There is nothing like waking up at 6am (begrudgingly at first. - I'm not going to lie-), reading the Word, running for three miles and then taking a nice cool shower.Ahhhhhh... yes.
This is my cup of Java.
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Cup of Java
There is nothing like waking up at 6am (begrudgingly at first. - I'm not going to lie-), reading the Word, running for three miles and then taking a nice cool shower.Ahhhhhh... yes.
This is my cup of Java.
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Lasts
You know, there are some bitter sweet moments in life that take your breath away. And then there's some hard moments in life that cause you to take coping deep breaths.
It's the end of the quarter and the lasts are creaping in. I am taking my last exam on Thursday, I have attended my last Crosswalk, I just attended my last "class", and my last is all I can give. I can't give anymore to this quarter. And you know what? I'm really okay with that. In fact, it brings much relief. Much relief.
This summer will be hard; one class, practicum and work back to back (and even overlapping at times), and then life. It will be a challenge. Truly a challenge. It's the last sprint for my degree. And while it may feel like it is dangling over my head, attached to a wire on my back, eventually I'll reach it. And another checkmark will be placed on the list of life.
My Refuge has brought rest. Much needed and much appreciated.
I came home to a bouquett of roses and a "just because" letter. How he blesses me. And I agree, taking time for the simple is a must... and it's so needed. Thank you, Matt.
More thoughts that crossed my mind today revolved around a little girl. A classmate brought her daughter into class. Her daughter, Rose, must have been a good 2 years old. Rose was a healthy two, laughing, interrupting class, rolling on the floor, and talking to another five year old child drag-along for the day. My classmate shared with me and another aquaintance, "I wanted two and I knew it was now or never." She also expanded upon her teenager that's back at home. This woman, now in her mid thirties/early forties had this little one. And the smile on this woman's face? Her little one was her world. And it was so cute.
Kinda made me want to be a mom. Later... but I looked forward to if God would ever grace me with the oppotunity to love Matt and my little one to pieces. We'll see in time. I'm in no rush.
I thought of Ellen and wondered how she was doing. I miss seeing her regularly. We're going to meet up and hang out sometime later this week so we can pack her up for her move on June 16th. And maybe I'll even get to hold my neice a little. But, I'm not going to lie, as much as I love my neice to pieces, I really do love her mom and I care more about how her mom was doing than my neice. As cold as that sounds, Ellen's a friend and i really care about her.
I also got an email for Andi a few days ago. She can't come to Matt and my wedding. That was really disappointing because she was one of the few people that I really wanted to be there. Oh but I completely understand that she can't come. I COMPLETELY understand. My, my how God has grown her and Ben. It's amazing to watch. Praise God for His grace and His love. But in and amongst the wonderful things God is doing, there are little hurts that happen too. And Andi not being able to come to my wedding. That's just one of them.
Well, the cats are all sprawled out, napping on Robin's bed. And as tempting as that looks, I think I'm going to go for a run. It's been a long time since I've gotten to just run. And I look forward to it.
Hope you are seeing the Lord's blessings in your life today.
To God be all the glory and honor and praise forever and ever.
Amen.
It's the end of the quarter and the lasts are creaping in. I am taking my last exam on Thursday, I have attended my last Crosswalk, I just attended my last "class", and my last is all I can give. I can't give anymore to this quarter. And you know what? I'm really okay with that. In fact, it brings much relief. Much relief.
This summer will be hard; one class, practicum and work back to back (and even overlapping at times), and then life. It will be a challenge. Truly a challenge. It's the last sprint for my degree. And while it may feel like it is dangling over my head, attached to a wire on my back, eventually I'll reach it. And another checkmark will be placed on the list of life.
My Refuge has brought rest. Much needed and much appreciated.
I came home to a bouquett of roses and a "just because" letter. How he blesses me. And I agree, taking time for the simple is a must... and it's so needed. Thank you, Matt.
More thoughts that crossed my mind today revolved around a little girl. A classmate brought her daughter into class. Her daughter, Rose, must have been a good 2 years old. Rose was a healthy two, laughing, interrupting class, rolling on the floor, and talking to another five year old child drag-along for the day. My classmate shared with me and another aquaintance, "I wanted two and I knew it was now or never." She also expanded upon her teenager that's back at home. This woman, now in her mid thirties/early forties had this little one. And the smile on this woman's face? Her little one was her world. And it was so cute.
