Kingdoms Fall

Bless the Lord,
with all that's in me bless the Lord
may kingdoms fall
and rulers crawl before Your Throne!

Running It All Out

Sometimes when I feel like I'm in a spiral

I need a motivator,

So I find myself between the white lines.

It's odd but there's a strange comfort

a transformation that overtakes me

when sweat streams down my face.

There's an odd peace

when all I can hear is my heart and my breath.

A strange phenomena.

Strange security-blanket feeling.

Just me and my gym shoes.

Me and my thoughts.

Running it all out.

Nothing's Changed

I turned twenty-one on Thursday (January 19). Does that mean I immediately rushed to the bar to "use" my age? Not at all. I still stand on the same Rock that I've always stood on.

But it was really awesome to be surrounded by friends who used martini glasses not for alcohol, but for salsa and cheese dip. I am so blessed by my friends.

I am so blessed.

Thank You, Lord, for twenty-one years of love.

How You bless me.

I love You, Jesus.

Down the Hallway

It was quarter after six and usually I would find myself surrounded by little ones in the nursery, but tonight there were none. I had hung around for a while just to make sure that no one was running late because, afterall, families with small children often find themselves at the mercy of their children's schedules as oppose to their own. I gathered my things to leave and ventured down the hallway when something made me stop.

I was coming closer and closer to the cafe doors and I heard a familiar voice; "Alright, everyone, let's get started here. Take your seats." instantaneously I knew that the High School Youth Group was beginning in the theatre. A wave swept over me and I felt compelled to stop. With backpack on and guitar placed against the hallway wall, I stood in the doorway of the cafe and watched through the theatre windows on the other side of the cafe as rows of youth settled into their seats. Slowly talking died down and Jason's voice rose above the crowd once more; "So I have some ski trip stories to share with you," He announced with a voice that proved his years of experience at capturing the attention of wallflowers and social butterflies alike. The story of a devoted youth worker choosing to sit in a van's trunk so that the van's passenger seat could be occupied by a youth emerged among other funny stories of daredevil stunts and skiing wipe-outs.

And then out of nowhere a curly, red-head popped into the side door of the church and started down the hallway toward me. "Hey Kelly!" I spoke with surprise to see my best friend at the church this lat.
"Hey! Have you seen Phil Depp?"
"Nope, he's not here."
"Oh," she poked her head into the office and then continued down the hallway toward me. "What are you doing?"
At that second I heard a voice say inside my head, "Can't you see my heart? I want to be in there. I love being in there. I belong in there."
"Just watching." I responded and pondered where that voice had come from.
Kelly looked back toward the office, "Oh." Silence. "Well I'm going to have to come back tomorrow morning to talk to Phil, then. So, I'm going to take off. See ya." She paused, inviting a hug.
After Kelly left I watched for a few more minutes and then headed out to my car.


Thing is, I don't know if I can work with the youth and with Crosswalk (my campus ministry) at the same time. I don't know if that's overload or not. But it's true, my heart longs for youth ministry. I absolutely adore youth, especially that "tricky, high school rebellion" age. They are my favorite. It's so amazing to watch a wild/rebellious teen give their life to Christ and then become wild and rebellious for the Lord's glory alone. And teens wear their lives on their sleeves, so it's so cool to watch their boldness for the Lord. It's so fun to challenge them as they challenge you to live a life of integrity and passionate obedience to the Lord.

But I know that God has laid Crosswalk on my heart as a place to serve Him. And my passion for youth must wait until the Lord opens that door in my life. I must obey where He wants me to be, especially when it means sacrificing my own desires for His.

But in the back of my mind as I serve Crosswalk with all that the Lord gives me, I will file away my passion to serve youth. Who knows, God may bring out that file through an opportunity sometime soon. I just have to keep my heart open and keep running after my God. He knows what's best for me. He knows when and where He wants me to serve. It's my job to listen and obey.



I love you, God. How You bless me!

