Practically Speaking

So I have a practical post here for all my helpful community out there. I was hoping you could keep a heads up for me regarding the following items. It's garage sale season and I have been searching for these lovelies to aid in the giggles for our little clan:

I'd really like a radio flyer wagon without paying a kidney - or 7 for it. So if you happen to see one in the 20-30 price range will you call me so I can snatch it up? I've been watching Craigslist (LOVE) for 2 months now seeking this item and was hoping to have given it to Abi for her birthday. But apparently that's not going to work out. I really would like the one with the seatbelts and the tall backed seats shown in the above link since my kiddos are so little that falling out of a wagon after it hits a rough patch in the grass is in their DNA. Thanks all.

*** Yay we got the wagon on Abi's birthday! (see above)


Also, if you happen to see a toddler climber this would be wonderful for our "in between" stage right now in our backyard play. It could be something small like this or something bigger. Rachael's not quite skilled enough to play on our big jungle gym (she's still very butt heavy in climbing the ladder) and it really just makes me quite nervous - and Abi - yeah right. So even if you were to find a "suntanned" toddler climber with a slide I'd be super happy to buy it within the 20-40 range again. Something like attached pictures above that's sturdy and all. I don't really care what it looks like and I'm not brand specific. I just can't rationalize spending that amount of money on a toy for the backyard. Seriously some of these things go for $600. That's feeding Tofic AND Lidia for TEN MONTHS!!! (gasps and dies).


We're also looking for a double jogging stroller with a swiveling front wheel. Matt and I are hoping to train for a 1/2 marathon because we are sincerely insane, but it's really hard to find babysitting 24/7. So if you find a double jogging stroller out there that's not trashed within the 30-40 range we would REALLY benefit from such. Something like the pictured above or whatever would be helpful.


Again, we're not made of money here and we're trying not to acquire merely a bunch of junk, but some useful pieces to add to our outdoor adventures. Used things are fantastic with us! Thanks for all you garage sale/bargain shopping goo-roos who have become delighted by this practical post. And thanks for not looking upon this post as a materialistic overload. =) Just trying to be frugal and practical all in one.

-Thanks!

Unharnessed.

You know, God is changing my heart. It's so hard to put into words. But suddenly some of the things I have valued seem to feel earthly and temporary. Stuff feels like stuff more. And Kingdom works are consuming my mind. I find myself consumed by the burdens, the hope and the promise of an all-sustaining God who provides every need.

It's in the face of the poor's needs that I question how I define need. It's in the way missionaries live that I question what I feel I deserve. It's in the heart of the gospel that I question my drive and my motive. It's in the blessing of our culture that I question my standard of success. It's in your face, Lidia, in your eyes, Tofic, that I am challenged to live a life of surrender and obedience. Where am I looking for Jesus today? Have I missed His life all around me?

Lidia and Tofic, you are normal kids - sinning, smiling, trying to figure out life. And I still marvel in the mystery that by me just admitting you exist and you have needs and obeying, my heart is drawn to Jesus.

You know, I truly believe that our faith is a journey, peeks and valleys, rough roads and smoother ones. And yet I also wonder how much of us is supposed to waver and how much of us are we to allow to be consumed by our culture's hierarchy. No hippy rebellion here, just trying to live with a healthy Godly worldview. Tired of shutting my eyes in so many ways and yet finding the hope in opened eyes, despite the desperate need of the world.

It's funny how God's call to discipleship doesn't necessarily mean leaving all behind will take us beyond the realms of our neighborhood physically. Though casting the net aside and following Him is still the devotion desired and required, God is opening me to the reality of being a missionary in my home. He can touch the world from our front doorstep. Oh what He has and will continue to do with a surrendered life.

I wonder how I've missed it in the past - been so caught up in me. It's like the blinders have come off and the sight has returned. Jesus is so much bigger than we give Him credit. Jesus is so much bigger in this world than we see from North America. I've prayed for missionaries in the past, but they still felt across the seas. Today they feel like next door neighbors. And I ring their doorbells when I hit my knees in the morning.

I find myself hurting for their hurts. I find myself crying over the poor's loss. I find myself inspired and desiring to be more obedient through the stories of the faithful and the God-exalting. Devotion stirs devotion. God's Word seems voidless. And all that changed is my morning routine. Who would have thought that a morning routine change would make Africa feel so close? He's changing me.

Oh the power we Christians have harnessed closely in prayer. Not the cheap brush-off kind of Prayer. I'm talking "I believe You can accomplish this" prayer. The power to hit our knees for more than a never-ending sick list. When prayer becomes more than a mode of gossip. When prayer becomes more than a "church thing". When you start talking to your Best Friend in the mornings (and at night, and at noon.. and ...) about your desire to add one more to His Kingdom. "Please, Jesus, even just this one more..."

Justice seems to matter more. Patience seems to be attainable. Prayer becomes a strategy in battle. Neighbors spread across oceans. Your heart breaks for injustice and overflows in accomplishment and joy. Love becomes more than enough if it's done in Jesus' Name. And discipleship feels natural when Jesus consumes your thoughts.

I don't know if my face is glowing. I don't really care if I scare some by the fact that I have seen God. All I know is, I don't ever want to be the same. I don't ever want to go back. I'm no less filthy than before, I'm just more repentant. And all I know is I want today to be a little more obedient than yesterday. That's a starting point at least.

My heart breaks for those who have yet to see - truly see - the heart of God. Oh, Jesus... you know my prayers. Open us up, Jesus. Please, Jesus, that You would be more and more and that obedience would be our worship.


- changing.

New Vision

I am finding myself in a new place,
Looking in the mirror and seeing a new face
hidden behind the old one.

Inside is changing,
Eyes are widening
and I don't want to go back.

You have become real,
Your hurts, your pains
somehow I am being changed.

Before I just sent the normal,
Giving only what I had promised
now i can't get you off my mind.

We think you,
We pray for you
we wonder how you spend your days.

And while you are an imperfect child,
In an imperfect world
we are seeing Jesus in loving you.

Lidia and Tofic,
we love you
an ocean away.


- thinking about our world vision kids again.

As the days go on...

So this is what happens when you are sick: the world goes on and you are on the catch-up. After a week and a half of oogies, I think our brood is finally on the rebound. Abi missed the bugs - thank goodness, for that kid whined enough busting in her two top teeth to drive anyone to the edge. Good thing I was drugged numb (kidding). But poor Matt received sick wrath - FOR ONE DAY- while Rachael and I are still on the up rise from our suffering woes (cue the violins). If I could just vacuum suction out all the mucus (viewer rating tanks). ANYWAY.