Kinda made me want to be a mom. Later... but I looked forward to if God would ever grace me with the oppotunity to love Matt and my little one to pieces. We'll see in time. I'm in no rush.
I thought of Ellen and wondered how she was doing. I miss seeing her regularly. We're going to meet up and hang out sometime later this week so we can pack her up for her move on June 16th. And maybe I'll even get to hold my neice a little. But, I'm not going to lie, as much as I love my neice to pieces, I really do love her mom and I care more about how her mom was doing than my neice. As cold as that sounds, Ellen's a friend and i really care about her.
I also got an email for Andi a few days ago. She can't come to Matt and my wedding. That was really disappointing because she was one of the few people that I really wanted to be there. Oh but I completely understand that she can't come. I COMPLETELY understand. My, my how God has grown her and Ben. It's amazing to watch. Praise God for His grace and His love. But in and amongst the wonderful things God is doing, there are little hurts that happen too. And Andi not being able to come to my wedding. That's just one of them.
Well, the cats are all sprawled out, napping on Robin's bed. And as tempting as that looks, I think I'm going to go for a run. It's been a long time since I've gotten to just run. And I look forward to it.
Hope you are seeing the Lord's blessings in your life today.
To God be all the glory and honor and praise forever and ever.
Amen.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Zits and Life
So sometimes when you get bad news you just have to cry.
It's funny how finances never seemed to bring good news for me.
But bad financial news is never easy to carry.
See, finances are tied to nearly every struggle Matt and I will face in the next upcoming year. And, as Matt mentioned, finances are the number one cause of divorce.
Before you think Matt is a jerk, I am overwhelmingly confident that Matt will never divorce me, so this matter-of-a-fact statement does not scare me.
...
Today has been a hard day. Cheddar kept me up last night and between him and my allergies, I'm just plain exhausted. I began the day thirty minutes behind and got to church 15 minutes late. So, in an optimists world, I shaved 15 minutes off somewhere. Some days you're just late. And that's life.
Once I shook off my grumpy streak and found myself back at home in comfy clothes, I gave Matt a call. That's when I learned about the path God is providing for us. I am not going to lie, the news of not being able to afford an apartment and needing to live in Matt's parent's house for at least the first year of our marriage was quite hard to hear. At first I took it well, kicking into survival mode. "We can make it." My thoughts denied my emotions. But some things you just have to work through. It's like the idea of leaving Apex, it just must sit with you a while so you can grieve it and move on.
But I can be honest, the news of our financial stability did not stop there. Next year is going to be so much more challenging than this past one. All the people at Matt's house, the thought of not being able to keep Cheddar (my coping strategy), the thought of Matt being busy a lot, and a new job, and even if the Stauffers do let me keep Cheddar, the thought of not being able to find him in a huge house when I need him the most brought tears to my eyes. How can my world fall apart like this? Suddenly the thought of all the furniture God has provided didn't matter anymore. Where will we put it? I just sat in my room holding Cheddar (despite him not wanting to be there) and let it all out. Poor Cheddar got a shower. I got covered in cat hair. And my nose ran uncontrollably. - I just had to get it out.- I haven't cried that hard in a very long time. I don't think I ever grieved Apex that hard before.
Dear friends, it doesn't mean God is any less of a providing God. It doesn't mean God's provision of furniture isn't a promise of what's to come. It doesn't mean that He doesn't want us to be together. It just means that it's going to be a challenge and some days I'll do well with it, and other days I will drench my cat in tears.
...
I have never been spoiled by glamorous photos. I've never taken Senior pictures because they were far too expensive. I don't have a senior class ring and I can't even find my high school diploma anymore. I won't be walking at my college graduation and I haven't done any other monumental thing. But one thing I will be blessed with and that's getting engagement pictures taken with Matt tomorrow. No, we can't afford ridiculously expensive photography-quality pictures. (We won't even have them at our wedding). But a dear friend of mine, Chris, has happily volunteered to take his best photos for the price of the film. So, in light of my past, this means a lot to me. So much that I got a bit vein about my two zits. Oh well, that's life for ya. You don't have super huge zits until you're doing a "once in a lifetime" thing. [I expect to have zits in my wedding pictures too. ] I wanted to get my hair trimmed, but I can't afford it, so I think I'll cut off some split ends on my own. Maybe Robin can help. Matt didn't have time for a haircut, but knowing how much it meant to me, he called to tell me that he'd made a trip to the mall and would even be shaving tomorrow since it looked like a porcupine hit him in the face.
