hearts, etc for a half hour feed. But tonight the question popped into my mind, "Is what I'm doing going to stand the test of fire?" The ultimate answer resulted in a closed solitaire window and some more exalting prayer and study work.
Matt and I had a conversation on the car ride home. A few months ago Matt and I decided to become more intentional about investing in friends' lives through our church. And since then we rejoice in having a few closer friends. No, they are not our projects. We just wanted them to be more of a part of our "outside of the church building" lives. We greatly value our friends and enjoy the last minute plans and freedoms of neighborhood walks and game nights with their families.
But tonight's car conversation revolved around growing with our friends. Our church has this dilemma of not being a relationally connected church with the "young adult" population. It's funny but there really are a few couples in our church between Matt and my ages and 50. So we had an idea and I'm really quite excited about it. We're hoping to have a weekly get-together with a few dear friends in order to share life together. We'd like to do dinner together and share a time of short devotion or Christian comedians or whatever other creative way of exhorting each other and encouraging each other's growth. Nothing too high maintenance or requiring of childcare - just an opportunity to love on each other. We're not sure how receptive others will be to the proposition. But really when it all came down to it, we'd be more than blessed to step up to foster deeper, Christ-centered friendships amongst the "young adults" of the church. So what better way than to open our home and encourage our friends to open their homes for a nomadic group of life-sharing friends.
We'll see how this all goes. But we'll never know if deeper friendships can be accomplished unless we try. But the ultimate point is not to merely share in friendship, but to spur each other on toward Christ. I really hope this can be accomplished through a casual weekly gathering. We'll see.
- May God get all the glory. -
I sat down at the computer tonight to play what felt like a few hundred games of solitaire while Rachael ate her second dinner. Solitaire helps to pass the time as the little one savors each drip. I often find myself at 4 or 5 in the morning stacking clubs and hearts, etc for a half hour feed. But tonight the question popped into my mind, "Is what I'm doing going to stand the test of fire?" The ultimate answer resulted in a closed solitaire window and some more exalting prayer and study work.
Matt and I had a conversation on the car ride home. A few months ago Matt and I decided to become more intentional about investing in friends' lives through our church. And since then we rejoice in having a few closer friends. No, they are not our projects. We just wanted them to be more of a part of our "outside of the church building" lives. We greatly value our friends and enjoy the last minute plans and freedoms of neighborhood walks and game nights with their families.
But tonight's car conversation revolved around growing with our friends. Our church has this dilemma of not being a relationally connected church with the "young adult" population. It's funny but there really are a few couples in our church between Matt and my ages and 50. So we had an idea and I'm really quite excited about it. We're hoping to have a weekly get-together with a few dear friends in order to share life together. We'd like to do dinner together and share a time of short devotion or Christian comedians or whatever other creative way of exhorting each other and encouraging each other's growth. Nothing too high maintenance or requiring of childcare - just an opportunity to love on each other. We're not sure how receptive others will be to the proposition. But really when it all came down to it, we'd be more than blessed to step up to foster deeper, Christ-centered friendships amongst the "young adults" of the church. So what better way than to open our home and encourage our friends to open their homes for a nomadic group of life-sharing friends.
We'll see how this all goes. But we'll never know if deeper friendships can be accomplished unless we try. But the ultimate point is not to merely share in friendship, but to spur each other on toward Christ. I really hope this can be accomplished through a casual weekly gathering. We'll see.
- May God get all the glory. -
Much
Yesterday at ten til 7pm our heat was turned on. And there was MUCH rejoicing.
And I report to you cyberworld that this morning I am sitting in a tshirt in the office.
Oh the marvels of heat.
As for the lowest temp reached in the house during the waiting process: 51 degrees.
As for the highest temp reached in the the house during the waiting process: 76 degrees (yay for space heaters).
So for those of you who were praying and ever so helpful in offering showers and sleeping space, we thank you all greatly for your love and hospitality. And to celebrate the slow return to normal last night, there was the most relaxing warm bath I can ever remember taking followed by a good, warm sleep in our familiar bed.
And there was MUCH rejoicing!
And I report to you cyberworld that this morning I am sitting in a tshirt in the office.
Oh the marvels of heat.
As for the lowest temp reached in the house during the waiting process: 51 degrees.