So life is happening all around us. It feels like years since we've been outside and in the meantime some kind of huge deep red flower popped up in our backyard planter box. Perty cool, people. Perty cool.

Dakota has found herself a new home - it was her or Abi so alas, we opted to keep our daughter over the dog. But Dakota is and will continue to be well missed for a while yet. And, as with any family pet whom you have invested in and incorporated into your world, our love goes with her. Saturday was a sad drive to Indianapolis, but it is good to know that while the breed-specific shelter finds her a home her life is not in threat.

So with that change has come some decluttering (or simplifying, eh Jess) of our home as well. I've put up a clothes line in the backyard in efforts to thoroughly brand myself a "woman of another decade". No really, I just think drying blankets and sheets, etc on the line as well as those "we can't seem to get the stain out of them" whites is beneficial.

Only in picking up Material World from the library and thumbing through it a bit yesterday I've come to realize that clothes lines are more common than we "stuck in America's movement" people may have imagined. Talk about a book to readjust your worldview, people. The book goes about the globe and selects homes around the world to do a homestudy upon. They take a picture of all the material goods a family possesses after moving them to the front lawn or such location near their home. Then the book compares similar needs, like toilets, food, etc cross-culturally. Amazing to think of how little some can live on compared to how much we may convince ourselves that we need.

And thus, we've also been thinking and praying and hoping and talking about our efforts toward adoption. Matt and I enjoyed date night conversation walking kidless around the mall (loathe summer heat). It's so wonderful to get us-time to talk about what all we have been praying about and hoping regarding our family's future. I HIGHLY recommend date nights with your husband/wife. Crucial in any marriage to be on the same page.

So alas, that has been our life lately. And next week we'll celebrate Abi's first birthday (falls over dead). How quickly the time flies!

But alas, I must get going, it has been requested that I come read to the children while they soak the bathmat with bath time bliss.

Hope you are fairing well.

Invaluable, but with Expectation

You know more than once I've been accused of over-thinking. Who me (ahem)? But it is true. I confess to be a professional over-thinker. Life matters. Think much. Act smart. And I guess then I can never be accused of thinking too little. Instead you can slap the label of "thinking too late" on me. hehe.

So I've been thinking about parenting and Matt and I agreed on a car ride the other day that one important rule in parenting to teach to your children is that "What Mommy and Daddy says is law." There is expectation and consequence in Mommy and Daddy's words. It is not acceptable to trudge on without acknowledging that Mommy or Daddy has said, "no," and don't mess around in the realm of obedience expectation.

There's a difference in forced and choice obedience. I don't want our kids to obey because they have to, but because they want to please us. And yet in some instances, I'll just take the obedience, regardless of the willingness displayed behind it. We're not running a boot camp, here, but there are certainly clear expectations of quick responsiveness.

Rachael, bless her little heart (Southern slang for "Are you serious?"), has her moments of testing the law. No, people, she's no felon at 2 and a 1/2, but she certainly feels the need to make a few waves sometimes. Yet I am reminded that while children have an amazing ability to remind you of the Fall out (reference: Genesis), their value should never be questioned in their minds (nor yours for that matter). It is not a matter of convincing myself that Rachael is an angel (an often misused and personally unfavored term) and always means no harm - have you seen that kid's eyes, she's not innocent. But she is and will always be invaluable in our eyes. Children are a blessing. I couldn't agree more. And yet that blessing does not mean that in some moments she isn't downright awful. =)

We've all been around the "seriously, do their parents set any boundaries?" kids before. The ones pushing their siblings down repetitively, whining uncontrollably, and the ones that cast off their parents' direction as quickly as you flip channels on a "nothing's on" night. And we've all been around the "do you even like your kids?" parents who seem to make it a personal goal to create and win a power struggle in every conversation with their child. Those poor "can I do anything right?" kids. So obviously this valuing while creating healthy boundaries balance is just that - a balance.

Now I've had my share of "hope no one's taking notes" parenting embarrassments before; serving the baby steaming hot soup, handing the toddler a lollipop to make her shut up... we all have those head-smacking "please don't model your parenting style on this moment" experiences... and I'm sure I'll have more too, cuz perfection won't happen until the new Jerusalem. But operating on a "just this once" parenting style with each passing circumstance won't get the job done. Or let's put it this way, in my experience I have seen it create a lot of ungrateful, selfish, unthoughtful kids that cycle through babysitters faster than a 6th grade dance attracts wallflowers.

Why am I blogging about this? I don't know. Just thought it something to think about in my over-thinking ways.

Question of the day: How can you make your child feel valued while still setting healthy boundaries?

Every child is different, but the healthy boundaries are the same.

Messy Truth

Isaiah 58: 6-11 -

"Is this not the fast which I choose, To loosen the bonds of wickedness, To undo the bands of the yoke, And to let the oppressed go free And break every yoke?

"Is it not to divide your bread with the hungry And bring the homeless poor into the house; When you see the naked, to cover him; And not to hide yourself from your own flesh?

"Then your light will break out like the dawn, And your recovery will speedily spring forth; And your righteousness will go before you; The glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.

"Then you will call, and the LORD will answer; You will cry, and He will say, 'Here I am.' If you remove the yoke from your midst, The pointing of the finger and speaking wickedness,

And if you give yourself to the hungry And satisfy the desire of the afflicted, Then your light will rise in darkness And your gloom will become like midday.