I am so in love with Matt and so blessed that he cares so deeply about me that he'd struggle to find extra time to get "cleaned up" and "nicely dressed" because it means something to me.
...
So today's had it's ups and downs. This basket-case is continually on the verge of tears and completely overwhelmed by the joy of loving Matt at the same time.
"We'll do just fine." He said today. "It's just going to be a big challenge this next year. But if you can't find a job, I'll quit school and get another one. We'll survive. And then the next year, after I'm done with school, it won't be drastically different, but it'll be a little better than the year before. ... It'll be okay. I love you."
- I love you too, Matt.
I know God will pull us through.
It's funny how finances never seemed to bring good news for me.
But bad financial news is never easy to carry.
See, finances are tied to nearly every struggle Matt and I will face in the next upcoming year. And, as Matt mentioned, finances are the number one cause of divorce.
Before you think Matt is a jerk, I am overwhelmingly confident that Matt will never divorce me, so this matter-of-a-fact statement does not scare me.
...
Today has been a hard day. Cheddar kept me up last night and between him and my allergies, I'm just plain exhausted. I began the day thirty minutes behind and got to church 15 minutes late. So, in an optimists world, I shaved 15 minutes off somewhere. Some days you're just late. And that's life.
Once I shook off my grumpy streak and found myself back at home in comfy clothes, I gave Matt a call. That's when I learned about the path God is providing for us. I am not going to lie, the news of not being able to afford an apartment and needing to live in Matt's parent's house for at least the first year of our marriage was quite hard to hear. At first I took it well, kicking into survival mode. "We can make it." My thoughts denied my emotions. But some things you just have to work through. It's like the idea of leaving Apex, it just must sit with you a while so you can grieve it and move on.
But I can be honest, the news of our financial stability did not stop there. Next year is going to be so much more challenging than this past one. All the people at Matt's house, the thought of not being able to keep Cheddar (my coping strategy), the thought of Matt being busy a lot, and a new job, and even if the Stauffers do let me keep Cheddar, the thought of not being able to find him in a huge house when I need him the most brought tears to my eyes. How can my world fall apart like this? Suddenly the thought of all the furniture God has provided didn't matter anymore. Where will we put it? I just sat in my room holding Cheddar (despite him not wanting to be there) and let it all out. Poor Cheddar got a shower. I got covered in cat hair. And my nose ran uncontrollably. - I just had to get it out.- I haven't cried that hard in a very long time. I don't think I ever grieved Apex that hard before.
Dear friends, it doesn't mean God is any less of a providing God. It doesn't mean God's provision of furniture isn't a promise of what's to come. It doesn't mean that He doesn't want us to be together. It just means that it's going to be a challenge and some days I'll do well with it, and other days I will drench my cat in tears.
...
I have never been spoiled by glamorous photos. I've never taken Senior pictures because they were far too expensive. I don't have a senior class ring and I can't even find my high school diploma anymore. I won't be walking at my college graduation and I haven't done any other monumental thing. But one thing I will be blessed with and that's getting engagement pictures taken with Matt tomorrow. No, we can't afford ridiculously expensive photography-quality pictures. (We won't even have them at our wedding). But a dear friend of mine, Chris, has happily volunteered to take his best photos for the price of the film. So, in light of my past, this means a lot to me. So much that I got a bit vein about my two zits. Oh well, that's life for ya. You don't have super huge zits until you're doing a "once in a lifetime" thing. [I expect to have zits in my wedding pictures too. ] I wanted to get my hair trimmed, but I can't afford it, so I think I'll cut off some split ends on my own. Maybe Robin can help. Matt didn't have time for a haircut, but knowing how much it meant to me, he called to tell me that he'd made a trip to the mall and would even be shaving tomorrow since it looked like a porcupine hit him in the face.
I am so in love with Matt and so blessed that he cares so deeply about me that he'd struggle to find extra time to get "cleaned up" and "nicely dressed" because it means something to me.
...
So today's had it's ups and downs. This basket-case is continually on the verge of tears and completely overwhelmed by the joy of loving Matt at the same time.