Fake-Egg-Tryin'

I went out to breakfast with Angela again this morning. This is our second meeting and it's really neat to get to know her. It's so amazing to hang out with another woman of God. It's indescribable how a woman of God's heart pours out in love and adoration of her Savior. It's so refreshing and revitalizing to be around someone who is truly Real and Alive in the Lord.

So, Angela and I found ourselves at First Watch (a breakfast and lunch joint). We both questioned whether the place was even open when we first arrived, prooving how many others were eating there at eight in the morning. My eyes scanned over the menu pondering what my stomach, whom had not woken up yet, most desired to devour. The menu prooved to be entertaining with a category for a "lighter" breakfast start, though not nearly as entertaining as Crackle Barrel's "weight watchers" section. I mean seriously... you're at Crackle Barrel! Hehe.
I had made up my mind quickly to find breakfast on the "real" menu when something caught my eye.

"What's a lowfat egg?" I asked Angela, puting down my menu.
"Oh, it's an artificial egg." She smiled as she poked her head around her menu.
"How in the world do you get an artificial egg?" I questioned and giggled.
"It's like an egg substitute. You pour it out of a container. It's gross. I mean, I think God did a better job then that. You might as well just have the real thing. It's only an egg." She laughed as she continued to scan her menu.
"Mmmmm, sounds appetizing! Like seriously, who comes in here like,'I'll have my egg poured from a carton, please.' " I laughed. No, fear... I found something stocked full of cholesterol and fatty goodness on the breakfast menu this morning. =)


Maybe some day I'll get up the guts to try a "lowfat" egg. No... now that I think about it, I had a bad experience with camp eggs in the past... yeah... ditch the whole fake-egg-tryin' for me. I'll stick to God's cholesterol creation.

Plea Response

"He has freedom where you have been held captive.
He has light where it has been dark.
He has comfort and gladness for every place that you mourn.
He has praise instead of despair.
He has a crown of beauty in exchange for the ashes of your life."
["Do You Think I'm Beautiful" by Angela Thomas]

People are flawed, they always have been, but He is so much Greater than any flawed person. So please don't miss His Beauty because another sinner has hurt you in the past. He is Perfect.
He will not hurt you.

I only wish you would call on His Name.

He always answers.



Light for Darkness...

...it's your choice.

My Words Compared To Yours?

My new favorite Radio Song:

"I searched the world for a song that I could sing

Praise to my King

A gift that I could bring

But no music I found could compare to You

Not one could do justice to Your glory

What are my songs compared to yours?
You speak with thunder and lightning

Your voice shakes the mountains

The foundations of the earth

All I can offer is this fragile breath

With each one I'll praise You

With each one I'll praise You more
I searched the world for a poem I could read

A rhyme that would bring glory to my King

But no writing I found was worthy of

This God high above all other gods

But what are my words compared to yours?
You speak with thunder and lightning

Your voice shakes the mountains

The foundations of the earth

All I can offer is this fragile breath

With each one I'll praise You

With each one I'll praise You more

Speak to me, speak to me, please

Won't You speak to me...

Cause You speak with thunder and lightning
Your voice shakes the mountains
The foundations of the earth
All I can offer is this fragile breath
With each one I'll praise You
With each one I'll praise You more!"

- "This Fragile Breath" by Todd Agnew

Even If He Does Not

Then Nebuchadnezzar in rage and anger gave orders to bring Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego; then these men were brought before the king.

Nebuchadnezzar responded and said to them, "Is it true, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, that you do not serve my gods or worship the golden image that I have set up? Now if you are ready, at the moment you hear the sound of the horn, flute, lyre, trigon, psaltery and bagpipe and all kinds of music, to fall down and worship the image that I have made, very well. But if you do not worship, you will immediately be cast into the midst of a furnace of blazing fire; and what god is there who can deliver you out of my hands?"

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to the king, "O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to give you an answer concerning this matter.

"If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the furnace of blazing fire; and He will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But even if He does not, let it be known to you, O king, that we are not going to serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up."

- Daniel 3:13-18.

Fear of Water & Fire

When you pass through the water, I will be with you.