As for the highest temp reached in the the house during the waiting process: 76 degrees (yay for space heaters).
So for those of you who were praying and ever so helpful in offering showers and sleeping space, we thank you all greatly for your love and hospitality. And to celebrate the slow return to normal last night, there was the most relaxing warm bath I can ever remember taking followed by a good, warm sleep in our familiar bed.
And there was MUCH rejoicing!
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Early
So one thing that I forgot to share in the small house fire incident is that after returning to the house around 8am, Rachael finally woke up - clueless of all that had happened. And she gave me the biggest, toothless smile I have ever seen. She's done some little smirks and half-smiles to other people and myself since then, but nothing yet as huge as her post-smoke smile.
As for the family, we have been staying at a church friend's house for the past three nights while our furnace flooring and all is fixed. Looks like we're going to be staying yet another night tonight but hopefully they'll be able to get the furnace back in tomorrow and we can get the heat back on. Due to God's grace, the weather this week hasn't been too bad which allows for Rachael and me to stay for a few hours each day with Dakota. So while Rachael is all bundled and napping in her carseat, I remain all layered and attempting to wash the smoke remnants out of our home. (Buy stocks in Febreeze, friends, before I return to the store.)
While life as a nomad leaves Matt and me a bit exhausted (no bed, no matter how nice, can ever compare to our routine mattress). Rachael, on the other hand, slept another 5 hour chunk last night - which she was due after having a few nights of 3-4 hour sleeps (a stuffy nose and new sleeping arrangements have affected her). Despite the continual mobility and packing of all our things each morning because we don't know if we'll return the next night, we are all working hard to remain in positive spirits and grateful.
By the way, when the furnace was removed, the workers and our church mechanical/janitorial guy (Mike) were both amazed. There lay a hole burnt straight through to the crawlspace about the size of a beach ball. Mike and the guys agreed that had the fire moved 4-5 more inches toward the carpet then "things would have gotten very bad... fast". Mike was also amazed to find God's grace in that what he thought to be the gas line pipe had some fire charring. I tell you all this not to create some drama, but to share with you the bold reminder that we were given: God was taking care of his kids on that Sunday morning. And we were surely blessed beyond measure and still remain so.
So from the polar winds of our hallway, I send you friends and family my love and wish you a good and blessed day serving our Lord. Let the exalting commence.
As for the family, we have been staying at a church friend's house for the past three nights while our furnace flooring and all is fixed. Looks like we're going to be staying yet another night tonight but hopefully they'll be able to get the furnace back in tomorrow and we can get the heat back on. Due to God's grace, the weather this week hasn't been too bad which allows for Rachael and me to stay for a few hours each day with Dakota. So while Rachael is all bundled and napping in her carseat, I remain all layered and attempting to wash the smoke remnants out of our home. (Buy stocks in Febreeze, friends, before I return to the store.)
While life as a nomad leaves Matt and me a bit exhausted (no bed, no matter how nice, can ever compare to our routine mattress). Rachael, on the other hand, slept another 5 hour chunk last night - which she was due after having a few nights of 3-4 hour sleeps (a stuffy nose and new sleeping arrangements have affected her). Despite the continual mobility and packing of all our things each morning because we don't know if we'll return the next night, we are all working hard to remain in positive spirits and grateful.
By the way, when the furnace was removed, the workers and our church mechanical/janitorial guy (Mike) were both amazed. There lay a hole burnt straight through to the crawlspace about the size of a beach ball. Mike and the guys agreed that had the fire moved 4-5 more inches toward the carpet then "things would have gotten very bad... fast". Mike was also amazed to find God's grace in that what he thought to be the gas line pipe had some fire charring. I tell you all this not to create some drama, but to share with you the bold reminder that we were given: God was taking care of his kids on that Sunday morning. And we were surely blessed beyond measure and still remain so.
So from the polar winds of our hallway, I send you friends and family my love and wish you a good and blessed day serving our Lord. Let the exalting commence.
Monday, February 09, 2009
'Now you have something to write about in your blog'
These words came from Matt's mouth yesterday morning after we were let back into our house around 8am. Let me take you back a few hours so you can understand why he said those words...
At 6:15am a strange alarm fuzzed it's way into Matt and my sleepiness. Matt got up to check it, I rolled over deciding that it was nothing. When Matt opened the door I changed my mind as I heard the fire alarm clearly for the first time. And then I heard Dakota's howling. Matt, being his brave self, went to investigate. I checked the baby.