"And the LORD will continually guide you, And satisfy your desire in scorched places, And give strength to your bones; And you will be like a watered garden, And like a spring of water whose waters do not fail." Matthew 25: 31-46 - "All the nations will be gathered before Him; and He will separate them from one another, as the shepherd separates the sheep from the goats; and He will put the sheep on His right, and the goats on the left. "Then the King will say to those on His right, 'Come, you who are blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. 'For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.' "Then the righteous will answer Him, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? 'And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? 'When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?' "The King will answer and say to them, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.' "Then He will also say to those on His left, 'Depart from Me, accursed ones, into the eternal fire which has been prepared for the devil and his angels; for I was hungry, and you gave Me nothing to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me nothing to drink; I was a stranger, and you did not invite Me in; naked, and you did not clothe Me; sick, and in prison, and you did not visit Me.' "Then they themselves also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry, or thirsty, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not take care of You?' "Then He will answer them, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.' "These will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life." We followers of Christ are called to more than just our moment of salvation. And our evidence of our faith displayed through the fruit of our response to the poor and "the least of these" will have everlasting affects. I find it eye-opening that Christ chooses the presiding factors on which to weed the goats form the sheep to be " For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me,"(Matthew 25: 35-36). And here in Isaiah 58: 7 addresses directly the qualifiers of feeding the hungry, providing a home to the stranger or homeless person, and clothing the naked. This is not to imply that works are a salvation agent, but instead that a life of works for the poor is evidence of a true faith. It is challenging to delve into the dirt and the "messy" lifestyles of others. Christ doesn't qualify clothing the naked only if they are interested in Jesus or only if they promise to get a job to clothe themselves. Yet as Matt learned this morning through Acts 4 it should be Jesus' name that compels us to preach and serve. And we need to be careful not just to love and provide for the poor and the needy because "you're loved," or "we care about you," or even because "we just wanted to bless you," but instead because we have come in Jesus' name (Acts 4:10). It is Jesus that gives us the fire and the heart to run to the needy with open arms. So today, whose name am I coming in? And am I even coming?

- praying for eyes wide open to the Truth.

I Can't Go Back.

Orphan Summit 2011 was wonderful, overwhelming, and inspiring. Much unlike the familiar guilt-trip driven orphan care seen in infomercial ads, the Summit focused on the hope and compassion God stirs within His people for orphans and the poor. The Summit focused on being compelled to reach out and serve and love and provide for orphans because we were once orphans adopted by God and now are called His family. I could fill this blog with hours of information and emotions and out-pouring from the two days of heartfelt encouragement and empowerment for the Body of Christ to go forth and fulfill God's commands to care for the needy. So instead of hitting you with it all today, I plan on sharing with you and anyone else I meet for the rest of my life. When God's called receive His instructions, we are compelled to run to the labor with full abandonment. Or another way to say it, in quotation of Sara Groves: "I saw what I saw and I can't deny it. I heard what I heard and I can't go back. I know what I know and there's no substitution. Something on the road, cut me to the soul. Your pain has changed me. Your dreams inspire. Your face a memory. Your hope a fire. Your courage asks me what I'm afraid of ...and what I know of love..."

Matt and I are left in a place of prayer. We know we are called to adopt. We don't know where. We don't know how. We don't know when. We don't know who. But all we know is that we must find out. And we're not interested in merely a humanitarian act - we just want to obey Jesus. So we're praying hard and asking our friends and family to come alongside of us and pray with us.

The pivotal moment in the weekend for me was sitting down to the provided lunch, while waiting to bag some food to send to those dying of starvation far across the world. Matt and I had come with every expectation to work throughout our lunch process, shoveling down lunch quickly to allow for more time. Jesus compelled me but a statistic resounded in my head, "2 people for 2 hours of labor in bagging food equals 1 child's year worth of food supply." We were planning to fill small bags approximately the size of two stationary envelopes with a highly concentrated rice, mineral, and powdered protein formula. I ate my lunch quietly, listening to the "background" music that blared loudly beside me from computer speakers. It was an African children's choir, singing Revelation song (the one Kari Jobe released). And in that moment God taught my heart in a very real way - these voices were singing straight scripture: "Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God, Almighty Who was and is and is to come. With all creation I sing, praise to the King of Kings..."

It blew me away that from merely me taking time to fill a bag of food, there could be a brother or sister in Christ standing beside me in the new Jerusalem that would have otherwise not been there. In that moment, and in each moment thereafter, it had nothing to do with me helping someone and everything to do with my obedience to God's commands. God's command to go and to make disciples, God's command to take care of the poor and needy, God's command to do unto the least of these, God's command to provide for the widow and the orphan... it all flooded through my mind- obedience felt that much more critical. I don't have to sell all my possessions and move to a third world country, but my obedience is directly tied to what I do today to obey the Lord. My obedience is directly tied to how I serve the least of these today, from the comforts of my home, from the way I teach my kids about God's heart, from the way I help structure our family values and our family goals, from the way I use my money, from the next conversation I have.... TODAY - not tomorrow or some futuristic goal of later having more funds or time or devotion. Today!

I can't possibly describe to you how my heart feels or what it feels like to have God pull the blinders off to His heart for the poor and the needy. I can't possibly begin to put into words how much more than smiling at a homeless man or volunteering once a year at a food bank or how much more than doing a 30 hour famine awareness once a year with the youth it is to have God's heart regarding the poor. But brothers and sisters in Christ, it is our responsibility to pass on to our children that "to much is given, much is expected". It is our responsibility to pour ourselves out that one more may come to know God in His abundant love and provision for our souls.

The world is filled with one "I can't" after another. But what I have found regarding the poor and the needy and the orphan is that a family, regardless of financial status, who has a heart for the orphan and the widow and the needy will pour themselves out through prayer, conversations, collecting spare change, awareness, walking alongside missionaries in their endeavors to blog about God's work around the world, creative fundraisers, and doing everything they can to keep open eyes and gain a more Godly worldview so that through that family our Lord will be glorified. And Matt and I desperately want our family to have an accurate worldview, that God's heart would compel us and direct our steps to bring Him the most glory possible.

It just all boils down to this... In Christ there are 2 kinds of Christians: those that merely receive Christ and those that become saints. I'm not talking some weirdo "check me out, I rock" title. I'm talking about those that have jewels on their throwing-at-Jesus'-feet-crowns and have sold themselves out for the utter and complete Glory of God and God alone. And I agree (once again with Sara Groves) that "when the saints go marching in, I want to be one of them." When I stand before Jesus I am going to have so much to say regarding my lackings, but I want to also be able to cling to Him and say, "Jesus, I tried so hard - even though I failed in so many ways- I poured myself out because I wanted so much of You and I wanted to make so much of You."


- that is if I'll be able to speak at all.


(praying and thinking and longing)

Guilty As Charged

I read an article in a Christian Parenting magazine the other day while waiting to pick up the Kindergartner I watch after school. The article title? Getting over Guilt. Beyond the sheer entertainment of the author's self-portrait of standing with baby on hip and her hand to her head with an "I blew it expression", I found it interesting as the author spoke of sending her guilty situation through "the Three G Test".