"We'll do just fine." He said today. "It's just going to be a big challenge this next year. But if you can't find a job, I'll quit school and get another one. We'll survive. And then the next year, after I'm done with school, it won't be drastically different, but it'll be a little better than the year before. ... It'll be okay. I love you."
- I love you too, Matt.
I know God will pull us through.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Just Some Math
Yesterday = 17 months and 94 days.
Today = 93 and 17 months + one day.
If 93 days, then it will be 20 months.
3 to go.
93 to go.
And to think what it used to be...
Thanks be to God!
Today = 93 and 17 months + one day.
If 93 days, then it will be 20 months.
3 to go.
93 to go.
And to think what it used to be...
Thanks be to God!
Friday, May 11, 2007
Praise Be
Praise be to the Lord, our God, King of all creation... whose words can melt a heart and split the strongest nation...
Here I sit bee-boppin (a technical term) in my head to a rockin' praise song as externally the AC consumes the quiet of a friday at practicum. Whomever said fridays are chaos in a social work agency has never been to CHOICES, Inc. I have a half hour to kill and nothing creatively fun is entertaining my mind here at CHOICES. I wonder if I'm really cut out for a nine to five job. My bills seem to think so. But my creativity rebels.
Yesterday was Matt's 21st birthday. 9Happy Birthday again, Matt). We both were surprised when "sixteen people" showed up at the Stauffer's for a "small" family birthday party. Matt and his old sister, Ellen, have back-to-back birthdays, so a family birthday party was definitely in order.
In other news, today marks 106 days until I marry Matt and the word "engagement" has popped up in the vocabulary of one who is very close to me (but I'm not sure if they want the world knowing about their thought yet so they will remain nameless).
I also got to hold my niece last night. She's a whoppin' one week old and so freakin' cute. I love that baby to pieces (only I hope that'd never be a condition she'd face).
"How are wedding plans?" Everyone always asks. "They're going well" I leave a vaguely open statement hanging in the air. To bring more detail I could say that they are going quite well. As Matt told a friend last night "they're 97.43% done. There's just little details and last minutes to do." You know, like invitations. ;) But my mom's so graciously taken all the invitations (I'm transporting them down there tonight) and has come up with a standard format and wording for them. Sometimes soon we will start the printing part and on Memorial day Matt, Mom, Robin (?), Kelly (?), Jes (?), and anyone else who wants to help will meet up at my apartment and assemble them all. Guestimation of how many we'll be sending out? 150 or so. And a guesstimation of how many people will show up at the wedding ceremony? maybe some 250 or so. Afterall, Matt's inviting his whole church and Apex can handle it.
Every day it's becoming more and more real that this whole wedding thing is coming quite quickly. And while the thought of standing before 250+ times 2 eyes gives me the heebie-geebies (again, a technical term), the idea of marrying my dearest friend is overwhelmingly joyful. "Are you getting excited?" a friend asked me. I think she could see it in my face. The word "excited" can barely contain the joy I am holding. I'm just trying not to be overly excited, and therefore, get hiccups for the next 3 and a half months. I'll wait until the 30 day countdown for hiccups to become a normalcy in my life.
With each passing day the thought of leaving Apex becomes more normal in my life. The thought of moving on the Miamisburg First Baptist becomes more of a normal transition and less of a stressor. God has built up my faith at Apex that I may be able to serve Him to the ends of the earth and the entrance door to the ends of the earth is entitles "Miamisburg First Baptist Church". It's absolutely awe-striking to imagine where God could take us. It is amazing to think of how God could use two people that say "where ever You want us, we'll be". Ohio, Wisconsin, Nevada, Maine, Africa... wherever... we're following the One worthy of all praise.
Indeed, Praise be to the Lord, our God, King of all creation... whose words can melt a heart and split the strongest nation...I will ever put my trust in Him, though the world be shaken... I will not be moved.
Sunday, May 06, 2007
The Cost
I don't understand Your ways
Oh but I will give You my soul
Give You all of my praise
You hold on to all my pain
With it You are pulling me closer and
Pulling me into Your ways
Now around every corner
And up every mountain
I'm not looking for crowns
Or the water from fountains
I'm desperate in seeking, frantic believing
That the sight of Your face
Is all that I'm needing
I will say to You...