And the waves will not overcome you

Do not fear for I have redeemed you

I have called you by name

You are mine

I am the Lord your God,

I am the Lord your God

I am the Holy One of Israel, your Savior

Do not fear ...

Though you pass through the fire, you'll not be burned.

And the flames will not consume you

Do not fear for I have redeemed you

I have called you by name

You are mine

I am the Lord your God,

I am the Lord your God

I am the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.

Do not fear

I am the God of Moses, I am the God of Abraham

I am the God of Isaac, the Holy one of Israel.

So child of mine do not fear, no do not fear!

There is nothing left to fear; I have overcome every fear

You just cling to who you know I am.

I am Holy, you cannot even comprehend Holiness

I am I AM! I am.

I am the Lord your God!

I am the Lord your God!

I am the Holy One of Israel! Your Savior!

Do not fear! Do not fear, no. Do not fear...


"Everyone who comes to Me and hears My words and acts on them, I will show you whom he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid a foundation on the rock; and when a flood occurred, the torrent burst against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built. But the one who has heard and has not acted accordingly, is like a man who built a house on the ground without any foundation; and the torrent burst against it and immediately it collapsed, and the ruin of that house was great." -Luke 6:47-49

"For the mountains may be removed and the hills may shake, But My lovingkindness will not be removed from you, And My covenant of peace will not be shaken," Says the LORD who has compassion on you. "O afflicted one, storm-tossed, and not comforted, Behold, I will set your stones in antimony, And your foundations I will lay in sapphires. Moreover, I will make your battlements of rubies, And your gates of crystal, And your entire wall of precious stones. All your sons will be taught of the LORD; And the well-being of your sons will be great. In righteousness you will be established; You will be far from oppression, for you will not fear; And from terror, for it will not come near you."

-Isaiah 54:10-14

Staying the Night

#1. Happy New Year!

May the Lord be glorified more and more this year. I can't wait to watch what He'll do this year. It's gonna be great! Woot-woot! Go Jesus!

#2. "Staying the Night"

Welp, one of my roomies came back today because we're starting school on Tuesday. I was crossing the parking lot, headed toward the apartment when I heard a voice holler from an approaching car, "Get out of the street!" As much as she picks on me (sorta sibling-like), I couldn't help but smile. It is so good to have her back. In all honesty, some sarcastic remarks can sting sometimes (no matter how much I repeat the fact that I know that she is joking) but I am so blessed that in our apartment of girls she is the one who chooses to communicate with me. In our apartment, communication means an invitation into one's life (even if it's only for five seconds of words). Silence can be good, but it can also be very isolating and unencouraging.

"Hey! What a wreck!" Jackie commented as she stood in my doorway. I looked up from my computer screen and endless junk emails.
In all honesty, her commentary about my room is probably the most stinging of comments. I don't know what it is about it. Maybe it's that she chooses to burn me when others come visiting and she mentions how clean my room is. Yes, cleanliness has never been an inbred habit. Yes, sometimes my carpet is hard to find. Dude, but it's so much better than last year. [Kelly can testify.] And in all honesty, when it comes right down to it, my room's cleanliness falls so far down on my priority list in comparison to spending time with friends, family and God. So, as for the clean laundry pile, scraps of wrapping paper, and tennis shoes strewed about, I am trying my best.
"I know, I know." I pretended like it didn't hurt me.
We had a conversation about Christmas joys and pitfalls and further holiday break news. At one point the topic of Matthew (my boyfriend)came into the conversation. Now, I'm honestly not surprised at all that Matthew popped into the convo. I was quite happy to share my blessing with her. I mentioned him heading home from Michigan and hoping to pop on over here soon. That's when the casual question came; "Is he spending the night with you?"
"No, absolutely not." Came my learned morals. [Not to imply that your would ever even ask to stay, Matt. You are too God fearing for that sin. -makes me happy- ]
"Oh, well I just figured... you know, maybe he was." She spoke in tollerance (sadly) of the worldly standard as she headed back into her room.
"Nope. There will be no boys what-so-ever sleeping in my room. No, no." I said before beginning my room cleaning.

Thank you, God, for the opportunity.
I love You.