G #1: Gifts. Guilt gives you the opportunity to re-evaluate what is and is not on your list of gifts. Ex. Some people rock it up at baking - I do NOT! Therefore, instead of feeling guilty that I didn't think of bringing in a piping hot plate of cookies for the next youth group function, I can default to something I am gifted at and serve the youth in another way. End result? The youth get served. AKA Success!

G #2: Growth. Guilt can spur you on to growth. Ex. You stink at doing the laundry so you feel guilty for being selfish all the time and avoiding the laundry resulting in doing the laundry to avoid feeling guilty. (You know, just pulling a situation out of mid air here - cough.) Voila! - productive guilt. But I really likes this statement from the article: "While I am not a naturally 'gifted' homemaker, I cannot use that as an excuse to let my home become a sty. And while I am no more gifted in the area of 'child management' than I am in home management, that cannot be an excuse to let my kids rule the roost." So true. So true. A stinger and so true.

G #3: Grace. You'll never be good at everything and guilt is inevitable when you fail so you are super blessed to have God's grace in the whole teaching process. God continually offers grace in your efforts and your failures. And you cannot experience grace without first experiencing guilt. AKA, I'm not thankful for the undeserved gift of grace if I still feel like I could have done it on my own.


I just thought this article was neat and helpful in terms of motherly guilt. And so in those next guilty moments, instead of standing there and feeling sorry for myself, I'm going to try to think about the three G test. Was it even a gift of mine that I was trying to accomplish or was it a greener grass on the other side of the fence moment? Am I using my guilt as a crutch or growing through the guilt? And is this guilt another opportunity to acknowledge God's grace during my mistakes?

- Just a few guilty thoughts. =)

A Grateful Perspective

My husband and I had a conversation tonight about the art of living on a budget. I call it an art because it really can be a challenge to live within your means while still feeling the reality of the utter luxury we have in our "means." It's so easy to lose oneself in the "new fads" of today. My kid needs the newest of this. My wardrobe is not complete without the newest of that... Now don't get me wrong a little spoiling is not a problem, but it's important to live within our means.

Living within your means is not popular. Look at the government for example (no, I really won't go there). Commercials fail when we live within our means. Fad fashions fail when we live within our means. Extra storage space fails when we live within our means. And Spring cleaning gets easier when we live within our means.

But for some reason living within our means has become a synonym of the word poor. It's like choosing not to have credit card debt is a lifestyle of the past - everyone is just getting by on the minimum payments, John, get with the program here. It's like going out to get an ice cream cone as a family is no longer spoiling, but an expectation. I sincerely hope and pray that a gift or a random spoiling is not normally considered an expectation in the eyes of my children. They have no right to spoilings - and it's not because I'd rather be selfish and keep the extras for myself. But it is out of the same sincere love for my kids that I give and I choose not to give.

There is such danger in raising a kid that expects overabundance. I'm not talking about expecting food and clothing and shelter and the basics - I certainly hope Rachael and Abi expect, and even beyond that, trust that all that they need will be provided for them by Matt and I - And really where the credit is due: God. But I believe the value in gratefulness is portrayed in not getting everything you want. When you don't have all the new trends you are given the opportunity to value what you do have. I'm not saying we're planning on intentionally depriving our kids, but I am saying that need and want are two different things that God is entrusting us to teach our kids (as we learn ourselves at times. [clears throat]).

Growing up not once did I doubt my parents' love for me. Not once did I doubt their dedication in raising my sister and I to value and appreciate and respect and have self-control about things. Sure I wanted stuff I didn't get. Sure I wasn't wearing the coolest clothes. Sure we didn't have the newest toys. And I don't regret that. I don't feel a loss in my childhood. Yes, my sister and I were teased - what kid out there wasn't teased? My sis and I didn't look like slobs. But we also didn't buy our clothes from a designer shop. My mother was frugal and she still is darn good at being frugal without looking poor. (Holla, Mom!) Thrift store shopping is an art, not just a fun hobby. I mean come on, if you can enter a thrift store and leave with a wardrobe that looks like you shopped at Kohls then you need some serious props given. (Again, Holla, Mom!)

Growing up I remember having the cousin who "had everything." Now I know quite well that they didn't really have everything, but it sure seemed like it. I remember how different it was to meet blessed people in my life and those that felt the need to make you feel jealous of their wealth. I remember thinking others spoiled and mean for their pride in having the newest and "best" things on the market. But I also remember going home to my familiar dolls and toys and enjoying hours of play without begrudging my parents for deprivation. I spent hours on end outside playing when I grew up and to this day I really can't remember much of anything in particular that I played with out there. So whomever claims that stuff makes memories, I know that one's a lie.

I'm not just some bitter poor kid. I just have been taught to find value beyond things. And I hope to teach that to my kids.

The youth group is getting ready to have their annual 30 hour famine again. It's the time of the year when we intentionally look at other countries and the poorest of the poor through the eyes of Christ. We try our hardest to drop our spoiled natures and I-can't-believe-I-don't-have's to see true need at it's purest form. Talk about humbling, people! Every year God uses the 30 hour famine to blow me out of the water. Everything I thought I needed suddenly looks quite stupid. Everything I thought my kids needed suddenly pails in comparison to the utter raw need. Not once have I ever doubted that my kids would be able to eat or survive a common illness. And it's not just for the sake of guilt that the 30 hour famine exists. What good is a 30 hour famine if it remains in a once per year category?

Life changes occur when we see our families in the real light.

We are among the riches people in this world if we own a car and live in a stable home and have food on the table and money to spend at a store and health care and... and... the list can go on and on. It's not enough to merely smile at that fact - God calls to my heart, "How are you using that child?" It's not enough just to sponsor some kid and think that cuts me off the hook. How am I teaching my kids to value? What am I teaching them to value? What am I teaching them about wants and needs? What am I allowing myself to think about wants and needs?

To much that is given, much is expected.

I used to think that when the Bible talked about that it was referring to just a spiritual gift. Or maybe even just those that are really wealthy. It was so much easier to exclude myself from that category and think of all my I-can't-s and my if-only-we-had-more-money's.

What a challenge to be conscious of the underlying messages I allow myself to receive through commercials. Or will I allow myself to live a life in which I'm so stuck in it's-never-enough that I can't move forward to I-have-plenty,-here-have-some!


Am I so stuck on me that I am forgetting my work here?