It's gonna be worth it
Gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
I believe this
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
I don't understand Your ways
Oh but I will give You my soul
Give You all of my praise
You hold on to all my pain
With it You are pulling me closer and
Pulling me into Your ways
Now around every corner
And up every mountain
I'm not looking for crowns
Or the water from fountains
I'm desperate in seeking, frantic believing
That the sight of Your face
Is all that I'm needing
I will say to You...
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
I believe this
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
I believe all my pain (It's gonna be worth it)
All my joy (It's gonna be worth it)
It's gonna be worth it all
And around every corner
And up every mountain
I'm not looking for crowns
Or the water from fountains
I'm desperate in seeking, Lord, frantic believing
That the sight of Your face
Is all that I'm needing
I will say to You...
You're all I'm needing Lord, You're all I'm needing
I will lift my voice to You and say...
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it all
I believe this
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it all
I believe know.
- "Worth It All"
song by: Rita Springer
Oh but I will give You my soul
Give You all of my praise
You hold on to all my pain
With it You are pulling me closer and
Pulling me into Your ways
Now around every corner
And up every mountain
I'm not looking for crowns
Or the water from fountains
I'm desperate in seeking, frantic believing
That the sight of Your face
Is all that I'm needing
I will say to You...
It's gonna be worth it
Gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
I believe this
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
I don't understand Your ways
Oh but I will give You my soul
Give You all of my praise
You hold on to all my pain
With it You are pulling me closer and
Pulling me into Your ways
Now around every corner
And up every mountain
I'm not looking for crowns
Or the water from fountains
I'm desperate in seeking, frantic believing
That the sight of Your face
Is all that I'm needing
I will say to You...
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
I believe this
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
I believe all my pain (It's gonna be worth it)
All my joy (It's gonna be worth it)
It's gonna be worth it all
And around every corner
And up every mountain
I'm not looking for crowns
Or the water from fountains
I'm desperate in seeking, Lord, frantic believing
That the sight of Your face
Is all that I'm needing
I will say to You...
You're all I'm needing Lord, You're all I'm needing
I will lift my voice to You and say...
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it all
I believe this
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it all
I believe know.
- "Worth It All"
song by: Rita Springer
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Away
You know? These past few weeks have been hard. This quarter has been so overwhelming and I came to the realization about a week ago that I have lost my character in the shuffle of this year's requirements. Long days, short nights and stress after stress has finally found victim in my personality. But in all the time that I have been kicking and complaining this quarter about my lack of rest, I have found failure after failure.
I opened my eyes tonight to see this...
an open hand...
" Come with me my love
step out on the wave
step out into faith
Fix your eyes on me
look past the stormy sea
look past your stumbling feet
and i know you’re afraid
but i’ll take your hand
hold you close
pull you in
and though you can’t stand
I still can
I still Am"
And as easily as this song creates flight in lyrical form within my head (even without ever hearing the song), I come to the realization that maybe, just maybe away...
is so much closer than I thought...
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Monday, April 30, 2007
Broken Sick
Boots broke his tail last night (the one on the left). Robin and I are still confused about how exactly it all happened, but I have this guilt-complex that I was somehow involved in it. This morning he was super lovey-dovey to me. This both made me feel bad for him and made me feel like a low-life to have potentially hurt him. I'm sick today. I think I'm coming down with what Robin had... has. She went to the doctor last Friday after I threatened to take her to the ER if she didn't stop choking to breathe. She has a sinus infection that, if left to progress a few more days, would have turned into bronchitis. She's now on antibiotics.
I'm not absolutely convinced that I have caught her sinus infection. And I'm not missing school, work or internship any time soon to go to the Doctor's unless I absolutely have to.
In calling a lady from my house church to warn her about my sickness since I was holding her baby last night, she said "well, that's good. Now you can get a break from all that's going on." To which I quickly responded, knowing well of my demands of my schedule, "No. Anything that I cancel I'll just have to make back up on another day."
I had a hard night last night. Between the mucus build-up, nausea, scratchy throat and heavy conscience, three and a half hours of sleep is all I could come by. Part of me doesn't care if I get sick. Bring it on! Says my cockiness. But another part of me wonders if this will be the final straw to break this camel's back.
I have been so overwhelmed lately.
So overwhelmed...