Next thing I know Matt, being dragged by Dakota, announced as he came through some campfire-looking smoke, "Get up babe, we need to get out." I grabbed something I wasn't going to stand on the curb in the cold without(modesty runs deep friends), a sweatshirt, socks, boots, the baby and her hat. And I covered Rachael's head from the noise as I passed by the fire alarm and walked through the smoke that was beginning to "fill the house" from the furnace and water heater closet. Knowing the gas was still on as I walked by the smoke source was a bit nerve wracking, but my adrenalin was going.
After grabbing a coat, car keys (so baby could stay warm and we could have a getaway vehicle should we never return to the house), the car seat, and a few bottles on a flyby the kitchen table - we left via the garage. While I was bundling the baby for the cold, Matt was on the phone with the fire department. Four minutes after he hung up we were standing on the lawn outside of our house and the fire department arrived (talk about a quick response).
Turns out that after an hour or so later, a firefighter going into the crawlspace under our house, and a smoke sucking vacuum thing, we received the news. The source of the small, controlled fire in the back of our utilities closet was unknown. Apparently that little fire that originated behind the furnace had caught some of the sub flooring on fire for 5 feet under our house. The firefighter said we did a good job calling early and it was a good things because they were able to completely control the fire for the entire time and that the house was safe to return to. The gas, on the other hand, had been turned off to the house (a good thing so as not to produce an atomic bomb) and, therefore, we would have enough hot water for 2 quick showers and enough heat for potentially the afternoon. We suffered no real property damage (other than some charred floor boards) and the church has already arranged to have the guy who installed the furnace come inspect it. Sad thing? The furnace is only a 3 year old baby so we have no idea what could have gone wrong.
Sunday after church the heat had not survived long in our house - something about winter and leaving the windows open to ventilate smoke from the house at 6 in the morning led me to believe that the heat would not be staying long. Being as how we have a one month old baby, we sought warmth and fellowship at a nearby friend and church member's house after Matt was done preaching at the nursing home. Then last night we stayed at another friend's house - they were highly hospitable in clearing out their basement for the night so Rachael wouldn't bother anyone other than us with her morning/nighttime "feed me" announcements. I'm headed over to Ellen's for the day to keep warm and help out with a giant cooking day that Ellen has planned. And poor Dakota is spending the afternoon in her cage due to the circumstances. [That's why I'm here in the house petting and typing because I feel bad that she has had to be locked up so much. - and really I could tell that it means a lot to Matt.]
No smoke damage ensued despite the constant scent of campfire that lingers in our house and on our clothes. Matt joked yesterday morning as he sniffed his suit, "Smells like we picked up a bad habit." And once the heat is able to be turned back on, Matt and I will begin the laundering of all our clothes, febreezing of the furniture and vacuuming of the carpets in an attempt to return to normal.
Are we blessed? I cannot tell you how blessed we are. And even though this could be seen as an inconvenience to our regular schedule, seriously let's look at the big picture here with utter gratefulness and thanksgiving to God. That small fire could have become much worse and could have been much more devastating. Sweet Rachael slept through the whole affair - I don't even think she knows what happened. And we have wonderful friends and family who are helping us stay warm. And even thought Dakota has to stay in a cold house - she's a snow dog and is doing just fine.
So yes, Matt's wit is right...
At 6:15am a strange alarm fuzzed it's way into Matt and my sleepiness. Matt got up to check it, I rolled over deciding that it was nothing. When Matt opened the door I changed my mind as I heard the fire alarm clearly for the first time. And then I heard Dakota's howling. Matt, being his brave self, went to investigate. I checked the baby.
Next thing I know Matt, being dragged by Dakota, announced as he came through some campfire-looking smoke, "Get up babe, we need to get out." I grabbed something I wasn't going to stand on the curb in the cold without(modesty runs deep friends), a sweatshirt, socks, boots, the baby and her hat. And I covered Rachael's head from the noise as I passed by the fire alarm and walked through the smoke that was beginning to "fill the house" from the furnace and water heater closet. Knowing the gas was still on as I walked by the smoke source was a bit nerve wracking, but my adrenalin was going.