Rachael and Abi, when you grow up, I really hope you won't look back and think "we never got everything we wanted" but instead think, "we got more than we needed." And if ever you have some desire to parent your kids in a different way than I parented you, please just know in your hearts, that I tried so hard to show you Jesus - and yet I failed in so many ways.


May my next opportunity to teach gratefulness and perspective be a success.

- in Christ alone.

Accepting What Now?

I was reading Job yesterday. Chapter one: Job is introduced as a known, faithful, obedient and relentless follower of God. God offers Job to be tested by Satan. Job loses all his wealth, all his children are tragically killed, and his cattle are ransacked. Job's wife is the sole survivor and when you meet her character in chapter 2 you may wonder why. Yet, Job still praises God. Chapter 2: God offers Job again and Job loses his health. Job's wife "encourages" Job to just casually "curse God and die" - oh the picture of exhortation. Job's response?

"Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?" (ch.3, v.10)

Can we say heart-piercing?

mmm. Yowza!


How easy it is to complain. Ask anyone and I'm sure they could come up with a laundry list of frustrations in their little world. Hello? Could someone help me carry mine? And amidst my complaining I read the words, "Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?"

ZING!

You know it's been a challenge to decipher the truth amid the lies we are whispered daily, sometimes nearly every minute. We're given the opportunity to follow truth to our Lord or follow lies to a desert-wandering path. And when we find ourselves out in left field, thanks to our apple-biting nature, we find the tumble weeds aren't enough company to sustain (oh but we're going to try first). And we need to prodigal it back to the Father with a list of apologies. But we have to first realize that the Father's perceived "pig slop" would be better than the dust we stand in before we can find ourselves robed and at His welcome-home-party table.

You know, it's so easy to get discouraged. Trials seem to constantly be hiring and for some reason we keep submitting our resumes, sometimes unknowingly.

Sometimes working out our salvation feels like a once-a-month shopping trip with the gimpy cart and a late-napping, fall-out expressing toddler. And it's in those moments that I desperately beg and plead for the Father to remind me of His open-door policy because it's so easy to feel like God's a complaint box that never gets weeded through. But no matter how many times I get stage fright and feel overcome by the serpent's whispering, I need to keep reminding myself that when that curtain comes down the only encore will belong to Jesus and Jesus ALONE!


- wrestling out this faith journey.

Raining and Thoughts

This weekend was a good one, even though it was a hard one. The reality of our dear brother in Christ, David Cowherd, really being gone is a mixed bag of emotions. While life "goes on" here on this side of heaven, we miss his smiling face. Continued prayers for Jeanie and family. The visitation is tonight and the funeral is tomorrow.

Yesterday was a quiet day and today feels like a repeat of yesterday.

I have found sometimes in my walk with Christ that there are high moments and then the valleys. Valleys can be brought on by many things. And it's odd, but while in a valley you can still have joy in Christ. You'd think a valley would just be consumed with heaviness and darkness. But amidst the trials there is still unwavering hope - hope in faithful Jesus.

But there are still times that bring on silence, thoughts whirling in your head and times of just being and doing with little thoughts. Oh the value of a walk or a mundane task amid "quiet days." There's just been a lot of process lately. A lot to think on. A lot to surrender.

Abi's smiling face today has been lovely. She has two little curls on the top of her head that appeared after bath time this morning. The two curls counteract each other resulting in both standing straight-up on her head in one Alfalfa sprout. It's super cute to witness the both bobble as she crawls about with a smile devouring her face. Amazing the affects of a full belly and teething meds.

Rachael is having a cute moment as well, setting up a picnic for Abi - which Abi promptly mauls and then claps. Rachael seems only mildly affected by Abi's inability to "play right." It's fun to have two, even when they clash at times. And it still amazes me how much that toddler just loves that little baby - right where she's at.

Matt and I have been trying to eat healthy again. HA! Isn't that the story of our lives. But Matt stumbled across a book called "Eat this, not that" and it's been helpful in eating REALISTIC healthy things. Let's be honest, people, we just don't have the time or determination to spend a whole afternoon making one dinner. Maybe that's part of the cooking/workout plan - burning the calories in the food prep. Regardless, we're exploring the possibilities of eating more healthy things without breaking the bank or feeling the need to jump on the organic fad. Let's just say the only "Go green" we do is to "Go Green, Go White" (Michigan State - oh how my hubby would be proud.) Don't get me wrong, taking care of the planet is a good thing, I'm just not into the craze of walking on eggshells as if the planet's going to explode tomorrow. Maybe I'm just broken, but I think the world is going to look like we lived here after we're gone - cuz, you know, we lived here. And I'm probably wrong - I have been in the past and will be again- but I feel like a lot of the "Go Green" is just a new fad, like skinny jeans and mismatching clothes. (Feel free to throw your tomatoes now. hehe.)

We've been going to the gym 4 times per week - no they're not giving out door prizes. The kids enjoy their little daycare play zone and Matt and I "enjoy" killing ourselves for the sake of health. It's actually quite nice to relieve stress and work hard, even at the expense of sweat dripping down your back. The gym can be so selfish, like the one "nicely fit" mom who dropped off her very overweight preschooler with fruit roll-up in hand into the daycare and then proceeded to the tanning room to tan her sculpted self. But we believe that the gum can also be a statement to God that we want to keep His vessel healthy and ready to go wherever He leads. We may not be marathon ready, but we'll try to be run-a-flight-of-stairs-without-dying ready.

Well I better get going, Rachael notified me that she needs a tissue (she wiped her nose on my shirt while snuggling. mmmm.) and Abi has begun her daily curtain attacking. It's raining outside. Despite common opinion of the rain being a nuisance, I like it.

Hope you all are enjoying your day and have enjoyed your weekend.

Awaiting Snow White Mornings

So I feel like a kid waiting on Santa Clause today - only I know Santa doesn't exist, but I'm still stoked! Today we get our new mattress. This may not sound too exciting to most, but to us it's about as thrilling as it comes! We've been blessed with hand-me-down mattresses thus far into marriage and while those are wonderful in that we didn't have to buy a mattress, we have experienced the wonder of "broken in" mattresses for too long. We've abandoned the idea of a springed mattress and have moved into the foam world. We viewed a sleep number bed, and bounced around on a tempur-pedic (WAY expensive and actually quite warm to sleep in as well) and breezed by the latex mattress world (new innovation, wonderfully comfortable, CRAZY expensive). So we found ourselves landing in the knock-off memory foam world. And let me tell you, that land in comfy and supportive. =)

So today, yes on April Fool's Day, we will get our mattress delivered and thus bask in the hope of tomorrow being a Snow White morning - birds chirping, cute and furry animals rustling about outside, singing a little song... Well, maybe that's asking too much, but no more back pain would be nice! =)


Anyway, that's all my rambling for today. And when you come and visit us later... NO! YOU CAN'T JUMP ON OUR BED! hehehe.