I miss Matt.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Announcing Congratulations
Getting past the fact that this ring looks very Lord of the Rings-ish, I have an announcement for all my blogging friends.Yesterday was Mom and Dad's 25th Anniversary.
Congratulations!!!
They are such an example of faithfulness and dedication in their love for each other.
By the grace of God.
Thanks be to God.
I am so blessed to soon follow in the same unwavering footsteps.
By the grace of God.
Thanks be to God.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Broken Glass
I'm on page 155 out of 288 of the above book by the above author (that I met in person) and I must finish before my head can hit the pillow tonight. And then tomorrow I need to type my 5 page paper about this book to turn in tomorrow night.
Procrastinator. You may think. But the reality is that I am so overwhelmed with school, work, internship, Crosswalk, social life and attempting to meet basic needs that I have begun to shut myself off from the realm of caring. It's the fight or flight method that is truly overcoming me. When this monster is too much to bear, flight is inevitable.
I find myself thinking things like "Why even try anymore? I won't win."
And "I don't think I can last these next six weeks of the quarter."
Uplifting post?
Absolutely not.
But true to me currently?
Sadly, yes.
I know I have to make it, I have made it thus far. But I am so burned out.
so burned out...
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Coming Soon!!!
Exciting News...
Today I went over to the Stauffers to visit Ellen and Sarah. I wanted to visit Ellen in particular because it's probably the last time I will get to see her while she still has Bekah inside of her. That's right... Ellen's getting incuded on Friday, April 27th and I'm going to be an (unofficial) aunt!
At the Stauffers, Ellen and I cut out directions for Matt and my wedding invitations on the living room floor as Sarah scrapbooked beside us. Then we decided to grab some lunch. We headed out to Subway where Bekah decided to kick me for the second time. Only this time I watched with my own two eyes as Ellen's belly had this huge heal of a foot kick from the inside. I was amazed and overjoyed. Ellen explained to me that when she pokes at Bekah, she will often kick really hard for a few good kicks. Ellen thinks she's annoyed. =)
Bekah's revenge? She sat on Ellen's ribs.
Hehe.
I love that little baby already and I can't wait to meet her this week.
I've called off my practicum on Friday so I can go to the hospital at 4am when Ellen will be induced and wait it out.
I just can't wait!
I'm so excited!!!!!!
Also, 126 days until Matt and I get married.
WOOT!!!
Today I went over to the Stauffers to visit Ellen and Sarah. I wanted to visit Ellen in particular because it's probably the last time I will get to see her while she still has Bekah inside of her. That's right... Ellen's getting incuded on Friday, April 27th and I'm going to be an (unofficial) aunt!
At the Stauffers, Ellen and I cut out directions for Matt and my wedding invitations on the living room floor as Sarah scrapbooked beside us. Then we decided to grab some lunch. We headed out to Subway where Bekah decided to kick me for the second time. Only this time I watched with my own two eyes as Ellen's belly had this huge heal of a foot kick from the inside. I was amazed and overjoyed. Ellen explained to me that when she pokes at Bekah, she will often kick really hard for a few good kicks. Ellen thinks she's annoyed. =)
Bekah's revenge? She sat on Ellen's ribs.
Hehe.
I love that little baby already and I can't wait to meet her this week.
I've called off my practicum on Friday so I can go to the hospital at 4am when Ellen will be induced and wait it out.
I just can't wait!
I'm so excited!!!!!!
Also, 126 days until Matt and I get married.
WOOT!!!
Friday, April 20, 2007
Nothing More
There's nothing more pathetic than snuggling in on the couch on a Friday night to watch a movie all by yourself with a roll of toilet paper and a plate-full of cauliflower.
I miss Robin.
She needs to come home now.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Blogged Decapitations
I was reading a blog's comments (yep, I had a bunch of extra time this morning since I bathed last night) and I found this comment. Let me give you some context. The blog consisted of documenting struggles in bedtime routines with children. After reading of how a mother tried to please her daughter in cycling through bedtime routines until the best bedtime routine was formed, this comment busted out of the crowd.
I can just picture a mother's mentality (having experienced similar bedtime annoyances of children escaping the dreadful un-railed bed) of doing a bedtime routine for the sole purpose of getting a child to go to sleep. And then I read this post:
I can just picture a mother's mentality (having experienced similar bedtime annoyances of children escaping the dreadful un-railed bed) of doing a bedtime routine for the sole purpose of getting a child to go to sleep. And then I read this post:
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
When California Runs Dry
This morning I was sitting at my computer when I realised the cats had knocked my books over.Bummer, I thought, casually passing along the annoyance of our cats.