After grabbing a coat, car keys (so baby could stay warm and we could have a getaway vehicle should we never return to the house), the car seat, and a few bottles on a flyby the kitchen table - we left via the garage. While I was bundling the baby for the cold, Matt was on the phone with the fire department. Four minutes after he hung up we were standing on the lawn outside of our house and the fire department arrived (talk about a quick response).
Turns out that after an hour or so later, a firefighter going into the crawlspace under our house, and a smoke sucking vacuum thing, we received the news. The source of the small, controlled fire in the back of our utilities closet was unknown. Apparently that little fire that originated behind the furnace had caught some of the sub flooring on fire for 5 feet under our house. The firefighter said we did a good job calling early and it was a good things because they were able to completely control the fire for the entire time and that the house was safe to return to. The gas, on the other hand, had been turned off to the house (a good thing so as not to produce an atomic bomb) and, therefore, we would have enough hot water for 2 quick showers and enough heat for potentially the afternoon. We suffered no real property damage (other than some charred floor boards) and the church has already arranged to have the guy who installed the furnace come inspect it. Sad thing? The furnace is only a 3 year old baby so we have no idea what could have gone wrong.
Sunday after church the heat had not survived long in our house - something about winter and leaving the windows open to ventilate smoke from the house at 6 in the morning led me to believe that the heat would not be staying long. Being as how we have a one month old baby, we sought warmth and fellowship at a nearby friend and church member's house after Matt was done preaching at the nursing home. Then last night we stayed at another friend's house - they were highly hospitable in clearing out their basement for the night so Rachael wouldn't bother anyone other than us with her morning/nighttime "feed me" announcements. I'm headed over to Ellen's for the day to keep warm and help out with a giant cooking day that Ellen has planned. And poor Dakota is spending the afternoon in her cage due to the circumstances. [That's why I'm here in the house petting and typing because I feel bad that she has had to be locked up so much. - and really I could tell that it means a lot to Matt.]
No smoke damage ensued despite the constant scent of campfire that lingers in our house and on our clothes. Matt joked yesterday morning as he sniffed his suit, "Smells like we picked up a bad habit." And once the heat is able to be turned back on, Matt and I will begin the laundering of all our clothes, febreezing of the furniture and vacuuming of the carpets in an attempt to return to normal.
Are we blessed? I cannot tell you how blessed we are. And even though this could be seen as an inconvenience to our regular schedule, seriously let's look at the big picture here with utter gratefulness and thanksgiving to God. That small fire could have become much worse and could have been much more devastating. Sweet Rachael slept through the whole affair - I don't even think she knows what happened. And we have wonderful friends and family who are helping us stay warm. And even thought Dakota has to stay in a cold house - she's a snow dog and is doing just fine.
So yes, Matt's wit is right...
Now I have something to write about in my blog.
Okay, time for Rachael and I to load up and defrost our noses at Ellen's home.
Monday, February 02, 2009
Friendly CD
On the sidebar there's a few musical selections from an old friend, Phil Wing's newly released CD in an effort to raise funds for the Wing family's adoption of an Ethiopian child. I've posted this for two reasons: I am thrilled at the family's obedicence to Jesus in the adoption and my all-time favorite Phil Wing song "You Do Great Things" is on the CD. Listen if you'd like and you will hear what I remember to be the sound of Apex Community Church (which is now Apex - "a Network of House Churches"-). It's funny how a few songs bring back a flood of memories. Also, should you want more information on the adoption and the family you can go to http://wingadoption.blogspot.com/ and the CD can be bought at http://philwing.com/ - should you be more curious. Anyway... hope you enjoy the music.
A Month
It's hard to believe that she's a month old. First off, it's really hard to remember a time without her - she's become such a huge part of Matt and my life. But then there's also the feeling that a month old sounds so big - especally for our tiny little daughter. And it has been an absolute blessing watching her grow and change over the past month. So while the baby ticker may say Rachael's a month old, she's technically not a month old until February5. Despite it all, I wanted to share a few more pictures, escpecially with those who are too far away to get the live showing. And for those of you who are curious, yes it is still an adjustment to life having a baby (I think it will always be). And while we may be late almost all the time to everything EVER, things are beginning to get more predictable when it comes to Rachael's schedule and, therefre, normalcy has made its entrance.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
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