Have a great day, all!

Memories

I ran across an old Client's mother today. I was suddenly back in my old office - funny how memories work. Back came that previously-familiar awkward balance of confidentiality and still trying to be personable. It blew my mind to reminisce on my Rachael being 11 months old when I first came home to be a stay-at-home mom. Abi was still a hopeful idea as we knew little about her, but her strong kicks. That feeling of being on the brink of a world-flipping and yet still trying to keep your job and life in line. The hours of caring for others' children in therapy and group therapy sessions while wishing to just get the privilege of only taking care of my own. Oh the days of having a split heart - one desire to help others while that ache of someone else caring for my responsibility - my baby. And my client's sweet, smiling face. So funny the memories of encouraging my client's and client's family's pursuit of Christ, while trying not to lose my job in the secular world. It all came flooding back in that odd moment when the past met the present for a few minutes.
I was reminded that life is so short and so worth priority changes.


A dear member of our church suddenly passed away in a tragic plane crash yesterday. Matt had the hard job of accompaning Pastor out of the newly widow's house to share the news and help the widow call her children. In one instance an always-willing Bible teacher, father of three girls, husband of 51 years, and fellow runner after Jesus went to meet Christ face to face. Like Pastor said last night to his awaiting Bible Study class, "His faith became sight." It still feels surreal to me. I expect to see him on Sunday, him passing his Christ-honoring encouragement out to all he encounters. I still expect to see him in the church hallway, sharing about the utter joy he has for a new thing God taught him during his quiet time in the Word. We're all a bit shaken up. David Cowherd will be missed so much. And yet something in the back of my mind makes me smile, a sad hurt smile, but a deep smile nonetheless that after countless years of pouring himself over the Word, soaking in all that the Word projects about Jesus, and spending countless amount of time in conversation with others -seeking Jesus in all ways, our dear brother, David's face must have been a sight to see when he opened his eyes and saw... Jesus!...



Today just feels like a quiet day. A day of thanks for how far God has brought me, but also just a day to struggle to find words. A day to close my eyes and find silence. So many lessons He brings to mind. So many unanswered questions. And yet such hope that He has set before us.

Life can be so short. How will we be remembered? What difference will we make? What Kingdom work will we do?

That more would be left than our possessions.

That Christ would be lifted higher.



- A crown to lay at His feet. -

Outside

The spurts of beautiful weather stampedes my little clan outdoors. Oh how we long for the fresh air, wind in our hair, and freedom to RUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNN!!!

So here's a taste of our adventures outdoors.

Enjoying the ride.


Our lucky tag-along choosing to push the baby.


Daddy's helper walking Dakota.


Feeding the ducks.


Gotta love some fun with the cousins:

Bekka (3 yrs)


John (2 yrs)


And Josiah (10 mths)


Josiah doing what he does best - being cute.

Tunnel slides


the favorite... swings (esp. with Daddy pushing)


Oh the joys of the G-Force


can you tell they're her favorite?



And when it's all said and done and we're headed back:

this happens.
(She calls it, "Daddy snuggle me.")



And this one has been like this for the whole time. hehe.

O how we LOVE the glorious outdoors!

Gratitude

To those who take the extra time

And go the extra mile

to be with her - right where she is.

Thank you.

It means the world.

My Bitty Biter

Proof of my bitty biter. (Click to look close)


Playing just wears you out.


Accomplishment in pulling to your knees.


But sometimes you get stuck and need someone to bail you out.



Oh my sweet little Abi! How I love you!

A Bit O' Earth

So going along with the Secret Garden theme, I've come to the dreaded duty of weeding the front planter boxes. To give you a bit of perspective, all along the front of our house are three large planter boxes. Now "the front" of our house is really the entire length of our house, the door is in the middle of our home, and some brilliant landscaper decided to plant a total of 13 or 14 bushes, all of which lie in beautiful planter boxes - and require pruning naturally. My planter boxes are 3-4 feet in width at some sections and the small bushes are planted in the middle of the boxes - allowing weeding on both the front and back sides of the bushes. While these bushes are a bit cute, when I forget about the weeding, this non-gardening Mama dislikes - a lot - the never-ending prickly weeds that flock to bush-country. Maybe I'm just such a good gardener that everything wants to grow in my dirt? (Coughs).

So this morning the girls took a nap at the same time - mark this day down in history - and I could put them both down in the morning because I don't have Lexi today (whom I pick up from school in the morning) due to this weekend's illness pandemic in our household. [We have a Dr. appointment for Rachael this afternoon.] And in the art of self-sacrifice, I decided to be my own Mistress Mary and try to find delight in weeding the last HUGE flower bed. So, no joke, it took me about 45 minutes to clear away a three feet long section out of the twelve or thirteen foot long flowerbed. I nearly filled an entire huge trash bag of weeds.

And all I have to say after my experience is:


Bad Eve... no apple!



- Seriously, I enjoyed the prayer time and quiet amid the work. Maybe a gardener is growing in me yet? And maybe this too shall pass. hehe. =)

"Mommy read book?"

"Mommy read book?" she pleas as the climbs in bed to snuggle up for a nap. When Rachael was 11 months old, we made the family choice for me to become a stay-at-home mom. Abi, whom we had yet to know to be Abi, was on the way and my heart overflowed with the prospect of being there fully to raise our kids. I rearranged the kitchen, did some serious housecleaning to kick off the week and began a new tradition, reading before nap time.

I remember my mom reading the Lord of the Ring's series to us before bed, my sister and I fighting to stay awake longer to hear "just one more chapter." We were elementary aged and past the "little kid book" age. But I found such a joy in the stories coming to life in our minds - no need for pictures, we were each writing our own movie as the text filled our imaginations.