And then my brain connected that my jar of sandy California beach water and shells was used as a bookend for that shelf.
And it was gone.
My eyes traced it's path to the floor where I first spotted the rectangular jar on it's side.
And sure enough, California had run dry.
Low tide.
Monica's ocean was gone.
Now what do you do when California runs dry?
Find pleasure in the dry sand.
As Promised, Six
As promised to Robin this morning, I am posting here from my internship. (Yes, I really have that much to do here.) I am pleased, on the other hand, that it is almost 1pm and I have yet to think about poking out my eyes from boredom. This is huge improvement over other internship days.
So something sort of unexpected happened today. I attended the Foster Care Staff Meeting (oh how I hate those, but it was better than sitting at my desk and staring at the cubicle wall) and discovered that a social worker from my internship was laid off. She was at the meeting (apparently her last day wasn't today). This got me thinking about the world of the social work profession in child welfare-type agencies. And it also made me question where I wanted to work when I graduated. For the first time ever, I thought about not working in the social work field.
Let me explain. In the child welfare field you can either work as a county worker (booo, hisss) and be a number or be a social worker for a nonprofit agency. Due to a serious foster care violation case (a young boy was left in a closet for all wrapped up for a weekend and died) there have been new laws passed. With these new laws, all the non-profit, small agencies are seriously hit with new requirements and new expenses. Due to this, a lot of them are hurting. Therefore, job availablility? um... not so great. Furthermore, ability to hold your job if you're working at a non-profit? Well, using my internship as an example, one lady quit and another was laid off. That makes 2 gone out of 5. Not so hot!
I also thought about the five year idea. The five year idea states that Monica would like to be a housewife and raise 6 children [HECK YES!]. Therefore, in raising six children, Monica would not be working. Furthermore, Monica needs to work until Matt and Monica are on their feet enough for Monica to stop working. That will be accomplished once Matt gets a full-time ministry job. In turn, that will happen after Matt is finished with his seminary degree. [FYI, this isn't just Monica's idea, it's Matt's too.] Will it work? By God's grace it will work. And the idea is that I won't be working much longer than five years max.
With this new piece of information, I wonder if it'd be better for me to get an office job somewhere or some job outside of the social work profession that pays a bit better than a risky non-profit job. This is only a thought... not a conclusion.
Just a thought.
Not a conclusion.
So something sort of unexpected happened today. I attended the Foster Care Staff Meeting (oh how I hate those, but it was better than sitting at my desk and staring at the cubicle wall) and discovered that a social worker from my internship was laid off. She was at the meeting (apparently her last day wasn't today). This got me thinking about the world of the social work profession in child welfare-type agencies. And it also made me question where I wanted to work when I graduated. For the first time ever, I thought about not working in the social work field.
Let me explain. In the child welfare field you can either work as a county worker (booo, hisss) and be a number or be a social worker for a nonprofit agency. Due to a serious foster care violation case (a young boy was left in a closet for all wrapped up for a weekend and died) there have been new laws passed. With these new laws, all the non-profit, small agencies are seriously hit with new requirements and new expenses. Due to this, a lot of them are hurting. Therefore, job availablility? um... not so great. Furthermore, ability to hold your job if you're working at a non-profit? Well, using my internship as an example, one lady quit and another was laid off. That makes 2 gone out of 5. Not so hot!
I also thought about the five year idea. The five year idea states that Monica would like to be a housewife and raise 6 children [HECK YES!]. Therefore, in raising six children, Monica would not be working. Furthermore, Monica needs to work until Matt and Monica are on their feet enough for Monica to stop working. That will be accomplished once Matt gets a full-time ministry job. In turn, that will happen after Matt is finished with his seminary degree. [FYI, this isn't just Monica's idea, it's Matt's too.] Will it work? By God's grace it will work. And the idea is that I won't be working much longer than five years max.
With this new piece of information, I wonder if it'd be better for me to get an office job somewhere or some job outside of the social work profession that pays a bit better than a risky non-profit job. This is only a thought... not a conclusion.
Just a thought.