I began the Anne of Green Gables series when Rachael was 11 months old. I still remember the joy of feeling her little body drift into sleep amid turning the pages and rocking. And it's so precious to me to think that ever since Abi could hear from the womb she has drifted to sleep amid a story. I remember feeling Abi get heavier inside me as she neared her ripeness toward the end of Rachael's lap-rocking days. When Abi joined us on this side of the womb, Rachael would fall asleep in her bed and I would rock Abi while sifting through the Chronicles of Narnia series and a Karen Kingsbury novel (yes, Matt finally convinced me). There's something beautiful about knowing your kids are falling asleep to the soothing pattern and rhythm of your voice. And here we are today, with the Secret Garden.

Today we met Colin for the first time and a flood of a high school musical emerged in my mind. I love how a good book captures you as the scene is painted in your mind. But the scene coming to my mind was literally painted on sliding set pieces. I remembered try-outs with my sister, one of the first things I remember coming together to accomplish (due to high school falling at such a "sisters are uncool" age). My sister, an ever-so-old Junior, and then there was me, a little scared Freshman. My sister had the part of Lily in the bag, literally just waiting for the formalities of try-outs. But the part of Colin was up for grabs among all my friends. Whoever got the role of Colin would be immediately excommunicated from the group as the rest would probably be listed amongst the long list of "chorus" (hehe). My sis jumped into action, practicing and practicing with me. I remember thinking, "WOW! She knows me outside of the house too?!" (love ya, Jes.)

And then the call-backs list and the final posting sealed it all. I had my first lead in a musical, playing my sister's son. There was much make-up, ace bandages to make the illusion of a boy's chest appear, and a wig that took nearly 2 hours to put on my head (tucking my long hair beneath). But something magical came from singing "Come to my Garden" with my sister. I will never forget the excitement rush of hearing her beautiful voice cut through the fog (fog machined in) and pierce through the silence of the room. It was a moment. A moment indeed. And then that bridge... "I shall see you in my garden..." those tight harmonies. It was so neat. The show took on a life of it's own.

The lady on the recording has NOTHING on my sister. You should see Daddy's recording. =) But I do remember practicing to this version with my sister as we prepared for try-outs. It was just lovely. Lovely indeed.


Some pieces of the experiences God has given me are hard to convey. Rachael and Abi may never know the feeling of standing, or in my case laying on a bed (I was a crippled boy), and knowing that an audience of some hundred(s) of people are watching and yet feeling like no one else is there, but whomever is on stage. I hope Rachael and Abi get the chance to lose themselves in a musical number (not as in become loose morally here people). Just so much fun. So shaping and altering.

Funny how God has used some small-town moments to build up this stage-fright child within me. hehe.


Anyway... back to house chores.

- looking forward to tomorrow's nap-time reading.

So Much Bigger and Closer

Sometimes a walk down memory lane is filled with beautiful, white-picket fenced pictures. Other times lessons learned come to mind. And sometimes there's those 'remember when's that create a solemn and quiet moment in your heart.

I recently set up my old college computer to provide a space of childhood computer game playing. Funny to introduce the kindergartner I watch to packman - as if packman is something historic of the past. When booting up the old junker, curiosity led me to the old picture files. Funny to laugh through silly worship band pictures. But one file brought back a whole world of thoughts. It's title? New Orleans Mission Trip 2006.

We come to crossroads in our life. The road to heroism and the road to normalcy. And sometimes the two interchange and weave amongst each other. But every once in a while on down the road there comes a hill. And after the hill's climb you begin to see more values: greater value in rest, greater value in good hiking shoes, greater value in water, and even a greater value in life. And then all at once the horizon hits you from the top of that hill.

New Orleans brought back that feeling. The old war-zone looking pictures of displaced houses, demolished neighborhoods, and the eerie quiet that filled the air. No birds. No crickets. Nothing.

Work abounded on the trip. Filled with gutting flooded houses, stripping down walls and bleaching studs. All in the efforts to rebuild. All in the efforts to start again. In most cases we didn't meet the neighbors - those that were coming back for the wreckage. We just did our work. Did our part. Tried to leave behind a foundation that someone else could value again.

The images. The feelings. The poor world feeling so much bigger and yet so much closer than before. It all came flooding back as I flipped through the pictures, my mind adding a few not captured on film.

inside

clean-up begins

tearing down walls

removing glass from windowsill

pressure washing/bleaching molded studs

searching for valuables

the final product - a gutted house

Sometimes a walk down memory lane is filled with beautiful, white-picket fenced pictures. Other times lessons learned come to mind. And sometimes there's those 'remember when's that create a solemn and quiet moment in your heart.


- my heart goes out to Japan right now -

To The Anonymous - - You Matter

If there's one thing I've learned about being a stay-at-home mom of little kids, it's that you need a lot of support. It's a blessing to have a friend to talk to when you just need an adult voice. There are times the last thing you want to do is wipe another boogie nose, but knowing girl's night out is around the corner helps you press on. There are times you just want to take a drive in the car, without having to listen to 20 questions from the back seat. And while stay-at-home moms can seem like anonymous people , operating on a completely different day-shift than the rest of the world's 9-5, you know that you matter to the Savior.

But I've found a new level of anonymity. You moms have probably experienced it. It's the circumstance where you visit a friend, neighbor, extended relative, or acquaintance and the only one that matters in the room is .... the baby on your hip.

Have you ever felt that?

You're not even acknowledged. The baby receives the engagement, the patting, maybe is even taken from your hip and not one word is said to you. It's like you don't even exist.

Most days it doesn't bother me. I kind of enjoy staying out of the floodlights. But deep down inside a small part of me wonders why if I matter so much then why not even a word was said to me.

I've had this happen twice to me this past weekend. not a word was said to me in the hour+ that I spent with this person. All the interaction was with my children and my husband. It's as if a world around me existed and I was merely there for functionality.

I'm not posting about this as a passive-aggressive way of getting back at that person. This has nothing to do with that kind of a shallow act. I just wanted to post about this feeling for all those moms out there that are put in similar situations. All those moms out there (whom most will never have heard of or ever read these words) who just want a friend to look them in the eyes and say, "you matter. Even if you have some undetectable sticky thing in your hair."

"You matter to me even if you are thinking about how you wish you had time for a shower this morning. Even if you're wondering if you'll ever lose the baby weight. Even if your thoughts are on desiring a moment of quiet time once the kids go to bed. Even if the last thing on your list is to uphold some intellectual conversation because you just want someone to be with you without requiring something from you. You matter. Because you are you."

And it's in those moments that I hope and pray you hear your Savior whisper those truths to your heart.


Dear anonymous Mom out there,

You Matter to Me.

- Jesus.



He is all-sustaining.

Nightmare?

Rachael was crying on the baby monitor and I went in to her. I asked her what was wrong. After a few minutes she said, "I was sleeping. Alligator get my hand and I say ouch. I wake up and I cryin'."

Sounds like the kid explained her nightmare quite well.

Quite the imagination.

Too bad it bit her. =)

I wanna be a part of it...

So there's a part of me that is a traveler at heart. You see those gorgeous landscapes and something inside says, "Beam me up Scotti!" And there's something attractive about the city. No it's not the pollution, crazy traffic, violence or foul language that stirs that little place in my heart (surprising?). It's the glamorized tourist inside me that says, "Maybe some day..."

O the fun of traveling about in a confused tourist bubble, hoping you don't stand out too bad. I guess in my traveler's heart I never really care to look like a native. I just want to see the tall buildings, taste the cut little Mom and Pop shop bagels, and take a picture of the monument nearby. Just enjoy the simple things in the world of reading signs and learning new stuff.

And while the gorgeous sandy beach with the crystal clear water sounds so amazing and looks exquisite in those panoramic shots the fact is that Matt and I burn quite easily so the sunblock expense alone is enough for us to look around for a nearby city. Hehe. Maybe I'm a city girl at heart? Eh, I'm not so sure. Don't think that the over-stressed pressure of being in a non-sleeping place is all that desirable - especially for this Mom who hopes to sleep through the night on a regular basis when, say, the kids move out to college. But walking about in a city during the day, riding the subway, checking out all the cute little shops as you walk by their front windows...

There's a little shopping center around the Dayton area called 'The Greene.' It's a high-end outdoor mall that's designed to look like 3 or 4 city blocks. The perfectly swept roads, charity-only parking meters, cute little store fronts, wind whipping around the building corners, and a little 'fountain square' type meeting point make this little shopping area a cute little city in itself. Maybe I'm in love with those Frank Sinatra-ish movie era cities. A Roman Holiday. Breakfast at Tiffany's.

But whatever it is a little part of me thinks of vacationing in a city and then returning to "the quiet life" in our little suburb home.

White picket fence? Having my cake and eating it too?

You better believe it.


Alrighty, back to the real world. =)

To homeschool or to don't (er somethin')

Been thinking and researching a bit about homeschooling. Yes, I'm one of those nuts who thinks about staying with her kids 24/7 at the expense of her inner sanity and outer beauty (is it just me or do kids seem to have an affect on your outer beauty?).

A few homeschooling pros:

1. You know what they're learning (important as public curriculum has taken some interesting shifts)
2. You have some control over what they're learning (unless they're learning your bad habits).
3. Child has the opportunity to see the parent as a life teacher and not just a lame-o.
4. Cuts down on inappropriate (yet semi-functional for crowd control alone) bullying, teasing and competition. ("I'm bigger than you are, dork sister, cuz you're only a mere kindergartner!")

And a few cons:

1. You can't get away from your kids (Is that a problem? - rips out half a head of hair)
2. You are the teacher (please, no spitballs) so if you don't prepare - no one else is your backup.
3. Your weak subject is your kid's weak subject (Oh Matthew, the Math you would be teaching to our kids).
4. Social functioning needs to be higher than the "weird kids" out there. (Unless your kids are the weird ones. Then it needs to just be higher. -- being silly here.)
5. The constant fear of "is this enough so they'll be considered passing?"

Now don't you worry yourself. Just because I listed more cons than pros doesn't mean there are more cons than pros... I hope (wink).

Just word-vomiting about homeschooling thoughts.


[the giant hook comes out and rips her from the stage.]


Your thoughts?

Paradise

Returned from our two day rendez-vous in Louisville to the normal. Funny how much I've found enjoyment in the normalcy. The hotel stay was great; Matt at the Youth Advisory Board meeting on Tuesday from 8a-4p with a few breaks and the girls and I with no schedule, hanging out in the hotel room, going for a walk in the beautiful weather and enjoy the Seminary campus recreation center. Tuesday night, after the meeting ended, Matt and I enjoyed a little dinner and swimming with the girls - AKA sitting in one foot of baby pool water while Rachael ran in circles and Abi splashed. We looked foolish, but it was so much fun just to laugh and play childish games and be in the moment with our kids. No pride. Wednesday, we took the girls park-hoping to a few really fun parks with great slides, swings, ride-on bouncers, and a merry-go-round. Parks plus a wonderful walk alongside the Louisville riverfront and with full lunch bellies we spent the girls' naptime traveling back home.

Once stepping into the house it was funny how the normal hit us: dog barking, cat zipping about, laundry piles, toy explosions, dishes overload, etc.

And I just had to laugh this morning; 6:55am wake-up call - both Rachael and Abi in sync, nursing the baby while cuddling a not-quite-awake toddler, discovery of no toilet paper, 7am phone call with Goga (my mom) in which Rachael got it into her head that we were going to eat cinnamon rolls, improved cinnamon rolls from crescent rolls while rescuing my hair-tie from the cat, attacking Daddy at 8am as his sleeping in comes to a screeching halt (I couldn't help it!), playing in Mommy and Daddy's bed with Rachael's additions: thrown about foam puzzle pieces and a play cordless phone - on which Matt talked to 'Aunt Jes' about her making him snicker doodle cookies. hehe., Matt jolting out of bed and running for the oven at the realization that the kitchen timer had been going off for a while, sawing cinnamon rolls off the ungreased cookie sheet (promise I followed the ungreased directions) while rescuing another hair-tie and handing the baby salad tongs to pacify, joking and tickling with Matt, serving the toddler while Pounce lives up to his name in stalking and attacking my pajama pant legs. Listening to Rachael's rendition of "Jesus Loves Dakota" sung to our dog with an interlude of pleading for more applesauce, while feeding the baby oatmeal-apples-green beans - buttering, jellying and eating my breakfast between baby spoonfuls. Matt emerging from showering bliss in just enough time to grab breakfast, wash toddler hands, put in her requested Praise Baby movie, and grab a kiss on the way to the office. And as I sit here typing these words with two fingers the above song goes through my head, baby asleep in my arms - just realized the missed dried baby food on her nose, with cat attempting to find space on my lap - sitting on the baby- while in a purry mood. I'm telling you, people, there's no place I'd rather be.. oooo just another day in paradise.

-loving my circus! =)