Not a conclusion.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Low-Income Windows, Friends, and 135
So, my friends and fellow readers... today is the third day at my internship that my supervisor has not been here for some reason. AKA... I'm lost... hence the blogging.I am supposed to be working on a low-income housing project in which I research low income housing and then visit to determine the quality of living by window coverings.
For example, in the picture above... there are various window coverings. Obviously curtains cannot be afforded so various colored sheets and boards are put up in the windows to keep out prying eyes. Now before anyone becomes too high and mighty, please understand that I am in no way insulting anyone's style of life. I too slept with a blanket over my campus window for nearly two years in order to block out the light. But those "better" low-income apartments out there require that a resident place at least a white sheet over the windows if curtains cannot be afforded. Hence the reasoning behind looking at people's windows.Beyond low-income housing shopping and internship dullness, things have been going well. I got the opportunity to talk to a good friend, Chris, for awhile this morning which was great. It's really quite wonderful to find out how good friends who you don't get to see often are doing. For the world to know... he and Miranda are doing well.
It's funny how the thought of visiting "old friends" brings such joy to my day. No plans have been set in stone, but the thought of a time coming soon, quite soon, when I will get to visit Chris and Miranda for more than 15 minutes is quite exciting.
I also got to talk to my mom this morning which was good. I really have enjoyed hanging out with my mom and getting to talk to my mom lately. It's funny how we have gone through her parenting me, me rebelling (in various ways), me going off to college, her learning to befriend me, and now it seems like we are moving further and further into her and I being friends. Oh, she will always hold the parenting card over me... I mean seriously, she's my mom. But I am really appreciative for those moments in which we get to just laugh, talk about challenges, and do random chores around the house. I love you, mom.
As for my Matt, I've gotten the chance to see him more these past few weeks than I have gotten to see him in a long time. I attended Miamisburg First Baptist these past two Sundays. In such a visitation I am learning more of what it means to support Matt in his ministry. Oh yes, eventually it will be come our ministry at Miamisburg, but as for now it's Matt's ministry. I really am enjoying being Matt's sidekick in ministry, though it does require me to sit alone during some church services. But I really do enjoy watching him serve and doing random things here and there to aid him. But I'll be honest, there really is nothing in comparison to just being with Matt, outside of the context of Miamisburg. Just me and Matt... oh that's a blast.
This just in [Matt's dad just walked by my cubicle]... Ellen (Matt's sister) has been put on bed rest so please keep her in your prayers as she nears Becca's arrival. Becca is due May 4th and I couldn't be more excited. Ellen and Ron are also putting a bid on a house today that they could potentially move into soon. And... (drum roll please) Becca's head is down and Ellen's beginning to dialate. SOOOOOOOOOO EXCITING!!!!!!!! I'm going to be an Aunt soon! It's been really fun and exciting to watch Ellen go through her pregnancy and I can't wait to meet my new niece whom has kicked me once already. SOOOOOOOOOOO EXCITING!!!!!!!!!!
Beyond all that joy, school has been school, I am learning more of what it means to have fun at work despite the challenges of my Kindergartners, and, lest you all forget, 135 days until Matt and I get married. Also, a new countdown... 99 days until I complete my requirements for graduation.
Sunday, April 01, 2007
Silently Yours
You know? It's funny but sometimes you come to the realization that you just want to be alone. Oh, no there was nothing anyone said or did. But sometimes the draining of unfamiliar crowds or large crowds (even if it's only 6) can wear you down. And it's in the hiding away that you get the chance to listen to the silence...
breath in life...
one breath at a time.
I am really thankful for those times. Where I can just be. Yours.
Silently Yours.
Friday, March 23, 2007
You are Sunrise
You Are Sunrise
You are a person of reflection and meditation. You start and end every day by looking inward.
Caring and giving, you enjoy making people happy. You're often cooking for friends or buying them gifts.
All in all, you know how to love life for what it is - not for how it should be.
What Type of Day are You?
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I have never laughed so hard at a blog before.
Now, before you freak out on me and think I have a horrific sense of humor, please note that I would never imagine a mother would actually decapitate a favorite Pooh Bear, but I too have experienced the utter annoyance for those little ones who feel the great need to floo the coop for a half hour or so after bedtime has officially ended ten times over.
And someone vocalizing it was absolutely hilarious to me this morning at sun-up.